Mental Peace

Wisdom Quotes Work Wonders

2006-12-25T10:22:00.000-08:00

What are "wisdom quotes?" They're not arguments or philosophies. They are simple statements that point at the truth.

"What does it profit a man to have gained the whole world, and to have lost his soul?" - Jesus Christ

You don't need to be Christian to see wisdom in the words of Jesus. Simple quotes from men and women around the world, from present day or milleniums past, inspire and instruct us, regardless of the religious or spiritual tradition they come from. Nor do spiritual and religious people have a monopoly on wisdom. Quotes that touch on the truth of a matter can come from scoundrels, saints, and ordinary people.

Why Wisdom Quotes?

"There are two great disappointments in life: Not getting what you want, and getting it." - George Bernard Shaw

Philosophies and arguments try to "capture" truth in a net of words. This is often to build systems of knowledge, or to satify egos. Wisdom quotes use words to point at truth, so that you can look and see it for yourself. Let me give you an example.

A man hesitates to do what he loves for a living, because he may fail. Outside of mathematics, virtually all reasoning is tainted with rationalization, so whatever his choice, he will support it with "logical arguments." No wonder he's confused and demotivated! He can't trust his own reasoning, if it just finds a logical construct for whichever fear, desire or other feeling is strongest!

Then Wayne Gretzky points out the obvious: "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." This hockey metaphor touches him, precisely because it's not a logical argument. It simply points out a truth he can see for himself. He won't get anywhere without "taking that shot." Seeing the truth is more motivating - and productive - than arguing it. That's the value of wisdom quotes.

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few." - Shunryu Suzuki

How to make the Ultimate Terrarium

2006-12-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

A terrarium is a beautiful project to make and to take care of but if you are ambitious you might want to make the ultimate terrarium. And this doesn’t come down to gardening skills. It comes down to a little bit of thought and a lot of creativity. Here are some great ideas for making your terrarium into the ultimate terrarium.

The Theme is King

The most appealing thing you can do with a terrarium is to make it theme based. People will very much enjoy a terrarium if it has a very recognizable theme. And this will further your creativity because it will force you to really think about what you are going to put in it other than the plants.

Some themes to consider:

Desert Theme: This is a popular theme for a terrarium because it looks very exotic with cactus, colorful sand, a variety of stones and even a lizard or two.

Carnivorous theme: Carnivorous plants like Pitcher plants or Venus Flytraps are very appealing because they have an exotic look.

Jungle theme: This is a very lush and attractive theme and to look good it will be a very dense collection of exotic and colorful plants.

Tell a Story with your Terrarium

This is a technique that is very effective in making your terrarium special. You tell a story with your terrarium by adding small figurines such as faeries, dragons, knights or princesses. Try to think of a frozen moment in time like the moment before a knight will discover the lair of a dragon. Or the moment before someone will throw a coin into a wishing well.

Building and adding those extras that really make it special

This is where you can get really creative with your terrarium and if you have chosen a theme or a story you can really fulfill your terrariums vision with extras like a miniature waterfall, an underground lair, a rock cave, a small pond with goldfish, or even electric lights or a working windmill.

Think about the enclosure for your terrarium

One of the most dramatic ways to make your terrarium appealing is to build it inside a unique or beautiful container. This can be anything from a distinctly shaped wine bottle to a fish tank or almost anything at all. I once saw a terrarium that was made inside an old television. All the internal parts were taken out and a glass front was put on it. It looked amazing.

A basic terrarium with an assortment of plants is a very pleasant project to work on but if you put a little bit of creative thought into your terrarium making you can make something that really stands out and makes people say wow!

The Gift that Keeps Giving

2006-12-23T07:30:00.001-08:00

A daughter reflects on a special Christmas gift from her father that wasn't found under the tree.

Christmas gift-giving can be a trying experience. Shopping for just the right present for everyone on your list requires much thought. What do they need? Is it the right size, color, and style? What about the quality? The long lines at the stores for returns the next day prove just how challenging it can be.

And after all that effort, how long will your purchases really last? In today's world of disposables, planned obsolescence, and ever-changing trends, it's rare to receive a gift that lasts more than a few seasons.

For these reasons, Christmas presents at our house were sparse. To my perennial disappointment, my parents weren't much into buying gifts. They had no patience for the whole process. My father especially lost interest when everything started being manufactured in China. Dad was a proud veteran of World War II, and he didn't like the notion of our goods being produced on foreign shores.

I recall one Christmas, after some prodding, he agreed to buy me a robe, but on two conditions. First, I had to pick it out. If he was going to buy it, he didn't want any guesswork. Second, it had to be American-made. Simple enough, I thought. So together we went to the local mall, trudging from store to store in search of a robe made in the U.S.A. Dad pored through the racks, scrutinizing every label: Made in China. Korea. Cambodia. Vietnam. (That one really perplexed him.) Surprisingly, there wasn't one to be found. In each store, he confronted the sales clerk and asked why they had no robes made in the United States. I was frustrated and embarrassed, but he persisted. It was really important to him, and he wanted to make his point.

That Christmas, I didn't get a robe. But I got a different sort of gift -- a subtle, unexpected one that doesn't wear out, become obsolete or fall out of fashion: the gift of understanding that it's important to take a stand for your beliefs.

My father was a man of principles. He'd go to great lengths to argue his case if he thought something was wrong or unfair. As a teenager, I often viewed him as stubborn, difficult, and even embarrassing at times. But now, with the wisdom of age and experience, I see him in a different light.

Through his commitment to his values, he taught me an important lesson that day at the mall. I didn't realize it at the time, but it influenced me deeply. Now as an adult, I, too, am compelled to speak out when I feel something isn't right. The values I speak out for may in some cases be different from his, but it's the commitment to them that matters.

Sometimes the gifts we receive from others are not wrapped in paper and bows. They are not manufactured, bought or sold. They are the gifts of teaching by example, of inspiring and motivating, of passing on lessons of living. After the flurry of the holidays has come and gone, these are the gifts that endure.

I may have been shortchanged at Christmas when it came to getting presents, but my father gave me a gift much more precious and lasting than anything he could have bought at the store: strength of character and conviction. Top quality, perfect fit, and no exchange or return needed. A belated thank-you, Dad.

101 Stress Management Tips - Part 1

2006-12-14T16:54:00.001-08:00

1. Maintain a positive attitude in life as much as possible. It is best to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. Do not look at a problem as a hindrance but rather as a challenge and opportunity to grow.

2. Say ‘No’ to those that promote stress in your life. This may mean not over committing yourself or not doing things you don’t want to do just because a friend asked you.

3. Breath correctly using abdominal breathing techniques, not shallow breathing. Expand your abdomen as you breathe in through your nose, hold, and then breathe out through your mouth, and hold.

4. Stop worrying! In most cases the things you worry about have a very low likelihood of occurring and usually don’t eventuate. At worst, accept your concern as a possibility and let it go.

5. Meditate regularly. Meditation has a positive effect physically, emotionally and psychologically and can produce a state of relaxation that benefits the heart, the brain, the lungs and blood.

6. Employ progressive relaxation, systematically tensing and relaxing various groups of muscles in an orderly sequence. You will not only feel more relaxed but you will learn to recognise the onset of muscle tension due to stress.

7. Stretch regularly. Stretching loosens up stiff tense muscles and increases the flow of blood and nutrients to the cells of your body. It reduces mental and physical stress, tension, anxiety and promotes good sleep.

8. If you believe in God, then pray to God. Don’t just ask for help, talk about what happened during your day. Knowing you are not alone and that you can talk to a being that is all powerful and merciful is a great form of stress relief.

9. Delegating work allows you to manage your ever increasing workload concentrating on the most important tasks at hand. Delegation increases the responsibility and enjoyment of those under you as they take on new tasks.

10. Regular physical exercise such as going to the gym, for a run or playing a competitive sport, can become an outlet that allows you focus on an enjoyable activity while literally forgetting about the stressful events that occurred during your day.

11. Try Tai Chi. It is not just a series of physical movements which is beneficial to the body, but is also made up of meditative and deep breathing exercises which provides a calming effect and better sense of well being.

12. Increase your energy levels with Yoga. Yoga is specifically designed not only to help you become strong physically but also energize your body by focusing on the ‘prana’ entering your energy centers while holding specific physical positions.

13. Develop a balanced life style that focuses on all aspects of your life, including you work/studies, your family and relationships, your social life, your interests, your spiritual needs and most importantly you.

14. Manage your time carefully. List all the main tasks you need to achieve at the start of each day. Eliminate any activities that are considered wasteful and non productive. Become more efficient in the regular tasks you attend to each day.

15. Maintain a healthy nutritious diet. Eat more fresh fruit, whole grains, vegetables, lean meat and fish, and less fat, salt, sugar and alcohol. This will enhance your immune system and keep your energy levels high.

16. Control your finances. Financial worries can add to your stress levels. In essence you must spend less and save more. Set a budget and record everything you spend. If you need help seek expert financial advice.

17. Smile especially when you are feeling angry or stressed. Research has shown that smiling can actually help you feel happier, lower your heart rate and produce a calmer breathing pattern.

18. Try Pilates, a non-aerobic form of exercise which improves flexibility, strength and balance requiring concentration and focus. It offers the same benefits if not more than just stretching and physical exercise alone.

19. Learn Chi Kung, a health exercise which regulates the flow of Chi through the acupuncture meridians. Based on Traditional Chinese Medicine theory, Chi Kung is excellent for quieting your mind and regulating your breathing.

20. Learn a martial art. Physically this will improve your co-ordination, flexibility, strength and general endurance. It will not only teach you concentration and focus, but more importantly you will learn how to defend yourself.

David Tomaselli is the creator of Stress Management Techniques and Self Improvement – The Wholistic Development Exchange. The aim of the Wholistic Development Exchange is to empower you to deal with stress, pressure and the day to day challenges that life brings by providing you the latest Tips, Techniques, Articles, News, E-Books, Products and other Resources related to Stress Management and Self Improvement.
To download free E-Books go to our Free Stress Management E-Books section.
For all 101 Stress Management Tips go to Stress Management Tips.

Career Advice: Three Secrets to Telling Your Story for Career and Life Success

2006-12-10T08:23:00.000-08:00

The following are three secrets to putting you on the fast track to career and job advancement:

When was the last time you received a job promotion? You are doing a great job at work but everyone else seems to get the promotion you want. You may even start making excuses as to why you are not getting the career promotions you deserve. Well, I ask you the following question:

Did you ever tell your story?

The following career advice story will show you how to put your career on the fast track:

Recently, I was facilitating an oceanfront retreat for over two hundred employees of a university. During this session, I had the participants think of something or somebody they appreciate. I then asked for volunteers to share with the group whom or what they appreciate and why this is important to them.

Lonnie volunteered and stood up in front of the group to share his thoughts of appreciation. Lonnie explained that in his job he helps children improve their lives. He mentioned that whatever the lowest pay and title scale was, he was at that level. However, he said that was all right because of the joy he received from helping the children. You could hear and sense the passion in his words as he shared his experiences with the audience.

About a month later, Lonnie was in another workshop I was facilitating, and he asked to speak with me before the start of the session. I could see the excitement in his eyes as he explained what had happened to him since the oceanfront retreat. One week after sharing his story at the retreat, he received a call from the Office of Academic Affairs. Someone of influence, who was impressed with Lonnie’s speech and the way he told his story that day, wanted Lonnie to come in for a job interview. Lonnie went to the interview and received the job of Assistant to the Dean of Academic Affairs, with a substantial increase in pay and title. That was a career quantum leap from just a couple of weeks earlier.

So what happened?

Lonnie told his story for career success. Like so many of you, you are toiling away in your careers everyday and making a difference for your organization. But if no one knows about your successes, your passions, and your ideas, you will not achieve job and career success.

The following are three secrets to putting you on the fast track to career and job advancement:

1. It’s Not What You Know... - I’m sure you have heard the old saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” when talking about getting ahead in life. Well, in this new age of information and self responsibility, I am declaring that this saying is dead. Instead, I always say the following:

“It’s not what you know. It’s not who you know. It’s who knows what you know that creates success for you.”

There are people doing a great job everyday. There are people everyday that know people of influence. Yet, unless these people of influence know what you know (your skills, your knowledge, your ideas), you won’t be put in a position for success. Lonnie, during his two-minute presentation, let people of influence know that he was passionate about helping children at his job and he was willing to do it for little compensation. That’s a powerful message. It moved people to help him and make him a part of their team.

2. Prepare Yourself for Powerful Story Telling – When the opportunity comes to tell your story, will you be prepared? Lonnie was prepared and made the most of his opportunity. However, I have seen many opportunities vanish for a person to tell his/her story because of the fear of speaking in front of a group or in a meeting. Whether it’s in a job interview, monthly meeting, or at a conference, have the confidence to tell your story. You may never get another opportunity to do so. Have the courage to work on your presentation skills. There are various resources for improving your presentation skills. You can take a class, join Toastmasters, or hire a presentation skills coach.

Also, outline what you will tell in your story. Think of your successes and how you achieved those successes. Thinks of the challenges you faced and how you overcame them. Express the joy you felt while achieving your goals. Relate how your activities helped you develop your skills, your creativity, and your determination. Let your passion show in your story.

3. Create Opportunities to Tell Your Story – When Lonnie volunteered, he created an opportunity to tell his story. How can you create opportunities to tell your story? You can volunteer for job-related assignments and give reports during management briefings. You can be active in workshops or seminars and tell your story among a variety of people that normally might not be exposed to your story. Join various associations and groups and tell your story. This is a great way to network among people who are active in their industries. Contribute your story to your in-house publication, local newspaper, or magazine. Create a blog or website and tell your story. The more you tell your story to a wide variety of people, the greater the opportunity to increase your success. Apply these powerful career advice secrets and put your career advancement on the fast track. Tell your story and others will sit up and take notice.

The Real Way to Peace

2006-12-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

Use the past as a warning of how our current civilizations could destroy the environment of the future!

First a recipe:

If you want to make homemade turtle soup, you have to be careful and you must wait. You’d want to catch a sea turtle because you get thirty or more pounds of meat from it – depending on weight. You need help too. A couple of men would do, to place the turtle inside a garbage barrel filled with fresh water. Close the lid and leave it there to starve. It sounds brutal, I know, but there’s no other way to do it if you want to have homemade turtle soup. Sea turtles can live up to a hundred years, so it takes a while for them to die. If someone tried to slaughter them, they’d release a poison into their system that would kill anyone who ate from it. One must therefore keep the area surrounding the garbage barrel quiet so the turtle doesn’t think it has been caught by anyone but itself. Turtles, unlike elephants, have a bad memory and will forget they were trapped.

For animal lovers, don’t feel so bad. People trap each other like that and call it love.

Elephants, on the other hand, don’t forget. If someone tried to hurt them, they come back in a hundred years to step on them.

People avenge each other like that and call it justice.

Yet as Daniel Quinn writes in Ishmael, people consider themselves superior to animals – even though there are three things that people do that never happen in the wild.

1. People exterminate their competitors. In the wild, animals will defend their territories and hunt to eat, not just make their competitor dead.

2. People systematically destroy their competitors’ food to make room for their own. In the wild, the rule is: take what you need, and leave the rest alone.

3. People deny their competitors access to food. In the wild, you may deny your competitors access to what you’re eating, but you may not deny them access to food in general. In other words, you may compete but you may not wage war.

The problem stems from people clinging to the specialness of man. They perceive a vast gulf between them and the rest of creation. This mythology of human superiority justifies their doing whatever they please with the world. Of playing God, the Creator.

Man throws paint on walls and calls it a creation. It’s not creation. It’s paint on a wall. It’s a form of something appealing to the eye. Writers don’t create. They formulate words. They aren’t creators. They’re compositors. Man is a recipient of creation.

To make something one needs two or three things. Only God made something from nothing. He made people in diversity. He made water, fire, life and death.

First mixture man made was killing. Man in general hurts himself everyday by saying, “I created this and that.”

But we’re not God, the Creator. We’re man and woman, human beings, creatures. Yet, we’re afraid of letting go of, or looking at the terrible price of advancement which is crime, mental illness, suicide, and drug addiction.

You see, the largest beast on earth is man without God. By making havoc, weapons and bombs, he made a dark void for humans. No other beast on earth has done more damage and yet man calls everything else a beast – rattle snakes, lions, alligators, tigers. Everything.

What’s the solution? The real way to peace? Well, presently the world’s governments spend about one trillion dollars a year for military purposes. That’s a million dollars a minute worldwide. If we were to use some of this money to feed our hungry, clothe our needy, house our poor, bring security to our elderly, and provide health care and dignity to all… the causes of crime would be lost forever. New jobs would spread as dollars are pumped back into our economy.

Let’s use the past as a warning of how our current civilizations could destroy the environment of the future. Civilization was born in ancient Mesopotamia, now called Iraq, over 5000 years ago. Writing, astronomy and science were invented there. Yet today, Mesopotamia, the biblical Garden of Eden, is a flat desert – thanks to inflation, overuse of agricultural land, and enemy invasions. How can we prevent further catastrophe? By making peace a personal thing.

International Classification of Diseases (ICD) 10

2006-12-07T13:34:00.001-08:00

The International Classification of Diseases (ICD) is published by the World Health Organization in Geneva, Switzerland. It included mental health disorders for the first time in 1948, in its sixth edition. In 1959, following widespread criticism of its classificatory scheme, the WHO commissioned a global survey of taxonomies of mental health problems, which was conducted by Stengel. The survey uncovered great disparities and substantial disagreements as to what constituted mental illness and how it should be diagnosed (diagnostic criteria and differential diagnoses). Yet, it was not until 1968 that Stengel's recommendations were implemented in the eighth edition. The ICD-8 was descriptive and operational and did not commit itself to any theory of etiology, pathogenesis, or psychological dynamics. Still, it sported a confusing plethora of categories and allowed for rampant comorbidity (multiple diagnoses in the same patient).

The ICD10 was revolutionary. It incorporated the outcomes of numerous collaborative studies and programmes, both national and international and included input from the American Psychiatric Association, the publisher of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), the ICD's equivalent in North America). Consequently, the ICD and the DSM are now broadly similar.But, as opposed to the DSM, the ICD provides two sets of diagnostic criteria for each disorder. One list is useful to the diagnostician and allows for some latitude and for the practitioner's exercise of judgment. The other set is far more precise and strict and intended to be used by scholars and researchers in their studies. Yet a third, simplified classification is applicable to primary care settings and contains only broad categories (dementia, eating disorder, psychotic disorder, and so on).The ICD10 discusses organic, substance use-related, and stress-related disorders separately. Chapter F, which deals with mental health disorders, is divided into ten groups and each group, in turn, is again divided into one hundred subunits. Thus F2 is Schizophrenia, F25 is Schizoaffective Disorder, and F25.1 is Schizoaffective Disorder, depressive type.An international study carried out in 112 clinical centers in 39 countries demonstrated that the ICD10 is not a reliable diagnostic tool as far as personality disorder go (Sartorius et al. 1993). These findings were not repeated a year later in the USA and Canada.

Read more about the DSM - click HERE!The Myth of Mental Illness - click HERE!Personality Disorders - click HERE!

Psychosexual Stages of Personal Development

2006-12-05T16:25:00.001-08:00

The pursuit of pleasure ("the pleasure principle") and the avoidance of pain drive the infant to explore his or her self and the world at large.

The Viennese neurologist, Sigmund Freud, was among the first to offer a model of psychological development in early childhood (within the framework of psychoanalysis). He closely linked the sex drive (libido) to the formation of personality and described five psychosexual stages, four of which are centered around various erogenous zones in the body.The pursuit of pleasure ("the pleasure principle") and the avoidance of pain drive the infant to explore his or her self and the world at large. Pleasure is inextricably linked to sexual gratification. In the oral phase (from birth to 24 months), the baby focuses on the tongue, lips, and mouth and derives gratification from breast feeding, thumb sucking, biting, swallowing, and other oral exploratory activities.This is naturally followed by the anal stage (24 to 36 months). The baby immensely enjoys defecation and related bowel movements. But it is also the first time in his or her life that the toddler is subjected to the censure and displeasure of caretakers. Hitherto unconditionally adoring adults now demand that the infant delay gratification, relieve himself only in the bathroom, and not play with his feces. This experience - of hitherto unprecedented adult approbation - can be traumatic.

The phallic stage (age 3 to 6 years) involves the discovery of the penis and clitoris as foci of pleasurable experience. This tantalizing novelty is coupled with sexual desire directed at the parent of the opposite sex (boys are attracted to their mothers and girls, to their fathers). The child overtly and covertly competes with the same-sex parent for the desired parent's attention: boys joust with their fathers and girls with their mothers. These are the famous Oedipal and Electra complexes. If the parent is insufficiently mature or narcissistic and encourages the attentions of the child in acts of covert (emotional) and overt (physical) incest, it could lead to the development of certain mental health disorders, among them the Histrionic, Narcissistic, and Borderline personality disorders. Doting, over-indulgence, and smothering are, therefore, forms of child abuse. Sexual innuendo, treating the child as an adult or substitute partner, or regarding one's offspring as an extension of one's self also constitute abusive conduct.The phallic stage is followed by 6 to 7 years of latent sexuality that is rekindled in puberty. Adolescence is a period of personal development labeled by Freud the genital phase. In the previous rungs of psychosexual evolution, the child's own body was the source of sexual pleasure. Hitherto, the adolescent and young adult seeks sexual gratification from and invests sexual energy in others. This object-relatedness is what we call mature love.

Also read these:The Pathology of Love - click HERE!

In Defense of Psychoanalysis - click HERE!On Incest - click HERE!

ABC's of Success: Making Your Dream Come True

2006-12-04T18:04:00.001-08:00

"To follow without halt, one aim; there is the secret of success. And success? What is it? I do not find it in the applause of the theater; it lies rather in the satisfaction of accomplishment." (Anna Pavlova)

Any success in life involves a blending of mind and heart with action. Only by committing our intellect, will, time, and energy can we achieve that Olympic gold, that certificate of appreciation, or that "A" on a spelling test.

When we look at high achievers in any field or endeavor, we see common elements. Whether we want to follow their lead and go for the gold or whether we want to set less ambitious goals or none at all, the model is there and the decision is ours.

The ABC's of winning:

A: An accomplishment or goal. We conceptualize an achievement, such as running a three-minute mile, winning an election, or losing 20 pounds of excess body fat.

B: Belief in the goal. We recognize our objective as achievable, that is, within human grasp. Playing Rachmaninoff's concerto or growing a 1000-pound pumpkin must be, for us, a real possibility.

C: Confidence in our ability to achieve the goal. Believing we can succeed builds gradually from birth. When even our minor accomplishments are recognized, approved, and rewarded by those significant in our lives, our self-confidence grows. We internalize their views and feelings; and when these positive self-images combine with an inherent talent, accomplishment is unlimited:

"When I was a child, my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."

Believing in, first, the achievability of a goal and, second, our ability to reach the goal, sets the stage for action and becomes for us a self-fulfilling prophecy:

"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right." (attributed to both Henry Ford and Mary Kay Ash)

D: Defining the goal as worthy of pursuit and deciding to work for it. At this point our values enter the picture. Is it more important to become a firefighter or an American Idol? Our value system shapes our personal decisions about what is and what is not worth pursuing.

Kaitlyn, six years of age and in the first grade, outdistances her peers on the track. Her red shoe markers--earned for every five miles completed--are multiplying quickly. Will she see her newly-discovered ability as worthy of her passion and dedication? Will she choose to devote time and energy to pursuing track records or other unrelated accomplishments? What she deems worthy will direct her decision.

E: Setting an effective step-by-step action plan and exerting effective effort. The stories of the most accomplished persons illustrate the time and energy needed to perfect a golf swing or become a prima ballerina. "Practice makes perfect," our mothers told us. Vince Lombardi put it this way:

"Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work" (Vince Lombardi)

Sustained effort requires a passion and zeal truly our own. What once may have been the dream of others for us, translates into accomplishment only when the burning desire becomes lodged deep in our heart.

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." (Arnold H. Glasow)

F: Following through with constancy of purpose and dedication and allowing failures to be only temporary setbacks. Tenacity and persistence are messages many children hear around the dinner table and on the playing field: "The Connollys don't quit," "Don't give up, and don't give in." or "Quitters never win, and winners never quit."

Success, thus, means following the lead set by exemplars of excellence. First, look carefully at your interests and find something you are passionate about. Look realistically at the skills you currently possess as well as your potential. Rather than a headlong, helter-skelter dash, set a plan and bolster your self-confidence by focusing on minor accomplishments. Don't be surprised by setbacks, and don't be fearful of them. Detours on the road to success are only temporary glitches. Work through them and keep your eyes on the ultimate goal. Follow the roadmap you have set and visualize success while you enthusiastically devote time and effort. Enlist the aid and support of family and friends. Telling them about your plans can help keep you on track. In addition to the emotional support, you may need their support in other ways. And, most importantly, never give up.

A Proven Set of Principles to Guide You in the New Year

2006-12-04T02:36:00.000-08:00

How many of us have set New Year’s resolutions or goals for our lives that all too quickly are forgotten or put aside until the next year? The following set of principles will help you achieve your New Year’s resolutions and much more. Read them over carefully. Challenge them, as at first reading you may not fully understand or agree with some of them. Now, or on January 1, select one of these principles and put it into action for a full week. Notice how things in your life improve and move you closer to achieving your desires. At the end of each week focus on a new principle until all seven are a way of life for you.

1. There is no failure, only feedback.

Have you ever done something that didn’t work out the way you had planned? How often have you interpreted this as failure and possibly beat yourself up or blamed others? Far too many of us have been trained to judge our results as either success or failure. How would your life change if you viewed failure simply as feedback – an opportunity to learn how not to do something and become flexible in developing new ways to achieve your intended outcome? The next time something does not unfold as planned accept it as feedback, get curious and ask yourself questions such as, “What do I need to learn about myself, others, my work or family environment, so that if a similar situation were to occur in the future, I can get a better result?”

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

Thomas Alva Edison, scientist and inventor

How different would your workplace be if failure were viewed as feedback? Would you, and others, be more inclined to explore new ways to get your work done more efficiently and effectively, with more fun?

2. You cannot not communicate.

Often we think we communicate only when we speak or write. This is not so. Consider the following situations: 1. You are in a staff meeting sitting off to one side, with your arms folded and an angry look on your face, and not participating in the discussion at all. 2. You have chosen not to respond to telephone and e-mail messages in a timely fashion, or at all. Even no communication sends a message, and it is often not a positive one. Who are you really hurting?

Through your tone of voice, actions, facial expressions, gestures and body language, you are always communicating. Take time to step back and see the impact of your actions on the larger system. Is this really the impression you wish to create or the message you wish to convey?

3. Be flexible – If what you are doing is not creating the results you desire, do something different.

Have you ever been stuck in life, doing the same things repeatedly and each time expecting to get a different result? This is the widely known definition of insanity. If you want your life to be different, doing the same things more often, harder, or louder is not the way to change it. You must choose to do something different. If you try one key in a lock and it doesn’t fit, would you keep trying the same key repeatedly? Or would you be flexible and try other keys until you find the one that works?

It is the same for your life. Be flexible; explore different behaviors and strategies to unlock what you truly want in life or who you are destined to be.

If you are a parent, consider the following: There are no resistant children, only inflexible adults.

4. The meaning of communication is the response it produces.

Your intended communication is not always what is understood by the other person. And what is more important – your intention or what is understood? It does not matter what your intention is, what matters are the results you generate from your words, tone of voice, facial expressions and body language. By taking the other person’s response as feedback and being flexible, you can change how you communicate until you achieve your desired result.

Consider the following situation: as a man, I notice a female coworker is wearing a new dress, so I decide to pay her a compliment (my sincere intention). I say to her, “My, you look terrific in that dress.” However, her reaction isn’t what I expected. She seems annoyed and leaves the room. I do not know what is going on in her mind, but obviously she heard my message very differently from what I had intended. Perhaps from her experiences and beliefs, she interpreted what I said as “hitting on her” or being suggestive. The next time I see her, I can continue with the same behavior, or simply ignore her and harbor all manner of bad thoughts about her. Or I can recognize that my remark did not produce the result I had intended and find different ways to communicate with her so that we can have a productive working relationship.

5. Every behavior has a positive intention.

No matter how strange, hurtful or inappropriate a person’s behavior may seem to you, for the person engaging in that behavior, it makes sense from their perspective – their beliefs and values – and is predicated upon satisfying a positive intention for them.

The key is to appreciate that there is a positive intention behind the other person’s behavior – for them, maybe not for you. This does not mean that you must view the other person’s behavior as positive or acceptable. On the contrary, you may find it quite distasteful. You need to look behind the behavior to discover the positive intention or, if it’s not apparent, look for an intention that makes sense in their reality. This intention may be for themselves, for you or for someone else. Once you have an understanding of their intention, you can explore alternative ways to help the person achieve it.

As an example, let’s say you are having a discussion with someone and he suddenly raises his voice, knocks things off the table and runs from the room. From your perspective, this certainly cannot be viewed as positive behavior. What could possibly be the positive intention behind this kind of behavior? Now look at it from the other person’s perspective. Given his background – his experiences, beliefs and values – perhaps he felt unsafe or overwhelmed in the conversation with you. Given the resources he had available at that moment, this may have been the only option he felt he had in order to create some space or to flee to a place of greater safety.

What can you do to avoid a similar result next time? You can accept what happened as feedback, respect his perspective, explore the possible positive intentions behind his behavior and look at other ways to achieve your outcome while satisfying his positive intention. In other words, be flexible.

It is useful to take stock of your own behaviors on a regular basis. Notice the results you are achieving, identify the positive intention behind these behaviors and ask, “Is there a better way to achieve my positive intention that minimizes the negative side-effects?”

6. Everyone does the best they can with the resources available to them.

People already have the resources they need to succeed. However, their perspective of the world (beliefs, values and limiting constraints) or temporary state of mind (overwhelmed, sad or angry) may prevent them from seeing what is really possible or prevent them from fully accessing their capabilities and resources. In these situations, a person may make decisions or take actions that, from another viewpoint, are much less than they are capable of and that may even be experienced as hurtful.

With hindsight, that person could have done many things differently, but it was deemed the best choice at the time. We do not always make the “right” decision or take the “right” action; simply, decisions and actions are taken based on what resources we have available to us at the time.

7. You are in charge of your mind and therefore your results.

It was you who chose the beliefs, values and decisions that determine your perspective of the world and how you experience different events. It is also you who can change these to gain a different perspective and thus reap the benefits of results that are potentially very different, brining significant changes to your life.

In conclusion

You can simply read the above principles or you can begin to put them into action and make them a way of life. In doing so, you have the opportunity to change your reality, your results and your life!

Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder

2006-12-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

Some people are perennial pessimists and have "negative energy" and negativistic attitudes ("good things don't last", "it doesn't pay to be good", "the future is behind me").

The Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder is not yet recognized by the DSM Committee. It makes its appearances in Appendix B of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, titled "Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for Further Study."Some people are perennial pessimists and have "negative energy" and negativistic attitudes ("good things don't last", "it doesn't pay to be good", "the future is behind me"). Not only do they disparage the efforts of others, but they make it a point to resist demands to perform in workplace and social settings and to frustrate people's expectations and requests, however reasonable and minimal they may be. Such persons regard every requirement and assigned task as impositions, reject authority, resent authority figures (boss, teacher, parent-like spouse), feel shackled and enslaved by commitment, and oppose relationships that bind them in any manner.

Passive-aggressiveness wears a multitudes of guises: procrastination, malingering, perfectionism, forgetfulness, neglect, truancy, intentional inefficiency, stubbornness, and outright sabotage. This repeated and advertent misconduct has far reaching effects. Consider the Negativist in the workplace: he or she invests time and efforts in obstructing their own chores and in undermining relationships. But, these self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors wreak havoc throughout the workshop or the office. People diagnosed with the Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder resemble narcissists in some important respects. Despite the obstructive role they play, passive-aggressives feel unappreciated, underpaid, cheated, and misunderstood. They chronically complain, whine, carp, and criticize. They blame their failures and defeats on others, posing as martyrs and victims of a corrupt, inefficient, and heartless system (in other words, they have alloplastic defenses and an external locus of control). Passive-aggressives sulk and give the "silent treatment" in reaction to real or imagined slights. They suffer from ideas of reference (believe that they are the butt of derision, contempt, and condemnation) and are mildly paranoid (the world is out to get them, which explains their personal misfortune). In the words of the DSM: "They may be sullen, irritable, impatient, argumentative, cynical, skeptical and contrary." They are also hostile, explosive, lack impulse control, and, sometimes, reckless. Inevitably, passive-aggressives are envious of the fortunate, the successful, the famous, their superiors, those in favor, and the happy. They vent this venomous jealousy openly and defiantly whenever given the opportunity. But, deep at heart, passive-aggressives are craven. When reprimanded, they immediately revert to begging forgiveness, kowtowing, maudlin protestations, turning on their charm, and promising to behave and perform better in the future.

Also read these:Anger - The Source of Personality Disorders - click HERE!The Intermittent Explosive Narcissist - click HERE!

Therapy and Treatment of Personality Disorders

2006-12-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

Disillusioned, most therapists now adhere to one or more of three modern methods: Brief Therapies, the Common Factors approach, and Eclectic techniques.

The dogmatic schools of psychotherapy (such as psychoanalysis, psychodynamic therapies, and behaviorism) more or less failed in ameliorating, let alone curing or healing personality disorders. Disillusioned, most therapists now adhere to one or more of three modern methods: Brief Therapies, the Common Factors approach, and Eclectic techniques.

Conventionally, brief therapies, as their name implies, are short-term but effective. They involve a few rigidly structured sessions, directed by the therapist. The patient is expected to be active and responsive. Both parties sign a therapeutic contract (or alliance) in which they define the goals of the therapy and, consequently, its themes. As opposed to earlier treatment modalities, brief therapies actually encourage anxiety because they believe that it has a catalytic and cathartic effect on the patient. Supporters of the Common Factors approach point out that all psychotherapies are more or less equally efficient (or rather similarly inefficient) in treating personality disorders. As Garfield noted in 1957, the first step perforce involves a voluntary action: the subject seeks help because he or she experiences intolerable discomfort, ego-dystony, dysphoria, and dysfunction. This act is the first and indispensable factor associated with all therapeutic encounters, regardless of their origins.

Another common factor is the fact that all talk therapies revolve around disclosure and confidences. The patient confesses his or her problems, burdens, worries, anxieties, fears, wishes, intrusive thoughts, compulsions, difficulties, failures, delusions, and, generally invites the therapist into the recesses of his or her innermost mental landscape. The therapist leverages this torrent of data and elaborates on it through a series of attentive comments and probing, thought-provoking queries and insights. This pattern of give and take should, in time, yield a relationship between patient and healer, based on mutual trust and respect. To many patients this may well be the first healthy relationship they experience and a model to build on in the future.

Good therapy empowers the client and enhances her ability to properly gauge reality (her reality test). It amount to a comprehensive rethink of oneself and one's life. With perspective comes a stable sense of self-worth, well-being, and competence (self-confidence). In 1961, a scholar, Frank made a list of the important elements in all psychotherapies regardless of their intellectual provenance and technique:

1. The therapist should be trustworthy, competent, and caring.

2. The therapist should facilitate behavioral modification in the patient by fostering hope and "stimulating emotional arousal" (as Millon puts it). In other words, the patient should be re-introduced to his repressed or stunted emotions and thereby undergo a "corrective emotional experience."

3. The therapist should help the patient develop insight about herself - a new way of looking at herself and her world and of understanding who she is.

4. All therapies must weather the inevitable crises and demoralization that accompany the process of confronting oneself and one's shortcomings. Loss of self-esteem and devastating feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, hopelessness, alienation, and even despair are an integral, productive, and important part of the sessions if handled properly and competently.

Learn more about psychoanalysis - click HERE!

Read more about treatment modalities and therapies - click HERE!

Using Self Motivation Techniques To Keep Your Goals In Focus

2006-12-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

Self motivation is essential to success but sometimes it is difficult to maintain. If our self motivation lapses, it is a struggle to restore it. To avoid this unnecessary struggle, we can use tricks and rewards to maintain the positive mental attitude that will enable us to forge ahead towards our goals.
No matter what goal you are aiming for, staying motivated is a challenge for everyone at times. Even though you have set those goals for yourself, it will be hard to stay focused at times. Using self motivation techniques is a great way to ensure that you stay positive and have the mental attitude needed to achieve your goals. One of the best things that you can do is to map out a plan detailing your goal and the steps that you will take to achieve your dreams. It is also a good idea to regularly reassess your plan and make sure that you still feel that your original strategy is the best one. There is nothing wrong with changing your plan if you feel that changes will improve it, the plan is not carved in stone and should always be considered as a flexible tool. Life is full of unexpected surprises and this can mean your initial steps will no longer lead you to where you want to arrive, you can change your written plan to take any surprise changes into account.

Making your written plan is the first step. After that, you might find that you still need sources of inspiration and encouragement. Self motivation techniques such as breaking your plan into small tasks that you can achieve daily will help give you a sense of accomplishment as each task is finished. This is a great technique and will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed or feeling that your goal is too hard for you to accomplish. Remember, the way to eat a whole elephant is one bite at a time. Make a written list of tasks for each day and cross them off one by one as you complete them. Each time you cross off a completed item, your spirits will get a boost that will encourage you to tack the next task on your list.

Rewarding yourself after you complete your tasks will also help keep you feeling mentally positive and optimistic. The reward can be anything, eg a coffee break or ten minutes to chat to a friend on the phone. The reward doesn't need to be anything big but, by giving yourself an incentive, you will have something to help motivate you to take the next step towards reaching your goal.

Procrastination is called "the thief of time" for very good reasons. Procrastination is an easy habit to adopt and a very hard one to break, so it is best to have a scheme in place to avoid it all together. Avoiding procrastination is one of the simplest and biggest ways that you can increase your motivation and remain focused on taking the necessary small steps towards achieving your goals.

Making written lists (and following them!) is an excellent way to avoid procrastination. Try taking your yearly goals and breaking them down into manageable monthly chunks. Next break the monthly lists down further into weekly parts. Finally make daily lists that involve small steps towards your yearly goals. By working on your yearly goals in this step by step fashion, you will reduce the opportunities for being tempted to procrastinate. Once you get into the habit of following your daily task list, the temptation to put things off will be overridden by the desire to see all the items crossed through by the end of your working day.

When you finish your daily tasks, be sure to reward yourself. If you finish earlier than normal, award yourself some extra time off to spend as you please. If you are keeping to your step by step plan, there is no need to put in extra hours. The days of procrastinating and then needing to work longer hours will be over. List making sounds simple (and it is) but it is a powerful way to keep yourself on track day by day to accomplish your ultimate goals.

What You Condemn Or Admire In Others Talks About You

2006-12-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

What you don’t have inside yourself, you can not see in others! The human psyche seems to have a pendant for projecting our shortcomings onto others, but also our good traits. Without the other we would not be able to know the self : they are our mirrors.
The human psyche seems to have a pendant for projecting our shortcomings onto others, but also our good traits. Without the other we would not be able to know the self: they are our mirrors. If you want to know whether your hair looks great or if your new coat suits you, you take a look in the mirror, don’t you? You need that mirror to be able to look at your outer appearance. The same counts for your inner world. If you want to have a look at yourself inside, look into the mirror, which is other people : the traits you hate in them and the ones you love in them. This tells more about you than you think! In fact, you hate and love those traits which you pushed away into your shadow zone, which you decided you don’t want to see (the negative traits you condamned as “bad” or “no good”), or those which you decided you don’t have (the positive traits, which you call “good” and which you would like to have but you think you don’t have them). In order to see inside yourself, look at what disturbs you in others and what you admire in others. All these traits are energies you pushed away and which you need to recover. That’s why this bothers or attracts you now in your life. What we condemn or detest in others are our own qualities that we don’t want to face, but that we should be working at. This is called the negative projection. What you don’t like in others, or even hate, is a part of yourself. When the indifference of another person disturbs you, it means that you should be more indifferent yourself and stop to invest yourself for 100% everywhere and with everyone! This doesn’t mean you have to become as indifferent, cold and distant as the other person, but that you should reintegrate a part of this energy in your own behavior, and become a little less involved in what you do. Too much involvment can hurt you. You need to learn in this case to take more care of yourself instead of being so focused on the other one. If you are balanced on this polarity of indifference (one extreme) and too much involvment (the other extreme), than the indifference of the other won't bother you anymore. This counts for every trait that bothers you in others! You should integrate the energy of this trait in your energy field. This means to become a little bit more like the other (in this exemple : indifferent) and become the opposite to yourself (more involved in your own well being). When you start to integrate the behavior that disturbs you in others, you will notice that this behavior doesn’t disturb you anymore. You simply don’t notice it anymore. You have integrated this energy, so now you become neutral towards this topic. When the aggressive behavior of a partner or colleagues is getting to you, then you may have to learn to say “no”, defend your ground and clearly mark the borders. The fact that somebody’s aggression disturbs you proves that you have hidden that energy away in your shadow side. You can reclaim that energy and develop it in other ways that support your balance in life. This counts for every behavior in others that disturbs you. This is the fastest way to grow and to keep up with others at the same time! On a scale of polarities, what you hate is the polarity you didn’t develop inside you and you should. Life showes you this in the behavior of the significant other. In stead of hating him or his behavior, observe, ask yourself what you have to learn, learn it, integrate (you become a better person, a whole, complete person) and the screen of life will show you a more balanced person! In the same way, the good traits you admire in others are your own qualities that you don’t know you have. You think you are lacking these talents and admire them thus in others. These qualities are present within yourself but they are “under construction” and also need developing. They are, however, a mirror image of your highest abilities. This is the positive projection. Think of a male person and a female person you admire, and who you know in real life. Make a list of the qualities and traits you admire in them. Then read this list again and say out loud in front of each quality : “I am…”. Let’s say you admire the elegance and the organizational skills of your best friend. This means you too have the capacity to organize your life and things and you too are beautiful, otherwise you would even not be able to see it in others! You do have the germ of these qualities inside, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to notice them. This list clearly represents who you are. This is the truth about you. These qualities are INSIDE of you. They are merely waiting to be discovered, expanded and expressed. You can do the same with people you don’t know personally, like movie stars, singers, historical figures, politicians, mythical figures, fairies….

List their qualities and read for yourself : “I am…” In the beginning you’re maybe sceptical, you won’t believe you possess yourself these qualities. But have a closer look and admit the possibility of having these qualities inside you in the form of seeds that need to be cultivated in order to blossom. What you don’t have inside yourself, you can not see in others!

Are You Willing To Follow Eight Yoga Exercises For the Lower Back?

2006-11-30T12:38:00.000-08:00

EXERCISES FOR BACK RELIEF

Many people believe that rest is best for a painful back, but actually, what your back really needs when it’s hurt is exercise. Regular exercise relieves back pain by strengthening and stretching the muscles that support the spine and helps to prevent future injury. This is a use it or lose it situation: the more you rest, the weaker your back gets, even if it is hurt. Studies have actually shown that you can heal your back pain faster and get back to your regular activities with just two days of rest. This article will focus on Yoga Exercises. Remember to contact your doctor before beginning any exercise program.

YOGA EXERCISES FOR YOUR BACK

A good, regular yoga practice will go far in relieving the stress and tension that sometimes cause mild back pain, and in fact, studies have shown that yoga is the number one most effective exercise for relieving back pain. However, not all yoga poses relieve back pain, and some can in fact aggravate existing pain, so it is important to know which poses will be most helpful in relieving back pain. It is best to do these exercises under the supervision of a certified yoga instructor, and if you encounter any problems with these poses, you should consult an expert. Even just one or two sessions with a yoga instructor can help, as an instructor will help you with your form and posture during poses. Here are some of the best yoga poses for relieving back pain. Each pose should be held from five to ten seconds, depending upon your level of comfort, and should be done on a mat or other soft, supportive surface.

CORPSE: Lie flat on your back in a relaxed position, arms resting at your sides, palms down, and legs lying naturally, with knees turned out slightly. If it hurts your back to have your knees turned outward, do this pose with knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Breathe in and out for a few seconds while allowing any tension to leave the body.

CAT STRETCH: Start out on your hands and knees with a flat back. Your hands should be directly under your shoulders with fingers spread. Knees should be directly under the hips. Head is held loosely so that you are looking at the floor between your hands. Inhale, and as you exhale, arch your back toward the ceiling, tuck your chin in to your chest so that you are looking at your navel, and tuck your tailbone underneath. Hold, then release back into your original position.

WIND-RELEASING POSE: Lie flat on your back as in Corpse pose. As you inhale, bend your knee, place your hands right below the knee, and draw your leg towards your chest. Your left leg should remain flat on the floor. Exhale and bring your forehead up to touch your knee. Inhale, and then as you exhale, return to your original position. Repeat with the other leg.

SAGE TWIST: Warning for this pose—it involves twisting your back, so you should take particular care not to twist too far or you risk aggravating any existing back pain. This should be a gentle stretch; twist just as far as is comfortable. Sit on the floor with both legs out in front of you. Bend your right knee, lift your right leg over your left, and place your right foot on the floor next to your left knee. Sitting with spine straight, place your left elbow on the right side of your right knee. Bend your left arm so that your left fingertips are touching your right hip, while at the same time, twisting to look over your right shoulder. This is where you need to be careful not to twist too far. Hold for a few seconds, release, and repeat on the opposite side.

PALM TREE: Stand with feet facing forward, arms at your sides, weight distributed evenly on both feet. Raise both arms over your head, interlock your fingers, and turn your hands so that your palms are facing upward. Next, place your palms on your head and turn your head so that you are looking slightly upward. Stretch your arms upwards, and at the same time, come up onto your toes if you can do so without pain. Stretch your entire body upward and hold, if you can. Some people have difficulty balancing during this pose, so just do the stretching part if you need to.

FISH POSE: Lie on your back with knees bent and arms at your side. Arch your back as far as you comfortably can and raise it off the ground by pushing the floor with your elbows. If you can, tilt your head backwards and rest the crown of your head on the floor. Breathe deeply from the diaphragm and hold pose for one minute if you can.

LOCUST: Lie face down with arms at the side, palms down, and elbows slightly bent with fingers pointing towards the feet. Raise your legs and thighs as high off the ground as possible without causing your back any pain. Hold for one second and repeat up to twelve times. This can be a vigorous exercise so you must take care to strain already injured muscles.

BENDING FORWARD POSTURE: Stand up straight with feet together and arms hanging loosely along your sides. Breathe in deeply and raise your arms straight above your head. While breathing out, bend forward and touch your toes if you can. If you can’t reach your toes, grab hold of your ankles or calves. To complete the pose, you should touch your head to your knees, but this may be too difficult for many who suffer from lower back pain. Your movements during this pose should be smooth, not jerky.

Written by Shelley Hitz, Licensed Physical Therapist and Certified NASM Personal Trainer. Sign up for her free Exercise Advice journal at http://www.abs-exercise-advice.com/journal.html or read more about yoga poses at her website http://www.abs-exercise-advice.com/free-yoga-exercises-online.html. Get your free unbelievable abs ball workout here!

Codeine Addiction: Relevant Facts

2006-11-30T02:39:00.000-08:00

Codeine addiction is a form of addiction that often sneaks up on the person involved in its use. This is because codeine is a medication that is prescribed to help alleviate pain. This makes it easy for a person who takes codeine to develop a codeine addiction, because he or she thinks codeine is the only way to cope with their pain. Eventualyy the mind shift is that it is OK to take it to prevent pain from happening whether needed or not.

Since it is easy to develop a codeine addiction when taking prescription codeine, it is important to follow the doctor’s directions closely. To avoid codeine addiction, make sure to only take the prescribed dosage and to only take the codeine for as long as it is prescribed. Prolonged use reduces it's effectiveness and thus means you have to start taking more and more. Failure to follow the doctor’s directions makes it more likely for a person to develop a codeine addiction.

Codeine addiction is potentially life threatening. Furthermore, codeine addiction drives a wedge between personal relationships, as it is difficult for loved ones to cope with someone suffering from codeine addiction if they are zoned out most of the time. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that a person with a codeine addiction receives help.

To get help for codeine addiction, the person coping with the codeine addiction needs to first accept that fact that he has a problem. Then they must be willing to get appropriate help and treatment for his addiction. Most research indicates that a three-month codeine addiction treatment program is ideal.

A critical phase of recovering from codeine addiction is physical detoxification. This is where the body readjusts to not having the drug in it's system. But, even more so, recovery from codeine addiction requires learning new skills. Sites, sounds, and certain situations can cause psychological stress for the person suffering from codeine addiction. These are called triggers and cues. Therefore, the person suffering from codeine addiction needs to anticipate and learn how to react when he encounters these triggers.

It is important for a person suffering from codeine addiction to seek professional help. Research has shown that a person who attempts to beat codeine addiction without professional help are less likely to be successful in recovery. This is because recovery from codeine addiction takes more than just will power. It also involves changing the way the brain works and learning new skills for coping with pain.

The author, Bill Urell, reviews only the best diet and fitness plans, tips, and articles that promote healthier lifestyles. Visit us and claim your FREE ebook, 101 Romantic Ideas as a welcome gift ==>http://www.online-weight-loss-resources.com

What is Emotional Intelligence

2006-11-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

Emotional Intelligence or commonly known as EQ is a relatively new field of psychology. Emotional intelligence means the ability for a person to access, influence and conclude our emotions and also the emotions of other people around us.

The term emotional intelligence was first made popular by Daniel Goldman with his book Emotional Intelligence and since then many researchers have began studies in this new field of psychology.

Emotional intelligence can be broken into 4 separate entities namely

1. Empathy : the ability for a person to be able to perceive the emotions of others around him/her and acknowledge those feelings.

2. Relationships : the ability for a person to be able to handle negotiations and mediations.

3. Self Awareness : the ability for a person to understand his/her own feelings, know what they means and acknowledging these feelings.

4. Handle Emotions : the ability for a person to manage and handle their own personal feelings responsibly and accurately depending on the situation.

Since everyone of us handle each emotion differently under different situations, it is also the reason why researchers are finding it difficult to measure emotional intelligence accurately.

Over the years, there are certain rules in emotional intelligence that seems to apply to the majority of us though. And we can train ourselves to be better equip to handle these emotions when it comes.

Unlike IQ where it is innate and some people are just born to be a genius. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed. In fact, emotions were not even implanted on us when we were still a baby or in the mother’s womb. It is through the interactions with our environment and the people that we developed these emotions.

Ricky Lim is the online editor of an emotional intelligence site. Visit his site today for more info on emotional intelligence techniques and emotional intelligence workshops.

Divining Your Life Path Number

2006-11-29T02:32:00.000-08:00

The Life Path is determined by the sum that is arrived at after reducing your birth date by adding digits together. This number represents the traits and talents that you were born with and the probable journey you will take during your lifetime. In a way it represents what path you will take regardless of your essence, which is represented by the calculation of the Soul Number. If you calculate your Soul Number (as taught in another New Age Notebook) you can contrast the two numbers to see what your unique challenges are in life.

First convert the month you were born in to a single number. Let's use Angelina Jolie who was born in June 4, 1975 as an example.

First convert the month to a single number or master number. Note that when calculating months, double digit months such as September, October November and December do not reduce down to a single digit. For example November, which is the 11th month, equates to the number 2 after you add 1+1 together.

Angelina Jolie's birthday does not reduce down to a single digit. Her birth month is the sixth month of the year. Her month number is 6.

Your next step is to convert your day of birth to a single digit. For instance, if you were born on the 17th then you would add 1 and 7 together to reduce the number to 8. If you were born on the 29th you would reduce to the master number 11. In that case, further reduce the number to 1.

Angelina Jolie's birthday does not have to be reduced as she was born on the 4th, so her number is 4.

Next, add the total digits of the birth year and reduce them to a single number. Jolie's birth year is 1975 so you would add 1+9+7+5 to arrive at a sum that represents the year number. In Jolie's case the year is the master number 22. This would be reduced to simply 2.

Now add the month sum, birth sum and year sum together. For Jolie it would be:

6+4+2 = 12

If you get a double digit, as is the case with Angelina Jolie, reduce the number down further.

1+2 =3

Angelina Jolie's Life Path number is a 3.

Reduce your own birthday down to a single number and then find the interpretation below that describes your journey. Those configurations that also result in a master number such as 11, 22 or 33 should read the life path prediction for that number as well. For instance if your birthday reduces to 22 and then down to a 4, then you should read the interoperations for both the numbers 4 and 22.

INTERPRETATIONS OF THE LIFE PATH NUMBER

Life Path Number 1

If you are a 1, you are motivated by a need for soul freedom and personal attainment. Your prime directive is to learn how to be independent from others in all ways, but especially emotionally and financially.

Number 1s often have the potential to be great leaders but the often abysmally fail when it comes to teamwork and cooperation. For this reason, they make great entrepreneurs, freelancers, generals, commanders, CEOs and producers.

Usually number 1's spend at least two thirds of their life trying to shake off the emotional and financial shackles imposed on them by others. They are usually self-made individuals who, like salmon swimming upstream, have to overcome great odds in order to succeed. They innovative and inventive personalities usually end up changing the world for the better in some way.

A person with a number 1 Life Path is usually blessed with motivation, enthusiasm, creativity and inspiration. They tend to be physically healthier and mentally stronger than most people are. Their good looks vitality and lust for life is a source of awe for others who often admire their stamina and ability to get their act together.

However sometimes a person traveling the number 1 Life path can be self-absorbed, pushy and overwhelming. Their aggression and ambition is often interpreted as hostility and selfishness. Most number 1's learn hard lessons about the value of good timing and tact during their life journey.

Many who try to have relationships with number 1s cannot stomach their driving ambition and social climbing, which is indicative of their lust for success (especially material) at any cost. They tend to see people as objects and are possessive, jealous and obsessive. They are also not beyond entertaining an infidelity that will advance their career.

Number 1s who stray from their paths often end up in clingy codependent relationships with mentally ill or addicted partners. If you are a number 1 and experiencing this kind of situation, it is a definite message that you are failing your life's purpose to become self-sufficient in life.

Life Path Number 2

Those following a number 2 Life Path tend to be diplomatic, sensitive individuals. As they have an inherent sense of morality and fairness, they tend to be indecisive as they can clearly see both sides of any conundrum or argument. They often make great judges, mediators, lawyers, counselors or social workers because they have an incredible talent for resolving disputes.

These loving, optimistic individuals prefer to see only the best in others. They are honest almost to the point of fault. They have high emotional quotients and thrive best in a work setting that requires teamwork. Number 2's are always respected for their politeness, tact and ability to inspire groups of people to perform acts of charity and philanthropy. Number 2's never "stoop to conquer" and consider themselves to be above arguing with others.

Number 2s function best in nine to five jobs where the routine is the same every day. Erratic behaviors, drama queens and overt displays of physical affection upset them.

These natural collectors are also pack rats and are the type to keep everything that they have owned since birth in the attic or basement. As they are also very sentimental and nostalgic, many of them collect antiques and photographs of loved ones.

As the life purpose of a number 2 is to bring harmony to group situations it is very important for them to get out and socialize. A number 2 that is isolating has strayed from his or her life path. Pessimism, lethargy and depression usually identify this. The best way for a number 2 to get back on the right path is to find a job that involves working with the general public or to find a way to practice acts of charity or philanthropy. Nothing corrects a number 2's karma more efficiently than acts of random kindness or volunteering for a hospital, school or shelter. In fact, that is how many of them meet their soul mates.

Life Path Number 3

Followers of Life Path number 3 are effervescent personalities whose journey often leads to artistic acclaim or social popularity. Number 3s are the entertainers of the world and most of them are truly gifted musicians, writers, actors, dancers, public speakers and politicians.

A number 3 is not fulfilled until there has been some public acknowledgement of his or her unique talent. The number 3 life path is one that is characterized by beauty, excitement, eccentricity and social popularity. These unique, expressive personalities often easily acquire, fame and glory.

This number is also usually blessed with a warm, charismatic personality and an incredible sense of personal faith and optimism. Their attractive physical appearance also often captures the imaginations of others and they make excellent muses and models.

Often a number 3 is also a witty or poetic individual who is an entertaining conversationalist. At the same time they are known for their understanding of human nature as well as their ability to really listen to others and truly comprehend their emotional needs.

Number 3's are also excellent chefs and hosts and boast exquisite taste in fashion and home decoration. They are often sought after socially as others find them physically as well as spiritually beautiful.

Usually a number 3 is quite stubborn and plays to win no matter how high the cost of success. Their unusual stamina and vigor makes it easier for them to rebound from setbacks in life than most people. Often these setbacks are of a financial or romantic nature as their idealism and spontaneity sometimes causes them to make bad choices.
However a number 3 is usually quite humble and very capable of being honest with themselves about their mistakes.

Number 3's stray off their life path by giving up their dreams and talents. Many escape into alcohol or drug abuse to avoid hearing the nagging voice of their constant inspiration. If you are a number 3 who is not finding themselves in the spotlight because of personal problems then this is a wake-up call to follow your heart's desire. Your exuberant nature can take you further than most people, especially if you give yourself permission to focus your energies and talents.

Life Path Number 4

Those following the Life Path of a number 4 often end up becoming the pillars of the community. These individuals are hard working, practical and trustworthy. They have the practical skills to bring dreams of others into reality.

However, self-sacrificing number 4's often demand too much both of themselves and others. For this reason many of them develop personal reputations as martyrs or tyrants. The will power and stubbornness of the number 4 can also be interpreted as greed and selfishness. This completely baffles the confused number 4 whose intentions are usually to benefit the good of all.

These sensitive individuals can also be very set in their ways and traumatized by any changes to their routines. It is difficult to ever convince a number 4 that he or she might be wrong, as they do not respond well to criticism. The tenacity and obsessive character traits of the number 4 often earn him or her the title of workaholic. Still many have profited from a number 4's devotion to performing thankless tasks and rigid sense of organization.

These loyal individuals make fantastic marriage and business partners. At first a number 4 can be very difficult to get to know because they usually play their cards very close to their chest. They don't believe that life is a popularity contest so they tend to make just a few close friends rather than sparkle in a crowd on the party circuit.

Dependable and predictable number 4's are associated with the earth element so they can have a very grounding influence on others. However their fear of talking can make them seem very uptight. They can also be so over focused on the tasks at hand that they miss big opportunities that come their way.

People following the number 4 life path are often learning lessons about letting go of emotional insecurity. Signs that a number 4 is straying off the path are hostility from others, jealousy, possessiveness and a life made leaden and heavy by a lack of sense of humor.

Sometimes a number 4's adherence to routine is obsessive to the point of being pathological. If you believe that changing your routine even in the slightest might destroy your business or happiness in one way then you may be a number 4 who is becoming paralyzed by insecurity. Your way back on the path would be to let loose a little and develop some flexibility and tolerance of others.

Life Path Number 5

Those traveling the number 5 Life Path are adventurous and highly inquisitive individuals who consider hands on experience to be the best teacher in life. Many of them are deeply intelligent, philosophical and spiritually minded. They love to theorize about the nature of existence. Despite their sometimes-spacey demeanor, many are sincere seekers of solutions to mankind's problems.

Number 5's abhor routine and daily chores. They are often excellent at initiating many projects, but rarely follow through on any of them. Number 5's are lousy at self-care and housework, preferring instead to follow their whims and impulses. For this reason, they do not thrive well in office environments.

Number 5's, however, can be great communicators and are excellent when it comes to the abstraction of any subject. For this reason they make great social anthropologists, archaeologists and historians. Some number 5's also make excellent teachers.

Usually at one point in their life, a number 5 experiences some kind of spiritual or emotional catharsis that causes them to trade in a standard career for a self-made profession such as an artist, investigator or journalist. Most number 5's are multi-talented but lack the discipline or desire to follow one path. For this reason, many number 5's end up leading chaotic and even catastrophic lives when it comes to finances.

Number 5's also hate to make plans and prefer to live in the present. Their happy-go-lucky attitudes demonstrate an incredible faith that the universe will take care of them. The opposite sex often finds their devil-may-care attitudes to be exciting and romantic, that is until they end up supporting a number 5 that lacks life-direction.

The number 5's lack of commitment also extends to personal relationships. They tend to be very self-absorbed and unaware of the effect of their actions on other people. There is also a tendency to place what others might interpret as the most important priority in life as last and the least important consideration first. As other people often feel tricked or fooled by number 5's, they tend to experience a series of broken relationships.

A sign that a number 5 has strayed completely off his or her life path would be an over emphasis on decadence or the demoralization of all those who encounter the individual. If you are a number 5 who is constantly encountering criticism, derision, dissonance and a lack of stability in your life, you have probably strayed from your life's purpose, which is to create a more generous and utopian future for others.

Life Path Number 6

Those following the number 6 Life Path are usually people-pleasers that have a great need to feel indispensable to others. For this reason many number 6's often dedicate their lives to being caregivers and service providers such a doctors, nurses, counselors, fire fighters and law keepers.

These self-less individuals believe that they should share the burdens of others as they proceed on their life's journey. They are usually mature souls who are not afraid to assume responsibility or take charge of difficult situations.

Number 6's usually feel a spiritual obligation to help others and do so by constantly displaying kindness, tenderness and compassion to all that they meet. As children, these natural born leaders usually display a wisdom, bravery and self-control that are far beyond their age.

Number 6's are also domestic creatures whose actions are often motivated by a love of children and family. It is rare for a number 6 to have money problems, unless the cause is assisting someone who is less unfortunate. They are also more likely to adopt a child or work in a capacity that involves coaching youth (such as a baseball team) than other numbers. They usually earn the unqualified respect of family and friends because of their willingness to carry more than their fair share of the load when it comes to interacting with the community.

Number 6's have very few negative qualities, except for a tendency to codependency. 6's that find himself or herself enslaved to an addicted or mentally ill partner might not be following their true path, as this is a sign that they have become enablers, rather than healers of the diseases. Their life purpose is to love and nurture all who they encounter, not just that one special exclusive someone.

Life Path Number 7

Those embarking on number 7 Life Paths are affectionate, peace-loving individuals who prefer rationality to inspiration. These reserved and analytical deep-thinkers make great mathematicians, engineers, inventors, scientists and doctors.

These intellectual and studious personalities often pursue advanced academic careers. As they love to read and absorb information, they usually require a great deal of private time to cultivate their knowledge. Number 7 children often excel at school and appear to be "old souls" for their age.

Number 7 s are perfectionists who prefer silence to music, noise and crowds. They are methodical and thorough analysts who believe that "if you can't do a job right, don't do it at all."

Suspicious 7's do not make friends easily. They despise the guile and manipulations associated with popular culture and dismiss all who do not pass their strict moral standards. 7's often appear very reserved and aloof to others and many find it takes some time to even get up the nerve to approach them. Once a 7 does make a friend, however, it is usually for life.

Although they are skeptical and analytical creatures, 7's do rely on their gut instincts more than they rely on statistics, public opinion polls or advice from others. As they dislike being manipulated, television or the media disgusts many.

These hermits enjoy being alone and far away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. For this reason, many of them prefer to live in the country where their nerves are not irritated by the hectic pace of urban life.

The shadow side of a 7 is a tendency to become pessimistic, overly logical, quarrelsome and pessimistic. Many 7s are brilliant and (perhaps deservedly so) feel that the world owes them a living. If you are a number 7 who can't seem to deal with people at all there is a chance that abrasive character traits that were formally considered eccentric have been demoted down to repulsive. A sign that a number 7 has strayed completely off of his or her life path is a complete withdrawal from society. In this case, the troubled 7 should try to recognize his or her original ambitions to improve the world through the application of wisdom.

Life Path Number 8

Followers of the number 8 Life Path are naturally lucky individuals whose soul purpose is to acquire material wealth. People on this path have relatively little time for dreams and visions, as they are busy applying their prodigal organizational abilities to the real world.

Number 8s are usually confident, charismatic individuals who are adept at spotting trends and opportunities. Usually their life purpose is learning to manipulate money and power without becoming corrupted in the process.

These social climbers will go to great lengths to meet the right person at the right time. Even if an 8 is from an unprivileged background, he or she will go to a lot of trouble to be seen at the right parties, wearing the right clothes and hobnobbing with the real players in the room. People who boast a "from rags to riches" history often are number 8's.

8's who use their natural luck for good are endowed with tremendous potential for practically improving the lives of thousands, perhaps millions of people. 8's are practical and steady in their pursuit of major objectives and their tenacity and determination allows them to beat their competition every time. Courageous number 8's also have an incredible capacity to "not sweat the small stuff" and often beat out their competitors simply through sheer endurance or fortitude.

Some 8's take a shadowy diversion from their truth path by expressing greed, lust and unbridled ambition. They can be tyrants on the job and seem cold and heartless at home. They should avoid discounting the opinions of others, especially when it comes to emotional relationships.

Sometimes the pursuit of riches becomes more important than personal relationships. *8's are considered to be on the wrong path if an attachment to material objects is taking over their desire to share material and spiritual riches with the rest of the world.

Life Path Number 9

Those on the number 9 Life path are destined to travel a humanitarian path. These individuals make great diplomats, environmentalists, veterinarians, teachers, judges, social workers, nuns, priests and healers.

These sophisticated individual are very selfless souls and are often patient, trustworthy and honorable from the very beginning to the end of their life. Their moral rectitude, compassion and generosity often identify them.

Noble number 9's are willing to take on great responsibilities in the name of justice or fighting for the underdog. Very few of them are interested in material gain. Many of them believe they will get their rewards in heaven for good deeds done on earth. It is also not unusual for a number 9 to give up all of their material possessions for the common good.

Sometimes 9's express their deep understanding of life through painting, writing, music or other art forms. Many also become mystics, channellers, light workers, Reiki masters, witches and alternative healers.

The number 9 personality is best suited to the healing and care giving professions. Their sensitive natures tend to be completely trampled in traditional, competitive business environments.

Number 9's have winning smiles and make friends very easily. They are great listeners and many of them can make others feel better just with a simple pat on the hand. Although they are fantastic with strangers, they are not so great in one on one relationship. One on one relationships often seem toxic to sophisticated number nines who are turned off by the drama, possessiveness and terminal uniqueness that is associated with the ideal of a soul mate. 9's also do not like sex much, unless it is related to a tantra or practiced for the purposes of procreation. Many of them purposely remain single so that they can treat everybody like their soul mate.

9's who stray from their wrong paths often find themselves feeling angry or hostile towards those they have helped. They may feel their generosity has been misused or abused. Their life path is to have faith in God or a Higher Power rather than other people. The number 9 who is giving with an expectation of reward, needs to reexamine his or own inner core and principles.

The negative side of 9's manifests when they find others leaving them out of the loop. Their eccentricity causes others to treat them like village idiot. Sometimes 9's lofty ideals are presented in a manner that others find absurd, spacey or hilarious. Part of a 9's life path to express spiritual principles through actions, rather than through preaching or proselytizing.

Life Path Number 11

The Number 11 Life Path is concerned with spiritual illumination. Often a number 11 will display an understanding and knowledge of metaphysical matters that is far beyond the grasp of others.

11's tend to lead a life of extremes. In their quest to find a balance between the rational and the irrationality they will often pursue the most eclectic of religions and cultures. These avant-garde and visionary individuals make great students, psychics, mystics, healers, teachers, writers, musicians and artists.

The number 11 will often sacrifice all in the pursuit of occult or metaphysical knowledge. Their thirst for learning persuades many of them to join cults or New Age Movements. Fortunately if they do get in trouble, they often demonstrate a brilliant resilience.

11's can also be chameleons when it comes to career. Many of them try on careers the same way others try on clothes. The odd thing is that these "quick studies” are usually successful at whatever they do. Many of them will often boast two careers at once, often antithetical to each other. It is an 11 that you will find working as the manager of a bank by day, and then moonlighting as a Tarot Reader at night.

However, 11's best utilize their life's purpose by attempting to become teachers or counseling. Most 11's are very skilled healers at the subconscious level and others are often healed by their touching and insightful words.

On the negative side 11's often expect a great deal of themselves and others. Many of them are "wounded healers" who at some point in their life suffer a devastating experience that propels them on the search for spirituality. However along with these situations usually come a lot of toxic emotional baggage and a harsh inner critic. It takes many 11's their entire life to rid themselves of the chip on their shoulder.

11's are also very nervous individuals who are prone to illnesses that have a dual nature such as manic depression and schizophrenia. A tendency towards dreaminess sometimes delays them from finding their true purpose in life. In fact, 11's are often late bloomers who do not start making money doing what they love until after age 40.

An 11 has strayed from his or her path when he or she finds himself always dreaming of big schemes, but never taking practical action to put these ideas into action. This means the 11 is not progressing and stuck in the "visionary" stage of enlightenment.

Life Path Number 22

Those following the life path of 22 are called master teachers. They are the most powerful of the Life Path numbers and are endowed with many powers. They have a unique talent for manifesting ideas into the realm of reality.

Whatever a 22 thinks about is almost sure to become manifest so it is very important for them to choose their thoughts carefully. If they are willing to work for what they desire they can achieve enormous prestige, success and fame. Things often come easily to 22's who others often describe as being "born with a silver spoon." They can accomplish a great deal with very little effort.

Negative 22's are very rare, but sometimes they display what looks like insensitivity. This is part of a spiritual directive to be detached from objects and the outcome of events. Many of them work for material gain, with the idea that their wealth should be spread among the masses.

Life Path Number 33

A birth date that reduces down to 33 is very rare. When it does happen you are looking at a great and significant spiritual leader along the lines of the Dalai Lama or Gandhi.

These individuals do not display any typicality in terms of their life story, however they do usually achieve fame through acts of kindness, tenderness and compassion that lead to the transformation of the world's consciousness.

Samantha Steven's articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha's books about metaphysics click here
http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

Nude Aerobics Yoga?

2006-11-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

Nude aerobics yoga may sound vulgar, offensive and impossible but it does exists.
A lot of people may not practice doing this but there are some who would really
prefer doing nude aerobics yoga.

Nude aerobics yoga may imply something not applicable to some culture and
society. There are some places that might not respect that kind of practice.

They say nudity is healthy natural. Those who do nude aerobics yoga say that
clothes keep them disturbed and it prevents the flow of air in getting inside the
body. This may be funny but they really think it that way. For them, wearing clothes
is like an excess baggage.

Some can’t even carry out yoga with their clothes on. If this is the case, a lot of
people will be intimidated or perhaps be interested in doing nude aerobics yoga.

Somehow, this brings some negative effects in the people or group doing this kind
of practice. Some might think that they will take nude aerobics yoga for fun and for
some other reasons which goes beyond imagination.

Clothes are considered an art in yoga exercises. Without clothes, where would art
take place? Did they say that the body is considered the art, not mentioning nudity?

Nude aerobics yoga is believed to be a clean exercise because people believed that
wearing clothes invited and encouraged the proliferation of microscopic fungi and
bacteria. This is acquired in warm and humid temperature and circumstances.

When the temperature is warm, they are able to interfere with the natural body
temperature of our control mechanism. This makes some of the parts hotter than
the others.

People who do nude aerobics yoga can freely sweat and not be absorbed by cotton.
This may sound gross but they claimed that people who perspire in clothes smell
bad. Sweaty clothes are not pleasing to our nose. That is a fact. But those who
perspire naturally smell better.

Wearing shorts and trousers will raise the temperature of the testicles for the male.
This then results to hinder the growth of sperm and the male hormones which
reduces fertility. This can also cause impotence to both genders.

Looking back to the early generation, nudity was our natural condition as they say.
It was also added that nudity adds to the physical and emotional health of the
individual.

The main reason why people love doing nude aerobics yoga is because it feels great.
A lot of them have alleged the same reasons and they really stand for it. Nude
aerobics yoga lets you articulate your natural emotions and let you speak for
yourself. After all, it’s nice to feel the natural air slapping on your skin and feeling
the sweat roughly come out of the inside.

At first it may be too cognizant to practice the nude aerobics yoga but once you get the hang of it, you will feel that it is nourishing and exfoliating. You will realize after
that doing this exercise is not that gross as what you think. Later on you will feel its
effect on your body and it wouldn’t be surprising to see that your body has changed
because you have bared it all.

It is now time to change your viewpoint in life and go on a different level. After you
have experienced all the styles of yoga, try the nude aerobics yoga and have that
nice feel.

© Copyright Melvin Chua, All Rights Reserved.

Melvin has dozens more related articles and tips on doing yoga at his site: href="http://www.doing-yoga.com" target="_blank">doing yoga, check them
out today!

Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know

2006-11-28T02:29:00.000-08:00

1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash.

Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person’s work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.

The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.

2. You are always told that it’s your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can’t possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.

3. You’re more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you’ve been treated? Have you found yourself asking: “Is it reasonable to feel like this?” “Am I misinterpreting things?” “Have I got it wrong?”

If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you’ve stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can’t feel the strength of your own convictions.

4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they’ve said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they’ve caused?

Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?

When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.

5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.

You do everything you can to make him happy, but it’s never good enough. You’re more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he’ll be charmed, often he’s dismissive.

If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner’s expense.

6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)

Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.

7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can’t do it, because her partner is working against her.

Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.

But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.

Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.

Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively.
Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.

“The Woman You Want To Be” is a unique workbook designed to accompany you on a year long journey into emotional health and happiness.

(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

Hemroids

2006-11-27T15:43:00.001-08:00

Hemroids or hemorrhoids are also known as piles and it is causes due to the swelling of rectum veins. It causes bleeding though anus while passing the stool. There are mainly two types of hemorrhoids- external hemorrhoids and internal hemorrhoids.

As the name known internal hemorrhoids affects internal rectal region. In the case of internal hemorrhoids the veins are rectal bleeding starts due to the enlargement of the veins, which abstracts the stool while passing. The most popular treatment for internal hemorrhoids are injection therapy, hemroidectomy, infrared coagulation, rubber band ligatio.

In case of external hemorrhoids the symptoms are felt out side the body like irritation, burning sensation around the anus area and itching and passing of stool along with bleeding. “Warm Bath” can give you some relief from external hemorrhoids. For this you have to sit in warm water for 10 to 15 minutes. You can do it twice or thrice times in a day. Or you can also use ice packs for temporary relief from external hemorrhoids.

Here is the important thing is to know what is the symptoms of hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoid symptoms are primarily noticed at rectum and adjoining areas. The commonly known hemorrhoids symptoms are: Itching in rectal area Swelling of anus or inner anus area Obstruction in passing stools Formation blood clots in inner side of anus-which can be felt by touch is hemorrhoid symptom. Strangulated lumps-prolapsed from anus (advance stage of internal hemroid) is a hemorrhoids symptom.

hemorrhoids occurrence depends on so many things like eating habits, bowel habits, abdominal disorders and working conditions and nature of jobs.

Now a question comes in mind that what is the treatment for hemorrhoids. There are various treatments for treating hemorrhoids. The best option is precaution to carry out early treatment so that it is prevented from further development. Some of the temporary treatments are surgery, herbal medicines and various creams. The herbal medicines and creams are prepared from various trees such as horse chestnut tree, butcher broom tree and the pagoda trees that are mostly found in Japan.

Author is a a website marketing executive for hemroids related site www.hemroids-information.com. This site give you complete information about hemroids information, hemroids symptom, hemroids types, causes of hemroids and treatments for get relief from hemroids.

Benefits of a Healthy Self-Esteem

2006-11-27T02:30:00.000-08:00

The great thing about self-esteem is that it does not take much in the enhancement of your self-esteem for you to experience quite significant results. It is as if your psyche has been waiting for what seems an eternity for you to make some moves in this direction. Once you take even the first step on the pathway to enhanced self-esteem you will experience feelings you never thought possible. It is almost as intense (and pleasurable) as the act physical intimacy with a loved one, but lasts a heck of lot longer!!! (That’s all I plan to say on that matter!)

After a while the intensity lessens or as I prefer, you grow into it. But the sense of inner glow remains and makes life extremely enjoyable. Try it, yo might get just as hooked as I am. And if that is not enough incentive, what else do you have to look forward to?

People with appropriate levels of self-esteem seek out new challenges. They develop stimulating and demanding things to do. Life is never ‘dull and boring’. They have more resources available to them when they are confronted with problems in their lives. They bounce back more quickly from set backs because they have the energy to, if necessary start again from scratch, time and time again.

People with appropriate levels of self-esteem are more ambitious, not necessarily in the area of finance and career, but in what they look for in life generally. They are able to express themselves, their thoughts and their wants more easily because they believe their thoughts have value and are worthy of expression. They are able to accept criticism of those thoughts easily because they are able to see the criticism for what it is, rather than an attack on their personhood.

People with appropriate levels of self-esteem tend to treat others with respect and fairness because those others do not represent any sort of threat to themselves. When you respect yourself, you have a solid basis for being able to respect others for what they have to offer. Because people with appropriate levels of self-esteem think of themselves as worthy of being loved, they also have a foundation for being able to love and appreciate other people. They believe each life is enriched by mutual respect and sharing of ideas.

People with appropriate levels of self-esteem have good things happening in their lives because they expect good things to happen. It really is that simple.

The reality is, your self-esteem is a given in life. It functions with or without your input, with or without your knowledge. Given the lists of benefits which would you rather have: a level of self-esteem appropriate to your life situation or an underdeveloped self-esteem that finds you sadly lacking in most areas of endeavor? The choice, as always is yours.

Graham Hunt is the founder and Thinker-in-Residence of The Ultimate Success Centre, an organization developed to resource an environment where those who choose can discover and develop towards their full potential. Part of the way Graham is doing that is through his website The Ultimate Success Site Drop by and visit anytime.

What to Do If You Suspect Your Child Is Secretly Doing Something Unacceptable

2006-11-26T09:31:00.001-08:00

What is a parent to do if she/he suspects his/her child is secretly doing something unacceptable? The first reaction is to trust that your child is in conflict about something and needs your understanding support to discuss and resolve the issue. Avoid the temptation to rifle through your child’s personal belongings to uncover information.

If you discover evidence supporting your suspicions, you will need to reveal that you found the evidence. Your child will know you have snooped and will feel a sense of violation and, worse, will feel he/she cannot trust you.

The most effective way to help your child tell you what is going-on is a non-judgmental and open discussion. The following tips are good guidelines for this process.

1. Remain Calm: No matter how upset you are with regard to your suspicions, remain calm to avoid an adversarial atmosphere. Your reaction and behavior play a key role in your child’s ability to tell you what she/he is struggling with or is doing.

2. Take your child to a comfortable place in your home—kitchen table, bedroom or family room. Do not include siblings in this discussion.

3. Use a calm, non-judgmental matter-of-fact tone of voice.

4. Understand your child does not know how to tell you or what you need to know so you can be of help.

5. Tell your child what you have noticed and why you are concerned. Describe his/her behavior, actions, reactions, and mood—referencing these behaviors, actions, reactions and mood to specific events.

6. Avoid discounting anything your child says. Children cannot talk in the same style or use the same vocabulary as adults. If your child says something that does not add up or make sense—State: “That does not add up or make sense.” Review the details and point out the discrepancies. Continue this line of discussion, until you are satisfied all information has been revealed.

7. Do not admonish your child for not telling you before. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Regardless of how your child told you—you now know. Praise your child for telling you.

Some issues may take days or weeks to resolve. Reassure your child that the issue will be resolved.
8. Reassure your child you love him/her. Children feel guilt, humiliation and shame more readily and more than will be apparent.

9. Develop a plan to help your child learn to avoid these type situations or to handle it in an assertive and self-empowering manner.

Important tools to teach your child to navigate in life include:

1. Be polite—to say "thank you," "please," "excuse me," "I'm sorry," —beginning at age two.

2. Respect other people's differences. We live among many cultures, we need to be ready to have friendships with people who do things in a different way.

3. Respect, but be alert to over zealous or sneaky persons in authority—teachers, coaches, religious leaders, a friend's parents, neighbors and elders.

4. Show kindness—avoid teasing and bullying.

5. Develop interests—hobbies, sports, community work/volunteering, mentoring younger children. Doing interesting things makes your child interesting and brings other exciting people into his/her life. It builds self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

6. Exercise good sportsmanship—be a team member who looks out for the entire team and not just oneself.

7. Encourage your child to do things on his/her own as well as in a group—a person who can enjoy his/her own company is good company for others.

8. Be assertive—people respect your child for standing up for what's right and showing strength. It's ok to say "no" when it is the right thing to do.

9. Be friendly—to have friends a person sometimes has to make the first move.

Promote these positive behaviors at home with family members. If these actions are part of a child's daily life at home, he/she will continue them outside of the home. Other good ideas include taking your children to places and events where children don't typically go, so they learn early on how to act in such public places. You can also allow your child to play host with you at family gatherings in your home or when close friends visit. Give tasks to a child that she/he can do without too much help from you, and don't forget to offer praise later.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Top 15 Goals Quotations

2006-11-25T12:23:00.001-08:00

Examine your own personal goals and find methods to achieve your desires with these valuable quotations about setting goals...

"The most important thing about having goals is having one."
-- Geoffrey F. Abert
"It takes a little courage, and a little self-control. And some grim determination, If you want to reach the goal. It takes a deal of striving, and a firm and stern-set chin. No matter what the battle, If you really want to win. There's no easy path to glory, There's no road to fame. Life, however we may view it, Is no simple parlor game; But it's prizes call for fighting, For endurance and for grit; For a rugged disposition and don't know when to quit."
-- Anonymous
"No set goal achieved satisfies. Success only breeds a new goal. The golden apple devoured has seeds. It is endless."
-- Bette Davis
"A goal is a dream that has an ending. "
-- Duke Ellington
"The timid and fearful first failures dismay, but the stout heart stays trying by night and by day. He values his failures as lessons that teach The one way to get to the goal he would reach."
-- Edgar A. Guest
"Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer to your goal."
-- Elbert Hubbard
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
-- Thomas Jefferson
"It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal."
-- Helen Keller
"A goal properly set is halfway reached."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to reach."
-- Benjamin E. Mays
"Each of us has a fire in our hearts for something. It's our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit."
-- Mary Lou Retton
"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."
-- Ralph Vaull Starr
"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success."
-- Henry David Thoreau
"Goals are your personal statements of what you are truly willing to do to achieve what you really want to achieve."
-- Denis Waitley
"What you get by achieving your goals is to as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
-- Zig Ziglar

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

Sex, Love, and Poly-Behavioral Addiction

2006-11-24T20:25:00.000-08:00

Experts in the field of addictions are presently purporting that between 3 and 6 percent of the world’s population (193 to 386 million people) are presently affected by a sexual dependency or compulsivity (Carnes, 2005). Sexual dependency is a diagnosable and treatable disease, which today is generally, regarded in about the same way that alcoholism and drug addiction (chemical dependency) was regarded 40 years ago. Even so, there still exists a wide range of understandable misunderstandings about compulsive sexual acting out, created out of ignorance about the nature of sexual addiction, and supported and perpetuated by the multibillion dollar pornography industry.

Sexual Dependency - is a global term that covers a wide range of maladaptive and self-defeating behavior patterns and relationships such as:

1. Love Addiction – a disorder in which individuals repeatedly become involved in enmeshed, intense, codependent relationships, even when those relationships or partners are destructive;

2. Romance Addiction - a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with the intrigue and the pursuit of romance and thrive on the thrill of the chase, but find it impossible to sustain a committed, intimate relationship with another person;

3. Sexual Anorexia – a disorder in which individuals become dominated and obsessed with the emotional, physical, and mental task of avoiding sex; and

4. Sex Addiction – a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with sexually-related, compulsive self-defeating maladaptive behavior.

But can one really be addicted to love as the popular 80’s song proclaims? In a recent research study, (Aron, A. 2005) published in the June issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers used functional MRI to watch the real-time brain activity of 17 college students (10 women, seven men), all of whom were in the early weeks or months of new love. These researchers concluded that, love may vie for the same real estate in the brain as drug addiction. “Early love, rooted as it is in the caudate nucleus, is all about addiction.” "It is a drug addiction." "It's certainly got some of the main characteristics of drug addiction -- as with drugs, once you fall in love you need that person more and more, so much so that, after a while, you have to marry them. There are other things, too -- real dependence, personality changes, withdrawal symptoms." “And just like the need for cocaine or heroin, love can make people do crazy, sometimes dangerous things.” According to Aron (2005), the findings help explain instances where people fall in love with people they aren’t even sexually attracted to; or why others can feel equally strong, sudden emotion for a newborn child or even God.

So does this mean that all people who are newly in love have an addiction? Are all men who look at pornography addicted? Are all women who read romance novels addicted? Are all people who avoid sex considered sexual anorexics? No, no, no, and no. Then how can we differentiate between addiction and healthy relationships? Like other forms of addictive diseases and lifestyle disorders such as chemical dependency, pathological gambling, eating disorders, and religious addiction -

Sexual dependency is characterized by an addictive cycle of:

1. Obsession or preoccupation;

2. Ritualization;

3. Compulsive behaviors;

4. Loss of control and despair; and

5. Shame and guilt that perpetuates a maladaptive belief system of impaired thinking and unmanageability.

Typically, sexual addictive patterns are considered pathological problems when issues concerning sexual behaviors become the focus of life, causing feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment with related symptoms of depression and anxiety that cause significant maladaptive social and/ or occupational impairment in functioning. Addicts don’t use sex for affection or recreation, but for the management of anxiety and/ or emotional pain.

We must consider that some people develop dependencies on certain life-functioning activities such as sex that can be just as life threatening as drug addiction and just as socially and psychologically damaging as alcoholism.

Sexual addiction takes many forms with various levels of severity to include:

1. Controversial behaviors (obsessions with pornography, and sex with strangers to engaging in cyber-sex);

2. Unacceptable behaviors (exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent phone calls); and

3. Profound Sex offender behaviors (rape, incest, and child molestation).

Though solitary forms of this addiction may not be overtly risky, they can be part of a pattern of distorted thinking and identity conflict that can escalate to involve harming the self and others. An example of a Sexual Disorder (NOS) or Not Otherwise Specified in the DSM-IV-TR, (2000) includes: distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by an individual only as things to be used. (It should be noted that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has never used the word “addiction” to describe any of its disorders).
The defining elements of this kind of addiction are its secrecy and escalating nature, often resulting in diminished judgment and self-control (Carnes, 1994).

Brief History of Sex Addiction

In 1976, a suburban hospital administrator asked Dr. Patrick Carnes to start an experimental program for chemically dependent families. The theoretical constructs of the program originated in general systems theory, especially as it applied to families and the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the many factors which stood out from a family perspective was that the addictive compulsivity had many forms other than alcohol and drug abuse including overeating, gambling, shoplifting, and sexuality. Members of groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous had already pioneered in applying the 12-steps to other addictions so the Family Renewal Center extended its programming based on the 12-steps, to sexual addiction.

In 1983, Dr. Patrick Carnes formally introduced the concept of sexual addiction to the world in a text entitled “Out of the Shadows.” Since then the field of sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior has developed dramatically. Terms such as addiction, compulsivity, hyper-sexuality, and “Don Juanism,” all have been used to describe what generically could be called "out of control sexual behavior." Regardless of its name, clinicians from all fields agree that a syndrome exists in which individuals have a sense that they have lost control over their sexual behavior.

According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others. The fundamental nature of all addiction is the addicts' experience of helplessness and powerlessness over an obsessive-compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict may be out of control. They may experience extreme emotional pain and shame. They may repeatedly fail to control their behavior. They may suffer one or more of the following consequences of an unmanageable lifestyle: a deterioration of some or all supportive relationships; difficulties with work, financial troubles; and physical, mental, and/ or emotional exhaustion which sometimes leads to psychiatric problems and hospitalization. Addictions tend to arise from the same backgrounds: families with co-dependency including multiple addictions; lack of effective parenting; and other forms of physical, emotional and sexual trauma in childhood.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH, 2005) report that the symptoms of sexual compulsivity often accompany other addictive behaviors:

Alcohol and Drug Addiction – Alcohol and drugs alter libido, enhancing it early in drug addiction and inhibiting it later. There is a pattern in cocaine addiction of selling sexual favors for cocaine. As the cost of drug addiction increases, the drug addict usually can't afford the drug from ordinary job income, and must resort to (either/or) stealing, drug dealing or prostitution to support their habit. Alcohol and many drugs cause blackouts or amnesia during the drug using experience, and if sex is coupled with that drug using experience then the details of the sexual experience may not be remembered.

Food Addiction - Sexual anorexia or pathological self-denial of healthy sex is a frequent accompaniment of overeating and anorexia nervosa.

Pathological Gambling - The lifestyle of the gambler often includes hyper-sexuality, where both compulsions feed the false sense of self-esteem of the addict.

Religious Addiction - Compulsive religiosity sometimes accompanies sexual addiction as the sex addict is seeking religion to lessen guilt and shame. The beginnings of compulsive religiosity may signal the onset of a period of sexual anorexia.

Multiple Addictions

Since it is impossible to expect treatment for one addiction to be beneficial when other addictions co-exist, the initial therapeutic intervention for any addiction needs to include an assessment for other addictions. National surveys revealed that a very high correlation exists between sexual addiction and other substance abuse and behavioral addictions. Sexual addicts who have reported experiencing multiple addictions include sexual addiction and:

* Chemical dependency (42%)

* Eating disorder (38%)

* Compulsive working (28%)

* Compulsive spending (26%)

* Compulsive gambling (5%)

* Poor Prognosis

We have come to realize today more than any other time in history that the treatment of lifestyle diseases and addictions are often a difficult and frustrating task for all concerned. Repeated failures abound with all of the addictions, even with utilizing the most effective treatment strategies. But why do 47% of patients treated in private addiction treatment programs (for example) relapse within the first year following treatment (Gorski, T., 2001)? Have addiction specialists become conditioned to accept failure as the norm? There are many reasons for this poor prognosis. Some would proclaim that addictions are psychosomatically- induced and maintained in a semi-balanced force field of driving and restraining multidimensional forces. Others would say that failures are due simply to a lack of self-motivation or will power. Most would agree that lifestyle behavioral addictions are serious health risks that deserve our attention, but could it possibly be that patients with multiple addictions are being under diagnosed (with a single dependence) simply due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple addictions?

Diagnostic Delineation

Thus far, the DSM-IV-TR has not delineated a diagnosis for the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions. It has reserved the Poly-substance Dependence diagnosis for a person who is repeatedly using at least three groups of substances during the same 12-month period, but the criteria for this diagnosis do not involve any behavioral addiction symptoms. In the Psychological Factors Affecting Medical Condition’s section (DSM-IV-TR, 2000); maladaptive health behaviors (e.g., unsafe sexual practices, excessive alcohol, drug use, and over eating, etc.) may be listed on Axis I, only if they are significantly affecting the course of treatment of a medical or mental condition.

Since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning, it is no wonder that repeated rehabilitation failures and low success rates are the norm instead of the exception in the addictions field, when the latest DSM-IV-TR does not even include a diagnosis for multiple addictive behavioral disorders. Treatment clinics need to have a treatment planning system and referral network that is equipped to thoroughly assess multiple addictive and mental health disorders and related treatment needs and comprehensively provide education/ awareness, prevention strategy groups, and/ or specific addictions treatment services for individuals diagnosed with multiple addictions. Written treatment goals and objectives should be specified for each separate addiction and dimension of an individuals’ life, and the desired performance outcome or completion criteria should be specifically stated, behaviorally based (a visible activity), and measurable.

New Proposed Diagnosis

To assist in resolving the limited DSM-IV-TRs’ diagnostic capability, a multidimensional diagnosis of “Poly-behavioral Addiction,” is proposed for more accurate diagnosis leading to more effective treatment planning. This diagnosis encompasses the broadest category of addictive disorders that would include an individual manifesting a combination of substance abuse addictions, and other obsessively-compulsive behavioral addictive behavioral patterns to pathological gambling, religion, and/ or sex / pornography, etc.). Behavioral addictions are just as damaging - psychologically and socially as alcohol and drug abuse. They are comparative to other life-style diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease in their behavioral manifestations, their etiologies, and their resistance to treatments. They are progressive disorders that involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. They are also characterized by a preoccupation with a continuous or periodic loss of control, and continuous irrational behavior in spite of adverse consequences.

Poly-behavioral addiction would be described as a state of periodic or chronic physical, mental, emotional, cultural, sexual and/ or spiritual/ religious intoxication. These various types of intoxication are produced by repeated obsessive thoughts and compulsive practices involved in pathological relationships to any mood-altering substance, person, organization, belief system, and/ or activity. The individual has an overpowering desire, need or compulsion with the presence of a tendency to intensify their adherence to these practices, and evidence of phenomena of tolerance, abstinence and withdrawal, in which there is always physical and/ or psychic dependence on the effects of this pathological relationship. In addition, there is a 12 - month period in which an individual is pathologically involved with three or more behavioral and/ or substance use addictions simultaneously, but the criteria are not met for dependence for any one addiction in particular (Slobodzien, J., 2005). In essence, Poly-behavioral addiction is the synergistically integrated chronic dependence on multiple physiologically addictive substances and behaviors (e.g., using/ abusing substances - nicotine, alcohol, & drugs, and/or acting impulsively or obsessively compulsive in regards to gambling, food binging, sex, and/ or religion, etc.) simultaneously.

Conclusion

Considering the wide range of sexual behaviors in our world today, one should always take into account an individual’s ethnic, cultural, religious, and social background prior to making any clinical judgments, and it would be wise to not over-pathologize in this area of Sexual Dependency. However, since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning - poly-behavioral addiction needs to be identified to effectively treat the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions.

Since chronic lifestyle diseases and disorders such as diabetes, hypertension, alcoholism, drug and behavioral addictions cannot be cured, but only managed - how should we effectively manage poly-behavioral addiction?

The Addiction Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed utilizing a multidimensional integrative assessment, treatment planning, treatment progress, and treatment outcome measurement tracking system that facilitates rapid and accurate recognition and evaluation of an individual’s comprehensive life-functioning progress dimensions. The ARMS hypothesis purports that there is a multidimensional synergistically negative resistance that individual’s develop to any one form of treatment to a single dimension of their lives, because the effects of an individual’s addiction have dynamically interacted multi-dimensionally. Having the primary focus on one dimension is insufficient. Traditionally, addiction treatment programs have failed to accommodate for the multidimensional synergistically negative effects of an individual having multiple addictions, (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, and obesity, etc.). Behavioral addictions interact negatively with each other and with strategies to improve overall functioning. They tend to encourage the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, help increase violence, decrease functional capacity, and promote social isolation. Most treatment theories today involve assessing other dimensions to identify dual diagnosis or co-morbidity diagnoses, or to assess contributing factors that may play a role in the individual’s primary addiction. The ARMS’ theory proclaims that a multidimensional treatment plan must be devised addressing the possible multiple addictions identified for each one of an individual’s life dimensions in addition to developing specific goals and objectives for each dimension.

Partnerships and coordination among service providers, government departments, and community organizations in providing addiction treatment programs are a necessity in addressing the multi-task solution to poly-behavioral addiction. I encourage you to support the addiction programs in America, and hope that the (ARMS) resources can assist you to personally fight the War on poly-behavioral addiction.

For more info see:
Poly-Behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS)
By James Slobodzien, Psy.D. CSAC at:
http://www.geocities.com/drslbdzn/Behavioral_Addictions.html

National Council on Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity

P.O. Box 725544

Atlanta, GA 31139

(770) 541-9912

http://www.ncsac.org

Sexual Addiction Resources

http://www.sexhelp.com

References

American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition,
Text Revision. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, p. 787 & p. 731.
American Society of Addiction Medicine’s (2003), “Patient Placement Criteria for the
Treatment of Substance-Related Disorders, 3rd Edition, Retrieved, June 18, 2005, from:

http://www.asam.org/
Arthur Aron, Ph.D., professor, psychology, State University of New York, Stony Brook; Helen
Fisher, research professor, department of anthropology, Rutgers University, New Brunswick, N.J.;
Paul Sanberg, Ph.D.,professor, neuroscience, and director, Center of Excellence for Aging and
Brain Repair,University of South Florida College of Medicine, Tampa; June 2005, the Journal of
Neurophysiology
Carnes, P.J. (1983). Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Minneapolis, MN: Compcare.
Carnes, P.J. (1989). Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict. Minneapolis, MN: Compcare.
Carnes, P.J. (1991). Don't Call it Love. Minneapolis, MN: Gentle Press Publishing.
Carnes, P.J. (1997). Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-hatred. Center City, MN: Hazelden.
Carnes, P.J., & Delmonico, D.L. (1994). Sexual Dependency Inventory. Wickenburg, AZ: The Meadows Institute.
Carnes, P.J., Delmonico, D.L., & Griffin, E. J. (2001). In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of
Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior. Center City, MN: Hazelden.
Delmonico, D.L. (1997). Internet Sex Screening Test. [Online]. Available at: http://www.sexhelp.com
Delmonico, D.L., Griffin, E.J., & Moriarity, J. (2001). Cybersex Unhooked: A Workbook for Breaking Free From Online Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Wickenburg, AZ: Gentle Path Press.
Gorski, T. (2001), Relapse Prevention In The Managed Care Environment. GORSKI-CENAPS Web
Publications. Retrieved June 20, 2005, from: www.tgorski.com
Lienard, J. & Vamecq, J. (2004), Presse Med, Oct 23;33(18 Suppl):33-40.
Marlatt, G. A. (1985). Relapse prevention: Theoretical rationale and overview of the model. In G. A.
Marlatt & J. R. Gordon (Eds.), Relapse prevention (pp. 250-280). New York: Guilford Press.
Schneider, J.P. (1994). Sex addiction: Controversy within mainstream addiction medicine, diagnosis based on the DSV-III-R and physician case histories. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: Journal of Treatment and Prevention, 1(1), 19-44.
Slobodzien, J. (2005). Poly-behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS), Booklocker.com, Inc., p. 5.

James Slobodzien, Psy.D. CSAC, is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor who earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The National Registry of Health Service Providers in Psychology credentials Dr. Slobodzien. He has over 20-years of mental health experience primarily working in the fields of alcohol/ substance abuse and behavioral addictions in medical, correctional, and judicial settings. He is an adjunct professor of Psychology and also maintains a private practice as a mental health consultant.

The Top 10 Secrets From Anthony Robbins

2006-11-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

For more than 25 years US-based motivational speaker and success coach Anthony Robbins has been passionately pursuing the answers to questions such as 'What shapes human behaviour? And how can we create lasting change
within oursleves and others?'.

He has spoken in front of more than 3 million people around the world and sold around 35 million books and audio coaching products.

After attending his 4-day 'Unleash The Power Within' seminar recently in Kuala Lumpur I learnt many strategies to perform at your best.

I even took part in his famous barefoot walk over hot coals. This powerful physical metaphor shows how anyone can overcome their deepest and greatest fears with focus, passion and desire.

Part rock concert, part learning experience, part aerobic workout, the seminar was attended by more than 4,000 people in a giant indoor sporting stadium that was built for the Commonwealth Games.

Standing 6'7", weighing 265 lbs and with a shoe size of 16, Robbins was impressive on stage as he harnessed the energy of the crowd.

In fact, security guards have to line the stage as he is regularly swamped by over eager fans.

At 43 years old, he has been enourmously successful and worked with people like President Clinton and Melson Mendela.

What was it like?

Hot, humid, high energy and simple take home messages packaged with a high-tech light, sound and video show.

I was impressed, motivated and got some great ideas from it.

Here is my gift to you. The Top 10 Secrets of Success I learnt from spending 4 days with Tony Robbins.

1. YOUR POTENTIAL IS DETERMINED (OR LIMITED) BY YOUR SELF-BELIEF.

As the promotional material says the event was 'about creating breakthroughs, moving beyond fears and limiting beliefs, accomplishing goals and realizing true desires, turning dreams into reality, creating fulfilling relationships, and modeling the strategies of peak performers to produce a quantum difference in your life.'

If you cut out the hype, the simple message is if you believe in yourself enough you can achieve anything.

A memorable one-liner was "the only thing that's keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself".

2. MOST PEOPLE HAVE SELF-DOUBT AROUND UNIVERSAL THEMES.

Ask anyone and most people will admit they lack confidence in some areas of their life. The interesting thing I learnt from this seminar is that this self-doubt is around universal themes. These themes cross age, gender, religous, cultural and language barriers.

Common doubts include 'I am not good enough', 'I am lazy' and 'No-one loves me'.

3. YOU CAN LEARN MECHANISMS TO ELIMINATE SELF-DOUBT.

Robbins calls it 'immersion' where you break old patterns and build new ones by repetition. He uses a lot of Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to achieve this with his audiences.

He says "progress is not automatic".

A memorable moment in the seminar was when we had to visualize ourselves inside a bubble and inside that bubble was a series of videotapes neatly arranged in a time-line that represented all our memories in our lives so far. We had to pull out the negative videotapes and destroy them. This was followed by time spent visualising the future and how your life will look 10 and 20 years from now.

4. BELIEF IMPACTS ON MANY LEVELS.

The Robbins message was that 3 things shape our self-belief. He calls them the Triad. These are our patterns of physiology, focus and language or meaning.

He highlighted this with the quote: "where focus goes energy flows".

5. OUR VALUES AND BELIEFS SHAPE OUR ACTIONS.

Robbins believes you can "vanquish whatever is holding you back from taking action".

Walking barefoot across a bed of glowing coals is the physical metaphor he uses in his seminars to prove this point to the skeptics.

Eliminate negative self-belief and take massive action are his keys to success.

6. TO CREATE POSITIVE OUTCOMES YOU MUST TAKE MASSIVE ACTION.

"Where focus goes energy flows" is a quote used by Robbins in his presentation to highlight why you need to know your outcome and why achieving this is a must.

But many people fail to take the next step. They delay, put off and find many reasons or excuses not to act.

Robbins believes "progress is not automatic" and "action is power". Take action, even if it is the wrong action. He says it is "never a failure if you learn something".

7. MATCHING & MIRRORING CREATES CONNECTION, TRUST & EMPATHY.

Robbins spent a fair amount of time in the seminar talking about and demonstrating interpersonal communication skills.

He used people from the audience to show how the process of "matching and mirroring" the non-verbal communication and body language of others can be a very powerful way to connect with people.

In essence, you create rapport by adopting the body language of the person you are communicating with.

He believes "rapport is power" and "total responsiveness is created by a feeling of commonality".

If you have learnt these techniques before and haven't used them for a while, I suggest it is time to dust them off and put them into action next time you are communicating with someone on a one-to-one basis.

8. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU FOCUS ON PASSION AND PURPOSE.

Robbins believes that "to have an extraordinary quality of life you need two skills: the science of achievement (the ability to take anything you envision and make it real) and the art of fulfilment (this allows you to enjoy every moment of it)."

He says "success without fulfilment is failure".

Find your passion and purpose in life. My purpose is to make a difference in people's lives and use my gift as a speaker.

9. MODEL YOURSELF ON OTHER ACHIEVERS.

To gain improvements quickly and step up to a new level of achievement, Robbins believes learning from others who are the best in their field is the fastest way to achieve success.

He told the story of how he wanted to improve his tennis game and so employed Andre Agassi, the then number one ranked player to help him achieve this.

Who could you model yourself on?

"People's lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group," according to Robbins.

10. SUCCESS IS BUILT ON A HEALTHY, HIGH ENERGY BODY, HEART AND MIND

If you are not healthy - all of the above points are a waste of time.

Your health is determined and influenced by your lifestyle.

One major change I've made since the seminar is to eat a healthier diet and exercise more regularly.

As a speaker, my whole business depends on my ability to perform at a peak state. Like any professional athlete, the success of business is directly linked to my diet and health.

Take care of yourself, your body is ultimately your most important asset.

Thomas Murrell MBA CSP is an international business speaker, consultant and award-winning broadcaster. Media Motivators is his regular electronic magazine read by 7,000 professionals in 15 different countries. You can subscribe by visiting http://www.8mmedia.com. Thomas can be contacted directly at +6189388 6888 and is available to speak to your conference, seminar or event. Visit Tom's blog at http://www.8mmedia.blogspot.com

What Does Unconditional Love Really Mean?

2006-11-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

Unconditional love means unconditional freedom. Love and freedom are two of those words that are interchangeable. Freedom of choice is unconditional love, unconditional freedom. Choice is another of those words that are interchangeable with Love and freedom.

For the most part humanity understands little of what the word ‘unconditional,’ means. Unconditional means… "NO CONDITIONS." This lack of understanding is what has divided man from man and religion from religion throughout his sojourn in the physical reality. It is again man’s ego trying to grasp the idea, and not being able to surrender to its meaning. Let me demonstrate. The one common thread that I have found weaving through man’s many belief systems is; God is Unconditional Love. I have yet to have anyone tell me, that this is not so. It seems to be accepted by all belief systems that are centered around a creator. If you are in disagreement with this statement then there would probably be no sense in you reading further.

Now it must be made clear in this example, that "unconditional," means, that there are no "conditions," to God’s Love. Do you understand and agree, that "unconditional" means no "conditions apply?" Be sure, because it gets more difficult to differentiate as we move along.

Do you understand that if there was a condition to God’s love, then God would be giving "conditional" love? Conditional love is not the same as unconditional love as described in the preceding paragraph. I have never heard or read anywhere that God gives conditional love, have you?

Love and freedom are the same, if there is a condition to freedom then it is not unconditional. Freedom is given from unconditional love. Freedom of choice is the same thing as unconditional love; they are all the same thing. If you can follow this understanding and accept it, then there is something further you need to understand.

This is extremely difficult for most all humans to do. Because love, freedom and choice are unconditional, there can be no "PUNISHMENT," for practicing them, once again "No Punishments." Here is where the so called enlightened fall by the wayside. They cannot accept any of these things without the recourse of punishment. You can practice unconditional love, unconditional freedom and unconditional choice with no punishments! God will never punish you! Retribution is a lie, it was all made up. Only "Man," will punish you. Anyone who tells you different, is not coming from unconditional love. They live in fear of you practicing these things. They do not understand what “unconditional,” means.

Most all who have read the first half of this article will not have problems with it until they get to the “No Punishment,” part. At this point man’s ego takes over and will try to reason his way out of agreeing with the principle. He will begin to say, yes I understand what unconditional means, but! Then he will start, you cannot have people running around doing whatever they want. There is a price (condition) for freedom. You can not freely love anyone you want, that is immoral (conditional). Our choices are limited by are colour, sexual orientation, creed, age, sex, geographic region (conditional).

If you buy into these conditions, then you are in direct contradiction with what you agreed with when you started reading this article. If you didn’t agree to the first part, then you have read farther then you were supposed to. You were warned! For those that did agree that God is unconditional love, and don’t understand the contradiction, let me explain. There seems to be a paradox here. Can unconditional love and conditional love exist at the same time? The answer is yes, because we have forgotten our heritage we have moved away from unconditional. God gives unconditional love, man does not!

This is where the contradiction comes from. We understand the love of God, and feel inferior. We can not except that unconditional love is who “we” really are, and therefore apply conditions to our love and freedom. We project our human emotions and feelings onto God effectively insulating ourselves from the reality of unconditional love. We attach certain conditions to his love. If we do not follow his will, we will be punished by him as we would punish those that would not do our will. Man’s love, freedom and choice are conditional because we have always had freedom of choice, to choose and accept those conditions that are conditional. It is paradoxal and appropriate that humanity should set conditions for itself and God has set NO conditions for him!

Who is it that is teaching us about conditional love? Who is actually separating us from the love of God? It is in the Newspapers and has been for weeks. I’m in Canada; it is August 08, 2003. For weeks now there has been a major controversy about legalized gay marriages. Who do you think is at the forefront of all the objections? Who is it that is using fear tactics to persuade politicians and supporters to change their policies? Who has come out and said that they fear for the souls of those supporters? It is the same institute that has for centuries, taught us of Gods "conditional," love. They have taught us that God’s love is unconditional, but we will be punished for practicing it, therefore have made it conditional. They have used fear, punishment and death to implant this lie into our belief systems. They have been as the false profit. The institute does not correctly reflect God’s love, nor come close to interpreting it. Their interpretations reflect only their fear the share with the rest of humanity.

As you reason these contradictions, listen to yourself. Are you coming from unconditional love, or are you reacting from fear? What ever you now believe, you will have chosen it from unconditional love. It will be your reality. You have unconditional freedom to live conditionally, in conditional love and freedom of choice.

At this moment try to imagine choosing to live unconditionally, try to choose between the two, conditional or unconditional. And if you chose the later, how would you condition yourself.

Feel the unconditional love as you make a free choice. As you make the choice you should notice that you are not being punished for it. That may come later, not from God but from those that would appose your choice. If nothing else understand the contradiction. But also understand that who you really are is "free." Do not fear for your soul, your soul can take care of itself and of course that is exactly what it is doing. It is the "BLIND FAITH," (which is not surrender) that leads you into darkness, when you do not question it.

Not taking responsibility for your own salvation has given power to those that would use your vulnerability to keep you on the straight and narrow. Not yours, but theirs.

The human ability to see "black" and call it "white," is a real blessing in a world of contradictions that require us to make a choice and believe nothing else. There is no one more blind than he who will not see. This has lead us into the notion of right and wrong, you are wrong, I am right. We both cannot be right, right?

If we could live with the choices of others not being as our own, we would free ourselves from the necessity of making any kind of choice and double the possibilities that lay before us. It would be another major step into expanding our enlightenment. To truly free humanity, mankind must see all aspects of itself as being free.

Roy E. Klienwachter is an ordained minister,light worker, writer and author of Spiritual New Age Wisdom books written in simple language with the eloguence of Zen wisdom.

http://www.klienwachter.com

Alcoholism Recovery: 12 Steps to Stay Sober Over the Christmas Holidays:

2006-11-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

One of the most difficult times of the year for those recovering from alcoholism is the Christmas holidays. If you find yourself struggling during the Christmas season, please remember that you are not alone. Help is only a phone call or a meeting away!
Here are some helpful and practical tips to keep you from taking that first drink.

1. Plan Each and Every Day of Your Holiday

Plan to spend the majority of your time with friends and family who are supportive of your recovery. If you are required to be present for a social gathering where alcohol is being served, bring a fellow AA member with you. Plan fun events and outings to replace your old drinking rituals.

2. Find an “Alkathon” in Your Area

During the Christmas season, some AA groups hold a marathon of meetings called an “Alkathon.” It is a time when the members of Alcoholics Anonymous gather together to celebrate their recovery from alcohol addiction. Many AA groups have meetings on the hour every hour to share their experience, strength and hope. If you are a member of the fellowship or think that you might have a problem with alcohol, you are welcome to attend. Check the local papers for an “Alkathon” in your area.

3. Ask for Support from Your Family and Friends

Those who are truly supportive of your recovery will be happy to help you throughout the holidays. Be up front and tell them your concerns.

4. Have a List of at Least Ten People you can call if you feel the Urge to Drink

Make a list and check it twice. Carry your cell phone and your list of names at all times. The urge to drink is very powerful and can happen at any time.

5. Don’t Forget about Regular Exercise

Regular exercise is an essential component of any balanced recovery program. If you have extra time on your hands, it is a great idea to get out and exercise. Examples include running, skating, cross country skiing, stretching, yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates or water aerobics. Instead of napping on the couch after dinner, go for a walk around the block.

6. Stay Away from Slippery Places

There is absolutely no reason to ever check out your former favorite drinking establishments. It is very likely that your old drinking buddies are still there and are still telling the same old stories.

7. Create New Traditions to replace your Old Drinking Patterns

Try something totally different during the holidays. Buy a new board game; take the family on a sleigh ride; prepare a family power point presentation. Use you imagination, be creative and have fun.

8. Write out a Daily Gratitude List

The quickest cure to get you out of the holiday blues is by counting your blessings. Be grateful for what you have by writing out a gratitude list every morning. Don’t stop writing until you have at least 10 items on your list.

9. Volunteer your Services to a Charitable Organization

There are many people in your community who are homeless and hungry. Why not volunteer to work at a soup kitchen or at a special Christmas dinner for those less fortunate than you? You will be helping not only the needy but yourself!

10. Write a Letter to yourself. How I Stayed Sober over Christmas.

The act of writing your ideas on paper is very powerful. Write down all the activities and events that will help you have healthy happy sober Christmas. Now take action on them and make this letter come true!

11. Avoid H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T. stands for:

• Hungry

• Angry

• Lonely

• Tired

There are very simple solutions for all of the above items. If you are hungry, get something to eat. If you are angry, talk to somebody about it. If you are lonely, go to a meeting or call a friend. If you are tired, get a good night’s sleep.

12. Live One Day at a time and Enjoy your Sobriety!

Stay in the moment. Have present time consciousness. Be in the now. These are all different ways of telling you to live 1 day at a time. Never mind about what happened or what could happen. Enjoy today. Live today. Celebrate your sobriety!

If you follow these simple steps, it is totally feasible to stay sober over the Christmas Holidays. Take action now! Print out this article and plan a Happy and Healthy holiday season.

Dr. Larry Smith Chiropractor and Author of:

Embrace the Journey of Recovery:
From Tragedy to Triumph!

Embrace the Journey of Recovery will passionately reignite your spirit and teach you how to confront, conquer and powerfully triumph over any life threatening illness! Experience the remarkable story of two courageous yet ordinary individuals and their astonishing recoveries from heartbreaking tragedy. The message is simple. They transformed their lives and you can too!

To find out more about this exciting new book click here:

http://embracingthejourneybook.com/

Positive Self-Talk

2006-11-22T20:28:00.000-08:00

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts, feelings, and your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,” you can begin to assert control over every part of your life.

Your self-talk determines the majority of your emotional life. The words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and how you feel about external events, will trigger the emotions of happiness or unhappiness that you experience. When you see things positively and you look for the good in every situation and in each person, you will become a very positive and optimistic person. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel moment to moment, you should make it a habit to only think and talk about what you want and keep your mind off of what you don’t want.

You are constantly faced with challenges, difficulties, and problems every day of your life. They are unavoidable and one of the inevitable parts of being human. But as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger person. When you look back over your life, you’ll see that you are the kind of person that you are because of all the difficulties and problems that you have had to overcome in your life. Without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know to developed the character and strength that you have at this point in your life.

Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. Having a positive mental attitude is indispensable for success and happiness. It is the key to success in business, and it is vital to building strong relationships with other people. Everyone wants to be around a positive person with a cheerful attitude towards life. But no one wants to be around a negative person who is always pessimistic about everything. Your ability to develop and maintain a positive mental attitude, no matter what the situation may be, will play a critical role in any success you achieve.

One of the best ways to define a positive mental attitude is having “a constructive and positive response to adversity.” It is only when you are confronted with a setback or adversity that you really know if you have a positive attitude or not. Anyone can be positive when things are going well. It is only when things are going against you, that you are able to demonstrate to yourself and others, that you have a positive character and personality.

One of the common characteristics of all high achieving men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary setbacks and disappointments. They accept them as a normal and natural part of their life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when they come up, successful people learn from them and rise above them. They continue to move forward towards their goals.

Optimistic people develop the habit of talking to themselves in constructive ways. Whenever they experience adversity of any kind, they immediately describe it to themselves in a such a way that it looses its ability to trigger negative emotions. They are able to exert a sense of control by how they describe any event or situation to themselves.

There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped for fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and unhappiness. We feel hurt and disillusioned. We react just as though we had been punched in the “emotional solar plexus.”

A person who is positive and optimistic is resilient and bounces back fast when he or she encounters a problem or setback of any kind. He or she responds quickly to an adverse event and interprets it as being temporary and only external. An optimistic person takes full control of his or her inner dialogue and counters any negative feelings by immediately reframing the event so that appears positive in some way.

Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, if you deliberately choose the positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive. Since your thoughts and feelings determine you actions, if you keep your words and thoughts positive, you will automatically be a more positive person and move more rapidly toward your goals.

It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis. When a problem or difficulty comes up you must learn to change your language from negative to positive. For example, you should learn to use the word situation instead of problem. A problem is something you wrestle and struggle with. It represents a potential loss and difficultly. A situation, on the other hand, is just something that you deal with. The event is the same. But the way you interpret the event to yourself is what makes it sound and appear completely different.

An even better word to substitute for problem is the word challenge. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.” The word challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to and that makes you stronger. It is again the same situation, only the word that you are using to describe it is different. As a result, your emotional response will be different as well.

The best of all possible words for any event or situation is the word opportunity. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I am faced with an unexpected opportunity.” Within ever difficulty or problem, there lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity or benefit. If you focus your attention on finding out what the valuable lesson is, you will always find it.

You should start your day in front of a mirror saying affirmations, such as “I like myself,” “I am the best,“ and “I can do it.” These are personal and positive affirmations that will build your levels of self confidence and self-esteem. You should say these affirmations out loud in front of a mirror at least 50 times a day. By doing this, you will be driving these new positive thoughts deep into your subconscious. At first when you do this, you’ll feel kind of funny doing it, only because your mind over many years has been programmed with so much negativity that it will take time to reprogram your mind with these new positive affirmations.

The hallmark of the truly successful and happy person is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The high achieving individual has the ability to continue talking to himself or herself in a positive and optimistic way no matter what the situation is. They are always calm, clear, and completely under control. As a result, they are able to exert a far greater sense of control and influence over their environment, and are less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted by problems or difficulties.

The starting point of becoming a more positive person is to monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and words positive and consistent with your goals. Keep your mind focused on what you want and on becoming the person you want to be.

Remember that it is impossible to learn, grow and become successful without adversity and difficulties. You must rise above them in order to become a better person. So, welcome each difficulty as a learning experience and look into the situation to find something good or beneficial in it.

Always, keep your thoughts on your future and on your goals. Constantly think about the person you want to become. When things go wrong temporarily, respond by saying to yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every situation in my life.” Resolve to be cheerful and pleasant in every situation. Resist every temptation to respond to a situation negatively. View disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and talk to yourself and others about it in a positive and optimistic way.

When you practice positive self-talk, and keep your words and your mental pictures consistent with your goals, nothing can stop you from being the success you are meant to be.

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. A former ad agency executive and marketing consultant, Joe’s work in personal development focuses on helping his clients identify hidden marketable assets that create windfall opportunities and profits, as well as sound personal happiness and peace.

Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

Oxycodone Addiction - It's Just Medicine Right?

2006-11-22T16:17:00.000-08:00

Oxycodone is an narcotic analgesic used to control pain and an anti-cough medication. A common brand name is Oxycontin. Oxycodone addiction and use has been increasingly dramatically in the past ten years. In fact, the average use of oxycodone in the United States has increased by 300% of the past decade. Likewise, the number of emergency room visits related to oxycodone addiction and use has increased by 500%.

Since oxycodone is meant to be taken orally, it has become an attractive drug of choice for people suffering from addiction to opiates that normally are taken via needle. The saftey factor of the fact that it is a timed release drug, is gotten around by crushing it up and snorting it or disoloving it and shooting it up.To satisfy their need for oxycodone, people suffering from oxycodone addiction call in phony prescriptions and steal hydrocodone from pharmacies.

Oxycodone addiction affects people of all ages. Pill addiction is often looked at as a white collar problem that is used only by professionals. In reality, oxyocodone addiction is steadily increasing among all groups of people. Yet, the most likely group of people to suffer from oxyocodone addiction is 10-40 year old white women.

Recovering from hydrocodone addiction can be difficult because hydrocodone creates both a mental and a physical addiction. In the person suffering from hydrocodone addiction, the hydrocodone stimulates opiate receptors in the brain. For the person with a hydrocodone addiction, this results in feeling extreme pleasure.

A feeling of relaxation and satisfaction that can last for many hours then follows the initial high created by oxyocodone in the person with a oxyocodone addiction. Along with the feeling of relaxation, the respiratory system is affected causing a decrease in the rate of breathing. This slow down in the person with the addiction can be fatal.

Traditionally, oxyocodone addiction treatment dealt with both the psychological side of addiction and the symptoms of hydrocodone addiction withdrawal. This method, however, has not proven to be a highly effective method for treating this addiction.

A newer method for dealing with oxyocodone addiction withdrawal is called Accelerated Neuro-Regulation (ANR). ANR looks at hydrocodone addiction as disease that needs to be treated with medical techniques. This method has shown a greater effectiveness in the treatment of oxyocodone addiction.

No matter the method used to treat oxy addiction, it is imperative for the person suffering from hydrocodone addiction to get help with his problem it can be a matter of life or death.

The author, Bill Urell, reviews only the best diet and fitness plans, tips, and articles that promote healthier lifestyles. Visit us and claim your FREE ebook, 101 Romantic Ideas as a welcome gift ==>http://www.online-weight-loss-resources.com

Stress Causing People to "Super Size"

2006-11-22T09:27:00.000-08:00

Stress Causing People to “Super Size”

by Georgianna Donadio D.C., M.Sc., Ph.D.

It is currently reported that two out of three adults is either overweight or obese, and the numbers continue to climb. As a result, statistics demonstrate that a significant portion of our population is being diagnosed with chronic conditions, such as diabetes and heart disease. Even more shocking is that we are experiencing these conditions at earlier ages than previously reported. It is not unusual today, to hear about a young person in their 20’s diagnosed with mature onset diabetes, normally developed during middle-age.

On May 7, 2004, a controversial and award-winning movie aimed at exploring the obesity epidemic hit theatres. In “Super Size Me”, a tongue-in-cheek look at the legal, financial and physical costs of our hunger for fast food, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock explores the horrors of school lunch programs, declining health education and physical education classes, food addictions and the extreme measures people take to lose weight. As a centerpiece of the film, Spurlock puts his own body on the line, living on nothing but McDonald's for 30 days following three rules:

1) Eat only what is available over the counter
2) No supersizing unless offered
3) Consume every item on the menu at least once

In the end, Spurlock has a weight gain of 24 pounds and experiences harrowing visits to the doctor. The issues that are explored in “Super Size Me” beg the question, what has changed in our environment to cause this obesity problem to reach epidemic proportions? Furthermore, what is causing people to overeat as we do?

A groundbreaking study, reported in 2003 by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, found that between 1977 and 1996, portion sizes for key food groups grew markedly in the United States, not only at fast-food restaurants but also in homes and at conventional restaurants. In particular, portion sizes for salty and sugary foods, essentially, “comfort foods” experienced the most dramatic portion size increases. For example, the USDA's recommended serving size for a cookie is half an ounce, while the average cookie sold in restaurants was found to be 700% larger.

The by-products of our affluent American society, envied by many around the world, have a definite dark side, our obesity rate, for starters. In a culture where more is better and disposable income is abundant, when it comes to eating we have developed a “more food, more conveniently and more often” attitude.

Stress: A Pre-Cursor to Obesity

Certainly, no one forces us to eat more than our body needs, so what is driving this “hunger” for more? Over the last two decades, almost proportionally to the dramatic increase of food consumed and chronic disease diagnoses, the amount of stress in our society and on each of us individually has increased significantly. Stress is the term medical researcher Hans Selye, M.D., PhD, gave to the experience our bodies go through when we have to adjust or adapt to the various changes our bodies experience during the course of the day. While many of us think of stress in relationship to emotional states, many other factors can exert an equally detrimental effect on our bodies as well. When we do not get enough sleep or rest, work or exercise too much, nutritional status, have an infection, have allergies, injuries or trauma, undergo dental or surgical procedures, have emotional upsets, or deal with any aspect of reproductive function such a pregnancy, menopause, etc., our bodies must chemically and neurologically adapt in order to survive. Part of this adaptation process relies heavily on the nutrition that is available for the kidney’s adrenal glands to produce the adaptive hormones. It is often this aspect of stress that can lead to overeating, and what’s more, overeating the types of foods that cause unhealthy weight gain.

How it works

Thanks to the work of M.I.T. Professor Judith Wurtman, Ph.D. and others we now understand the significant role that a neurotransmitter or “chemical messenger” called Serotonin plays in producing our cravings for complex carbohydrates and sugars, two of the largest contributors to unhealthy weight gain. Serotonin along with other neurotransmitters, are produced by our bodies as "feel good" hormones. Under stress, we do not have enough of these hormones and we become motivated to "self-sooth" by behaviors that lead to the increase of Serotonin. Overeating of carbohydrate and fatty-rich foods or “comfort foods” such as cookies, ice cream, etc. significantly increases these hormones. Many addictions such as smoking, alcohol, and drugs are also attempts to self-sooth and increase Serotonin, but no other addictive or unhealthy behavior is as socially acceptable and as easily available as over eating. We can do it anywhere, anytime, alone or with company. It is no wonder we have such a love affair with eating.

In addition, our bodies need for certain nutrients, specifically protein, Vitamins A, C, and E, unsaturated fatty acids, cholesterol, and minerals, skyrocket when we are “adapting” under stress. Often, if we do not stop the stress cycle or do not appropriately supplement these nutrients, we can turn to overeating to satisfy the body’s demands for the fuel it needs to keep dealing with the stress we are experiencing.

For a period of time, foods that comfort, sooth or supplement can make us feel calmer until our level of Serotonin drops again or until we become more exhausted and need to feed ourselves, yet again. Then, we start the cycle all over and consume more carbohydrate and fatty rich foods until we feel better. This is the cycle of self-medication or self-soothing practiced in homes, offices, restaurants, automobiles and yes, even bathrooms across America. The long-term effect of such behaviors, apart from obesity and escalating chronic diseases, is that our nervous systems are being hyper-stimulated. Anxiety, exhaustion, depression, overeating and insomnia are just a few of the symptoms we experience when our nervous systems are working on overload.

As a result, it is no wonder that within the last year, low-carbohydrate diets have proven effective for so many people. Approximately 20% of Americans or 20 million people are currently on a low-carb diet. For many of us, our stress level is a major factor in the over consumption of carbohydrates, therefore reducing or eating normal amounts of carbohydrates is spawning weight loss. The real issue, however, is how long can we reduce are carbohydrate loading without reducing our stress levels and the behaviors that create elevated stress in the first place?

Causes of Stress

Prior to the early 1970’s, the majority of family units were structured as a one wage earner household where the male worked and the female stayed at home, taking care of the house and family. Driven largely by social and socio-economic factors, all of that has changed. Now, the overwhelming majority of families include both parents working and we find ourselves on a treadmill of more work, more responsibilities, more demands and non-stop scheduling that has many of us in a state of physical and, at times, emotional exhaustion.

Added to the mix is our competitive culture, which often leads to isolation or a “them against us” thinking. Isolation of this nature causes additional “hidden” stress. A Hindu Vendata truth is that “the whole world is one family”. It is said that there is only one disease, the disease of separateness; separating oneself from the awareness that as members of the human family, we are one living organism. The drama created by a “one-up” or “one-down” dynamic, that we find in competitive societies, can lead to the exhaustion and the psychosocial behavioral issues which can contribute to overeating.

Understanding Exhaustion and its’ Effect on Obesity

The tipping point at which our bodies can no longer compensate or adapt from the stress it is under, is based in large part on the threshold of nutritional competency and the state of integrity of our nervous system. When our central nervous system, which governs every cell in our body and makes life possible, is not working efficiently, we have a decrease in bodily function and the ability to adapt to the world we live in. Chronic Fatigue Syndromes, CFS, are rampant in our culture today and growing at an alarming rate because of the over stimulation and increased demands placed on our nervous systems. Add to this inadequate nutrition and a decreased ability of our bodies to digest and absorb properly because of the stress, and we see the foundation of the epidemic of chronic diseases being currently reported.

What is so shocking for us, as Americans, is that while we live in one of the most affluent societies ever to exist on earth and have one of the most technologically advanced medical systems we are raked at approximately twenty-sixth in the world health Olympics. This is not the failure of our medical system, but in fact, the failure to live in our bodies mindfully and respectfully, taking time for rest, proper nutrition, reflection, intimacy with self and others and serving the common good of society. It is this imbalance that leads us to chronic stress, which leads to physical and, if you will, spiritual exhaustion that is producing the levels of chronic diseases and the rampant obesity we see today.

Self-Esteem and Health

We have an innate understanding of how we need to choose to live to be healthy.

Yet, adages about health i.e., “early to be, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise”, are often ignored in place of our instant gratification or immediate comfort.

Physical labor has taken a back seat to “mind work”, and today we work harder than ever before to have the money to buy a membership to a gym or spa so we can do the physical exercise we need to be healthy and attractive. However, rarely do we actually have the time to go to the gym we pay membership fees to. Statistically, the average gym membership is used for the first 4 – 6 weeks after signing up and then falls off dramatically. Workout facilities count on this phenomenon when planning their recruitment and enrollment numbers. Likewise, diet plans and weight loss centers know that 90% or more of their customers will continue to have body weight issues, in spite of their best efforts to re-direct to a different way of eating. Why?

The Oprah Syndrome

One of the most powerful, successful people in the world, Oprah Winfrey is a brilliant example of the “super size” syndrome in our culture. With every possible service, care and expert available to her, Oprah has continued to struggle with significant weight gain and loss for many years. In 2001, a chart published in a popular magazine, documents her weight gain and loss over the previous 20 years. Even during the height of her popularity and professional success, her body weight rose to dangerously elevated levels. The reasons most of us give for not taking care of ourselves include; not having enough time to shop for or cook the right foods; not being sure what’s best for our body type; not enough money for domestic help so we can exercise, meditate or relax; stress over money and achieving success. Oprah is an individual who has more than enough money and success to eliminate all those concerns, yet in spite of that she still does not consistently maintain a proper body weight.

Driven by personal history and ambition, Oprah offers a perfect example of the potential outcome of Serotonin driven self-soothing, which invites us to ask and answer questions about self-esteem and self care. When we understand the relationship between our unconscious mind, our self-esteem and the serotonin connection, it becomes quite clear that what is at the core of our “super sizing” is not solved by the “diet of the month” or the next “how to” bestseller. Rather, an examination of our personal worldview, our ego state, our treatment and regard for nature and for others, what we value, what we believe in, how much we consume and how much we accumulate. When these aspects of self are aligned with choices that lead to moderation rather than ambition, that produce balance rather than extremes, that debunk the thinking that “more is better”, we then select the foods we innately know are healthy, even when we must choose from the fast food menu.

In a culture comprised of 5% of the world population, using 75% of the world’s resources, we have come to accept excess as a way of life and a standard to subscribe to. In the 1980’s, Robin Leach’s television show, “Life Styles of the Rich and Famous”, tainted our appetites for a standard of over consumption that has brought us to where we are today – obese and chronically diseased.

Take a Tip from the Gurus

Eastern philosophies offer us an opportunity to re-think our approach to the way we live. Quite opposite from our “in your face” attitude of self-manifestation, Eastern wisdom invites us to ponder, “how much do I really need; to do; to have; to eat; to own; to control; to be content with my life; and what is the role of gratitude in my life?” Shouldn’t having a calm, well functioning nervous system, the source of all life in the body, be a main objective for all of us instead of trying to trick the body into doing what we want with the latest diet craze or vitamin pills available?

Change the Question

It may be time to change the questions we not only ask ourselves, but the questions we are asked as consumers. Maybe, if when making his fast food purchases, Morgan Spurlock was asked the question “super size or down size, sir?” the choices he might have made could have resulted in significant weight loss rather than weight gain, but then Spurlock would not have a movie to make, or the millions that will be realized from it.

Georgianna Donadio D.C., M.Sc., Ph.D., has conducted a private practice in Whole Person Health Care since 1976. She is the Founder and Director of The New England School of Whole Health Education, the pioneer of Whole Health Education and a provider of patient and healthcare professional education since 1977. For more information, visit www.wholehealtheducation.org or call 1-888-354-HEAL (4325).

Hypnotize Yourself Right Now: 10 Steps To Hypnotize Yourself Today

2006-11-21T20:11:00.000-08:00

I want to show you a really interesting technique to hypnotize yourself. It is known as the Betty Erickson technique as she devised it to hypnotize yourself. Betty’s husband Milton Erickson is someone I have referred to on several occasions in my work as a renowned hynotherapist and psychiatrist and someone whose work seems to hypnotize me all the time. This technique to hypnotize yourself is entirely attributed to her.
Hypnotize Yourself Betty Erickson Method:

This method to hypnotize yourself is based on the following premises and ideologies. While there are a number of counter-examples to these notions, they will be of value in understanding and utilizing this method to hypnotize yourself.

We think our thoughts in pictures, sounds and feelings.

When we think in pictures we refer to the external things we see and the internal images that we create. This includes remembered images ("What does your bedroom look like?"), constructed images ("What would it look like if it were redecorated?"), as well as the actual, real things we see about us.

When we think in sounds these are the things we hear and the internal sounds that we create. This includes remembered words or sounds ("Think of your favorite pop song"), imagined words or sounds ("Imagine that song being sung by someone else"), and also includes your internal dialogue as well as all of the real, actual, live sounds around us.

Thirdly, are the things we feel. These can be actual physical sensations or imagined ones. Can you imagine being at the seaside and paddling in the cool sea?

Most of us use one of these ways of thinking more than the others; though we each use all three of them. Since this is usually the case, an individual who "thinks" in images wouldn't hypnotize themselves the best simply by visualising.

Focused Attention:

Stereotypical images of hypnotists holding watches or other fixation devices for clients to stare at are the result of much misunderstanding about hypnosis. I for one have long ago banished my velveteen smoking jacket and watch on a chain for more modern methods of hypnotic induction! The experience of hypnosis is typically an inwardly focused one in which we move away from the environment around us and turn our attention inward. This technique to hypnotize yourself is doing that even more.

Hypnotize Yourself Technique:

Step 1: Find a comfortable position and get your self relaxed and settled. Get into a position that you will be able to maintain easily for the time you are going to hypnotize yourself. It can be sitting or lying down, though sitting is recommended to prevent you from falling asleep. Get yourself centered, just looking in front of you and breathing slowly and easily. Let yourself relax.

Step 2: Think about the length of time that you intend to spend in this state and make a statement to yourself about it such as "I am going hypnotize myself for 20 minutes ... " (or however long you want) You will be delighted to discover how well you "internal clock" can keep track of the time for you.

Step 3: What would you like to get out of this? Make a statement to yourself about the reason you want to hypnotize yourself. In this process, you allow your unconscious mind to work on an issue rather than giving suggestions throughout, (that is another technique) so our purpose statement should reflect that fact. Here's how I recommend you phrase it to yourself : " I am going to hypnotize myself for the purpose of allowing my unconscious mind to make the adjustments that are appropriate to assist me in _____________."

Filling in the blank with what you want to achieve such as "developing more confidence in social situations." The actual words aren't nearly as important as the fact your statement acknowledges that you are turning this process over to your unconscious mind.

Step 4: Looking in front of you, notice three things, one at a time, that you see. Go slowly, pausing for a moment on each. It is preferable that they be small things, such as a spot on the wall, a doorknob, the corner of a picture frame, etc. Some people like to name the items as they look at them - "I see the hinge on the door frame".

Step 5: Now turn your attention to your auditory channel and notice, one by one, three things that you hear. (You will notice that this allows you to incorporate sounds that occur in the environment rather than being distracted by them.)

Step 6: Next, attend to your feelings and notice three sensations that you can feel right now. Again, go slowly from one to the next. It is useful to use sensations that usually are outside of your awareness, such as the weight of your glasses, the feeling of your wrist watch, the texture of your shirt on your body, etc.

Step 7: Continue the process using two Visuals, then two auditories and then two kinaesthetics. Then, in the same manner, continue (slowly) with one of each.

You have now completed the "external" portion of the process to hypnotize yourself. Now it's time to begin the "internal" part.

Step 8: Now close your eyes. Now, bring an image into your mind. Don't work too hard at this; this is fun, remember? You can construct an image or simply take what comes. It may be a point of light, it may be a beautiful beach, or it could be your car or an apple. I shall not scare you with the ideas that randomly pop into my mind. If something comes to you, just use it. If nothing comes, feel free to put something in your mind.

Step 9: Pause and let a sound come into your awareness or generate one and name it. Although this is technically the internal part, if you should hear a sound outside or in the room with you, it is OK to use that. Remember that the idea is to incorporate things that you experience rather than being distracted by them. Typically, in the absence of environmental sounds; I often imagine hearing whooping hallelujahs from a gospel choir; don’t ask me why, that just happens in my mind.

Step 10: Become aware of a feeling and name it. It is preferable to do this internally - use your imagination. (I feel the warmth of the sun on my face) However, as with the auditory, if you actually have a physical sensation that gets your attention, use that.

Repeat the process with two images, then two sounds, then two feelings. Repeat the cycle once again using three images, three sounds, and three feelings.

Then to complete the process, open your eyes when your alloted time is up - It is not unusual to feel a little bit "spaced out" or wander off somewhat. At first some people think that they have fallen asleep. But generally you will find yourself coming back automatically at the end of the allotted time that you set before you chose to hypnotize yourself. Trust that you weren't sleeping and that your unconscious mind was doing what you asked of it.

Many people don't get all the way through the process. That's perfectly all right. If you should complete the process before the time has ended, just continue with 4 images, sounds, feelings, then 5 and so on. It is a simple way of just getting you acquainted with how to hypnotize yourself.

Adam is the best selling author of 'The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis' please visit his website for a vast range of resources from the fields of hypnosis and to receive your amazing, free, instantly downloadable hypnosis session: http://www.adam-eason.com

Dr. Wayne Dyer - 22 Lessons I Learned

2006-11-21T10:44:00.001-08:00

Dr. Wayne Dyer is a popular motivational speaker and author. His recent books include The Power of Intention, Ten Secrets For Success & Inner Peace, Getting in the Gap and Everyday Wisdom. I've been studying Dyer's principles for the past 22 years and here are the top 22 lessons I've learned from him:

You get whatever you think about most. Whatever you think about expands… and therefore, we must be careful to not think about what we do not want.

You can never get enough of what you don't want. Why? Because we're thinking about what we don't want and we keep getting more of it. From an abundance and prosperity perspective, it can be costly (meaning you can lose great opportunities) to contemplate the conditions you do not want to produce for your life…for fear of getting more of what you don't want.

Think from the end. I'm a big believer in starting with the end outcome and working backwards to reach it. Dyer takes a more mental approach to it as he encourages you to contemplate yourself surrounded by the people, events, and things that represent your version of a "perfect life."

An attitude of gratitude will take you a long way. Rumi said, "Trade your knowledge for bewilderment." It is good to be in awe of all that you have attracted into your life and the more you are grateful for that - the more that will flow freely into your life.

Paraphrasing Dyer: There are no branches of any trees that think it is wise to fight with each other. In other words, there is no value in fighting with others as we are all from the same metaphorical human tree of life. There is an old zen saying that goes something like this: Whatever you are for, strengthens you and whatever you are against, weakens you.

It is only natural to have abundance and prosperity in your life. It is unnatural to resist the gifts you have been given in life to share with others. Therefore act confidently with a "knowing" that you already have all of the resources you need to succeed.

You must be independent of the opinion of others. No one can make you into what you are not. You are responsible to no one for your actions and thoughts except yourself. In addition, you are not in control of your reputation. All you can control is yourself and how you act on a day to day basis.

You alone choose your emotional state each day. No one can make you feel any different than you choose to feel on any day. Therefore take full responsibility for the emotional states that you choose to embrace each day.

You are not your body nor are you the possessions that you believe you have. You are timeless; perfect; …just the way you have forever been and will forever be. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. Live your truth.

Meditation can help you solve problems and achieve inner peace. While mental visualization of your intentions or goals are a good thing to do, think of "meditation" as quieting your mind to achieve a place of "no where" -- It's one of the best ways to center yourself.

Your EGO is often at odds with universal laws and principles. Best to identify when you are acting from ego vs. acting from your true authentic self. Your ego wants you to feel special and different than others but the reality is that we share more in common than we have differences. Focus on radical humility and respect for yourself and others in order to keep your ego at bay. You can only extend to another that which you are in truth.

You can only give others what you have inside of yourself. Therefore to give love away to others, you must cultivate love for yourself FIRST. Dyer uses the metaphor of squeezing an orange - asking you what comes out when you squeeze it. Most people answer, "orange juice" comes out. Why? Because that is what is inside. When humans are squeezed, what comes out of them is what they harbor inside of themselves. Harbor love, acceptance, joy, confidence, peace and harmony towards yourself so that you can radiate it towards others.

Your relationship with others does not really exist. You only have your perception of your relationship with others to act on. Therefore you must focus on making sure you perceive your relationship with others on the terms that you hope for the future of the relationship to exist. In other words, you must see harmony within yourself and then with the other person. You must always have within you what you wish to see or give another.

Our intentions create our reality. We each create our own personal realities by what we focus on and intend to happen for our experiences. Therefore we have an enormous responsibility to choose our intentions carefully.

Be attached to nothing but rather connected with what you want for your life. Attachment can cloud your ability to attract what you want. When you let go and surrender to your perfect self, you will attract what you desire.

There is never any scarcity of opportunity, but rather there is only scarcity of resolve to seize the opportunities that knock on our door every day. Scarcity does not exist unless we choose to embrace it…therefore, it is better to never embrace scarcity only embrace the possibility for abundance.

When the teacher is ready, the students will appear. When the student is ready, the teachers will appear. We can not learn the lessons we are here to learn if we are not open and receptive to learn. Do not resist the possibility to change, but rather expand and become more open.

No one was ever hurt by practicing random acts of kindness. The law of reciprocity always rewards kindness and even more-so when you are kind without any expectation of needing a return. There is no difference in the words "giving" and "receiving."

The best way to maximize book sales is to release related products that can be purchased. For example, a book could be followed up with an audio tape, audio CD, DVD, flip calendar, playing card decks and more. Each of these creates additional revenue streams that help to maximize the ROI from each published works. (My marketing brain wanted to insert this lesson in here ;-)

Judgment: One of our purposes in life is to find a way to free ourselves of our need to judge others in a negative light. This is the work of our ego and judging others prevents us from seeing the good in them. There is no value in judging others poorly. As we see others, we also see ourselves.

Dyer says, "It's Never Crowded Along the Extra Mile." That means that we must always give more than we expect to receive. In doing so, we join the small percentage of achievers that consistently go above and beyond the call of duty to serve others. The rewards are often disproportionate for those who go the extra mile vs. those who only do the minimum they need to get by. We give without expectations.

Trust in yourself and in doing so, you trust in the very wisdom that created you. It is impossible to become a no-limit person if you focus on limitations…therefore only focus on what you want to attract for your life. You already are complete, whole and perfect. Trust in the perfection of your life.

About The Author:

Chris Knight is the humble moderator of the fan discussion board for Dr. Wayne Dyer: Wayne-Dyer.InspiresYOU.com -- He invites you to drop by, register for free, and join the discussion. It's by fans and for fans of Dr. Wayne Dyer, and as such, is not connected directly with Dr. Wayne Dyer.

More about who Dr. Wayne Dyer is: Affectionately called the "father of motivation" by his fans, is one of the most widely known and respected people in the field of self-empowerment. He became a well-known author with his bestselling book, Your Erroneous Zones, and has gone on to write many other self-help classics, including Meditations for Manifesting, Staying on the Path, Your Sacred Self, Everyday Wisdom, and You'll See It When You Believe It.

How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child

2006-11-20T20:39:00.000-08:00

Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around us, due to intolerance, and many of us blame it on somebody else. Parents teach their children, all the time, and when one of us displays “road rage,” while our child is in the car, we teach a brand new skill set.

Although, road rage is inappropriate behavior, at any time, and can get you killed, most children who are exposed to it, will duplicate the actions of their parents, when they are old enough to drive.

So the first step, is to set an example and, possibly, use some of these ideas, for yourself. Studies show that anger causes atherosclerosis, the build-up of plaques in the arteries, that is a major factor in developing high blood pressure, heart disease, heart attack, and premature death.

Also, during a “temper tantrum,” adrenaline and blood pressure levels rise beyond normal. This behavior is more dangerous to parent’s bodies due to the normal “wear and tear” already existing.

Now, you may be convinced that anger can kill you, but let’s look at one more factor. You could hurt someone else, find yourself in prison, or get yourself killed due to inciting violence against others. There are other people, who are having difficulty dealing with anger management too.

Back to our children: All children need exercise and they are naturally full of energy. Look at any other species, and you will see the same behavior. Should we drug our dogs, cats, and parrots, when they display youthful exuberance?

Children have to run, jump, and shout. So let them play in the back yard, in a park, and get them involved in sports, Yoga, dance, or martial arts. You will never regret letting your child enjoy life, constructively learn in the process, and just be a kid.

For all of us, there is a time to be quiet and a time to shout. Children need years to learn this, so let’s keep them active in the process. Keep them away from the television, Internet, and video games, except for “rainy days.” Coloring books, board games, and reading are also good activities for rainy days.

A heavy bag is a great tool for letting anger out. You and your child can use it together. You can learn to punch and kick it, for the aerobic benefits, as well. If you have a friend who is a boxer or martial artist, you could get some pointers. After just a 20-minute session, I guarantee you, and your child, will have dealt with anger - there will be little, if any, left.

Teach your child forgiveness, through your own example. I am not asking you to let people “walk all over you.” However, let grudges go; life is really too short to keep a feud going.

You can also control your child’s “circle of friends,” just by getting him or her involved in, group activities such as: League sports, dance, yoga, or martial arts. The parents who have their children in these activities want the best for them and are willing to sacrifice their time, or money, to get it.

This will keep your child busy, happy, and active, with a pre-selected crowd of friends, who have parents that care. This is a “win – win” situation and well worth the investment.

This is not to say that every child you run into, at these functions, will be perfect, but in the above mentioned activities, all of them are structured, adult-supervised, and rules for behavior are in place. This form of organization becomes a habit, your child will follow these guidelines, and bring them home.

Here is another idea that will help. Have your child take care of a pet or a plant, every day. Children love to care for animals or plants, but they still need supervision. The result of this will be, your child learns compassion.

Compassion will keep anger “in check” every time.

Paul Jerard, is a co-owner and the director of Yoga teacher training at: Aura Wellness Center, in North Providence, RI. He has been a certified Master Yoga teacher since 1995. He is a master instructor of martial arts, with multiple Black Belts, four martial arts teaching credentials, and was recently inducted into the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame. He teaches Yoga, martial arts, and fitness to children, adults, and seniors in the greater Providence area. Recently he wrote: Is Running a Yoga Business Right for You? - for Yoga students, who may be considering a new career as a Yoga teacher.

http://www.yoga-teacher-training.org

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Jesus Who Gives Me Strength

2006-11-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

"...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 11b - 13, NIV.

From the time I can remember, I have loved and had an affiinty with critters. When asked as a young girl what I was going to be when I grew up, I would always say a veterinarian. However, that did not happen. My life took a downward spiral that led me away from God's purpose for my life into a world of sin which greatly detracted from my goals. While my love for animals never abated nor changed, my direction did.

I truly misspent my time and yet I can look back now and see that everything I've done has still led to God's purpose for my life in the manner He gifted me with. I maybe didn't become a veterinarian, I did work with them for years. In fact, I learned a lot of different vocations in working with animals which has all led to me being in the holistic pet care industry.

Again, what has that to do with being able to do all things through Christ Jesus? Well, He gave me this passion. He gave me this desire. He gives us these goals and dreams to serve Him with. He also gives us the strength and endurance to fulfill those desires. Isn't that amazing? We think it's all on our own power at times and energy, when in reality it is all from Him for His glory!

This last week was very trying in many ways including the loss of Pope John Paul II. While I am not a Catholic (was when I was growing up), I feel the world has lost a true child of God while God has gained another son into His kingdom. I haven't been sad for that very reason and in fact have been encouraged by the Pope's life but it is the end of an era leaving a bit of uncertainty. Again though, God is in controll

The week was trying because while two partners and I pursue a new online venture in holistic pet care seminars, a veterinarian who was initially involved decided to bail out. He did so because partly he couldn't figure out some of the technical stuff. I can totally understand that though. What I don't understand, however, is the way he left -with a stabbing attack upon me, my partners, the internet community we are using as our platform, the support team, even the fact that I'm not as educated as he. In fact he even attacked our website and the fact that we didn't glorify him as the week's featured instructor. He went so far as to attack our dream and that he hopes I find a particular little venture I can actually do.

While I've tried various ventures to go forth with this particular veterinarian, nothing seemed to work out. It all felt forced. Rather than continue to stress out and wonder why no one was even signing up for his class, I prayed. That's what I should've done in the first place. Why is it, it's always our last resort instead of our first? Our strength and power come from God alone and yet we try to go upon our own strength so often.

It was amazing how much of the weight of this troubling situation lifted once I prayed and received clarity from God on this whole thing. While I didn't yet know that this doctor would attack me (and when he did, it did hurt a lot), I did know instantly that it wasn't going to work with him on our team.

Once I received the very hurtful and veiled ugliness of that particular email, and I did cry (a lot), I began to pray and ask God for His direction and strength. Funny thing is, an encouraging story I posted on the IVWCC RSS channel came to mind "Tiny Frogs". I laughed out loud knowing God was telling me to go forth, and to grow some more character!

I'll backtrack a bit here and say that in a nutshell the Tiny Frogs story is about a bunch of tiny little frogs who were going to have a race to the top of a big building. It was a daunting task for these little frogs but they all knew they could do it. There was a huge crowd at the bottom of the building initially cheering them on as they went forth to conquer this building. However, after a while many of the frogs got very tired, and then the crowd started to turn, telling them things like "You'll never make it! Turn back! You're gonna fall!" and on and on. Eventually one by one all the frogs dropped out except one little frog who never wavered but kept his eye on the goal and he made it all the way to the top. When he was later interviewed he was asked why he was able to make it but not the others. He went "what? can't hear you". He was deaf! He couldn't hear the naysayers so he just kept on going!!

Moral of the story is, when it is God's will for us to accomplish His purpose for our lives and His voice is the only one we listen to while on that purposeful mission, we'll accomplish that goal upon the strength and power of our Savior Jesus! By serving others, we are serving our God.

Kim Bloomer is a holistic pet care consultant. Visit her RSS channel at Aspenbloom WellPet or her website Aspenbloom Pet Care

Child's Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System

2006-11-19T14:44:00.000-08:00

In today's mental health system there is a pattern of fraud and coercion that takes way the freedoms and dignity of children and their families. Children are receiving stigmatizing labels and being prescribed psychotropic drugs with many untoward effects. Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz, MD made the comment that if an individual hit us with a blackjack and robbed us of our dignity we would call them thugs, yet psychiatrists label and drug children and rob them of their dingity and nothing is said. All in the name of profit. Rarely, if never are the families given informed consent. Szasz has also stated, "From a sociological point of view, psychiatry is a secular institution to regulate domestic relations. From my point of view, it is child abuse." Families are provided with literature that appears so matter of fact but is funded by the pharmaceutical companies and tainted with their bias. According to the Pughkeepsie Journal, the 'support' or should it be said front group for Children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder received substantial funds from the pharmaceutical companies: "CHADD received $315,000 from drug companies in the year ending June 2000, about 12 percent of its budget."

Children are being beaten, improperly restrained, physically and sexually abused, and emotionally scarred in residential treatment programs. Juvenile probation officials are failing to understand the emotional distress of our children, they are submitting to this "psychiatric Gestapo". Educators rather than finding new methods of shaping our children's learning are falling into the trap of psychiatric 'solutions' as well. Never could it be that a school has simply failed to help a child learn, rather it is always the child denigrated and labeled as 'disordered'. There are loving and concerned parents, and there are others who lack love and compassion towards their children. There are loving and concerned parents who become duped by the 'professionals'. Below are some actual stories of experiences in my work as a therapist with children as well as one story submitted to me by a concerned and struggling parent. I share them to give some perspective as to what is occurring.

I share this scenario because sadly it is becoming a frightening reality: A child is considered overly active and has behavioral issues at school. The school staff may recommend psychiatric intervention and even go as far as to say that medication is necessary, even designating which one. The child sees the psychiatrist for a brief session- t is never examined if the child has any physical conditions, allergies, etc. Immediately the child is labeled and given a dose of psychostimulant. The child develops side effects such as weight loss, insomnia, and possible tics. In order to counteract the insomnia, a new drug such as Klonidine is added. The child develops emotional lability and has crying episodes and manic behaviors. The psychiatrist is seen again for a brief time, and on this visit its determined that 'bipolar is emerging'. The child is then given Depakote or some other mood stablizer. The child now must receive regular blood tests to insure that liver toxicity does not arise. The child is not overly active, he is quite docile, so it is reported that improvement has occurred. However, with the combination of drugs, he develops some psychotic like symptoms where he feels something is crawling on him and has some hallucinations. The psychiatrist is consulted again, and its determined that bipolar with psychotic features exists or maybe even the possibility of childhood schizophrenia. The child is then given Risperdal or another neuroleptic. Strangely, the child begins developing unusual jaw movements and muscle rigidity. The parents are concerned and ask the psychiatrist if this is medication related and if the child is overmedicated. The psychiatrist brushes off the question and prescribes Cogentin (used for Parkinson's) to alleviate the neurological problems but fails to remove the offending agent. The child's behavior becomes more unusual and bizarre leading to hospitalization where medications are raised and adjusted and new ones added. Then the recommendation comes from the psychiatrist that it would be better for the child to be moved to a residential treatment facility. While in the residential facility, the child is frequently restrained and is injured, he is placed with other children with serious emotional and behaviorla distress. he is discharged home having absorbed alot of new negative behaviors from peers, lacking knowledge of the outside world, and with few skills. So, once the child nears adulthood, it is recommended that he live in a group home where he can be cared for and the psychiatric regiment can be maintained. The child has been 'treated.'

This is all based on true incidents with names changed to preserve confidentiality.

I worked with a teen who had experienced sexual trauma by a relative. The relative was arrested and sentenced. The teen was asked to attend the setencing hearing and prior began acting out at school. She had an incident where she left the classroom to de-escalate after an argument with a teacher. She was restrained by a rather obese school staff. The teen explained to me that sher was frustrated with the school because a number of boys were exposing themselves to her and knew about her sexual trauma and that school staff did not respond. She was charged with disorderly conduct and had to appear before a juvenile judge. The judge was made aware of her sexual trauma and her need to be at the sentencing hearing. He locked her in juvenile detention for 10 days and said, 'we will transport her from detention to the hearing." The teen ahd no previous juvenile arrests. In this situation, Attorney Jana Markus was also became involved and after consulting with the District Attorney's office was able to secure her release and to encourage that she be recommended for homebound education. The school district has agreed not without some contention, particularly trying to continue to charge the teen with truancy for the time between her leaving the school and obtaining the recommendation of homebound education.

I received a call from a mother who had a very young child who was displaying some aggressive behaviors which caused the day care to have the child removed until therapeutic services could be provided. The mother took the child to one agency and was told, "you better medicate this child before he tries to kill someone." The mother was appalled. I later spoke to this mother by phone and explained my therapeutic approach. She told me her situation and the response she had received. As I spoke with her at length, she said, "You really care about children." I appreciated this comment but at the same time was saddened as I thought, shouldn't this be said about every person in the mental health profession? What has gone wrong?

A client who is a physician and his wife related that they sought assistance with their child diagnosed with autism and wanted assistance in aiding him with communication skills. They saw a psychiatrist who visited with them fr less than 10 minutes and began writing a script for antipsychotic medication. When the parents noted that they were not there for medications, the psychiatrist became belligerent and asked, 'then what do you want and why are you here?"

A staff of a agency working with mentally challenged adults related to me that the supervisors insisted that a client in the residential program was non-verbal and unable to communicate. This client was left frequently to sit and watch television for hours and privided with no real attention or work on skills development. The staff stated that she sought to engage the client in dialogue and found that he was far from non-verbal and after some work was able to write his name and other words.

In visiting an agency working with mentally challenged youth, I discovered that many of these youth's needs were completely ignored. I recall two incidents of seeing a young girl seated in a chair, the staff gave her paper and markers, and she would sit in the same chair for hours. Every visit she would be seated in the same spout with no one providing attention. Staff would walk past her and she would try to reach for them or hug them. I always made sure to stop and hug her and comment on her drawings. In addition, a young boy would pace incessantly around the building, once again being provided no attention, and no real work being done to aid this child in skill development.

"FAT AND IGNORANT" I was presented with a child who was having some serious behavioral issues at school. I began to examine the situation and my assessment was that this child was in conflict with his teacher and this was the only cause for the behavioral issues. This child had been previously placed on Ritalin which was actually cpurt ordered. The child had a very adverse reaction and fortunatelt was removed. As I have mentioned about the fraud of ADHD, this child I was convinced had no brain disorder as the biological psychiatrists would like us to think. This child was actually quite bright and was on the borderline for qualifying for MENSA. I began to look at the dynamics at school, as it was only here that he posed a problem. I learned as well that this child was witness to abuse and was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So, as I thought further I saw that the teacher was only aggravating this by his actions. The teacher showed hostility to this child and made him a target, even writing in a journal that the child was 'fat and ignorant." Was it any wonder that the child exhibited behavioral issues in a classroom where he was treated with no dignity? As I suspected, this child was moved to a different school environment where he excelled. The "ADHD" symptoms all disappeared, so much for theories about a brain disorder.

I received a call from a mother who explained to me that her child was in a residential facility and only recently was determined to have a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder after years of being labeled with 20 assorted diagnoses. She was given Risperdal as well as Ritalin. The mother reported that the child has tardive dyskinesia and was experiencing tremors. The response was to eliminate Risperdal and replace it with a different neuroleptic. This child is now permanently disfigured, and will probably never fully recover from the damage done in the name of 'help'.

I was doing an observation of one of my clients in a school setting when I took note of another child who began a conversation with me and in the process was showing facial grimaces and constant repetitive blinking. I pulled the teacher aside and asked her to examine the child for a minute and tell me if she witnessed anything out of the ordinary. "Well, he keeps making faces and twitching." I asked her, "Why may that be?" "Well, um, I do not know!". I asked her to see what medication the child was taking and if it might be a 'blue pill'. She asked the child and indeed he was taking Adderall, the cause of all his grimaces and contortion. What a price to pay to get a child to 'function' in class!

I was presented with a child who the teacher insisted was ADHD. The school guidance counselor was called in and told the mother, "without a doubt, he is ADHD and could benefit from Ritalin. It helps with academic improvement." I asked the school guidance counselor if he had actually met the child or was going on reports. "No, I have yet to meet him." I then asked him if he could name a study that proved that academic performance could be enhanced and how he was so sure of the ADHD diagnosis." He responded that he knew of no such study and that such diagnosis was based on teacher reports. Where is the science in that? I explained further that studies have actuallt shown that short term improvement in rote learning does occur, but that no long term improvement has ever been shown. The family sought a second opinion from a different psychologist who stated he saw nothing and sent the boy on his way. In this situation, I saw that the child was bright and that he learned in a way that the teacher just plainly was not providing. This idea was reinforced when the following year with a different teacher his academic performance dramatically increased with no intervention.

I worked with a delightful 5 year old child. Prior to him being referred to me, he had been on Risperdal. He had convulsions in the classroom and was taken to the emergency room. I happened to read the hospital report and it was deemed that these convulsions were a direct effect of the Risperdal. The mother was unfortunately an unconcerned parent, and there were frequent calls made to Child protective Services regarding abuse by herself and her paramour. I found it immensely difficult to work in the home with this mother, and after seeing the child with brusing, I too called the Child Protective Services but each time they found the cases unfounded. I would take the child into the community for my sessions. The mother had described him as a 'little brat', a 'monster', and a kid 'who didnt deserve sh-t'. She described all these negative behaviors in the home and yet I never saw one of them in his time with me. Occassionally he would have some difficulty in the classroom, but with some guidance and redirection, problems were always averted. It broke my heart to see that within 5 minutes of me dropping him off at home he would be in tears. The mother requested me to leave this case, and I reluctantly agreed and transferred it to a colleague and friend. My colleague informed me that the paramour was caught sexually abusing the child, and the child was taken to foster care. I feel that foster care should certainly be a last option, but here it was a blessing. I recommended that at least one member of the therapeutic staff he was familiar with continue to work with him in the new setting and I offered to go and visit him to help with his adjustment. Though it will take some time for him to adjust, I think it will be a fresh new start, as he is in a place where maybe for once he will receive love and compassion.

TARDIVE DYSKINESIA

I was presented with a very difficult child who had received multiple psychiatric diagnoses and who had been in residential mental health treatment for the majority of his life. This child had been heavily medicated and was exhibiting slurred speech, poor motor coordination, inner feelings of agitation, and unusual jaw motions and tics. The family was told of the possibility of tardive dyskinesia. This also became a concern of a psychologist who observed him. Unfortunately, the parents stated they were never given informed consent about potential side effects and had never heard of the term 'tardive dyskinesia'. This neurological problem is a significant problem affecting individuals taking neuroleptic medications.

HOUNDED FOR MY VIEWS

I had contracted with a private agency as a therapist. The clients I worked with had developmental challenges. There was much progress made and one client's parents gave me very positive feedback. However, the agency supervisor upon learning that my approach was to promote psychosocial alternatives as well as to give parents informed consent, this became a point of contention. This resulted in their desire to try to terminate the contract, though nothing stipulated within the contract was ever violated. This shows intolerance for anything but the pro-drugging stance as well as unwillingness to be open-minded to the fact that workable alternatives do indeed exist. This shows the sad state of affairs of the current mental health system.

THE POSITIVE STORIES:

* A four year old presented with speech difficulties and the expression of explosive behavior where he would when frustrated hurl objects across room, have difficulties with aggression towards peers and siblings, and frequently need redirection to remain on task. Over a period of one year, this child has now been discharged. The child no longer has aggressive episodes, is being recommended for discharge from early intervention services, and is currently only requiring the aid of a speech therapist. The focus remained on providing this child and their family with opportunities for building relationship, developing adaptive responses to frustration, and improving communication skills. This child was never exposed to any psychotropic medication, but a responsible, compassionate, and dignified plan of psychosocial action was provided. The TSS involved with this child must be commended for her wonderful work!

*a 10 year old child presented with explosive episodes in school as well as making various threats to peers. The school and psychiatrist intially saw this as a hopeless case requiring him to be placed in partial hospitalization. Dan Edmunds advocated heavily for this child to remain in his present placement in school. He receives support of a TSS as well as occupational therapy and with some bumps in the road has responded well and has been able to be maintained within the school environment with a great deal of success.

* a 5 year old who presented with risky and destructive behaviors and sevee problems in social skills in now building friendships and is praised by his teacher with frequent awards for his conduct and academic performance. The family has gained a greater awareness of his difficulties and has been supportive. This child receives no psychotropic medications but has benefited from a treatment plan which entails the principles outlined in "Entering Their Imaginative World".

* a 13 year old boy whose mother was addicted to heroin and who lived in a chaotic environment experienced problems with truancy and aggression. For a period of 6 months, I developed a plan to work on his ability to express his frustration more effectively, helping him to realize his self worth and his ability to assess himself and make appropriate choices. I examined his strengths and tried to help him capitalize on them. He made a difficult transition to foster care, and I advocated he be placed in a home where he could attend a school he is familiar with. Since this, his grades have been above average, he has made friendships, and no longer has the problems with aggression. We had frequent, open, and honest conversations about his pain and the difficulties he has experienced. This 13 year old was discharged and continues to progress successfully.

Many children today who show any type of inappropriate behaviors are often immediately being labeled as ADHD and being prescribed stimulant medications such as Ritalin, Adderall, or Dexedrine among others. First, ADHD is a complete fraud. There is no test for ADHD and neurological testing shows these children to be perfectly normal. Dr. William Carey of Children's Hospital in Philadelpha states, "common assumptions about ADHD include that it is clearly distinguishable from normal behavior, constitutes a neurodevelopmental (brain) disability, is relatively uninfluenced by the environment (home, school)...all of these assumptions...must be challenged because of the lack of empirical support and the strength of contrary evidence...what is now described in the US as ADHD is a set of normal behavioral variations..This discrepancy leaves the validity (of ADHD) in doubt."The U.S. National Institutes of Health Consensus Development Conference on ADHD in 1998 reported, " we have do not have an independent, valid test for ADHD, and there are no data to indicate that ADHD is due to a brain malfunction...and finally, after years of clinical research and experience with ADHD, our knowledge about the cause or causes of ADHD remains speculative." Further, Dr. Edward C. Hamlyn, a founding member of the Royal College of General Practicioners in 1998 stated, "ADHD is fraud intended to justify starting children on a life of drug addiction." The U.S. Surgeon General Report declares, "the exact etiolgoy of ADHD is unknown." Lastly, Dr. Joe Kosterich, Federal Chair of the Australian Medical Association states, " "The diagnosis of ADD is entirely subjective.... There is no test. It is just down to interpretation. Maybe a child blurts out in class or doesn’t sit still. The lines between an ADD sufferer and a healthy exuberant kid can be very blurred." What we are experiencing is children in conflict. We cannot blame and denigrate the child and not respect his dignity. We cannot label and suppress behaviors. If a child is conflict, we must take responsibility to see why this child is in conflict and to use responsible and carefully planned interventions to aid this child in being successful. Some believe that they see enormous benefits from children on medication. I will give them this benefit, only if we see suppression of behavior, basically chemical restraint, and the creation of zombies as our idea of 'progress' or 'success'. But once again, we are taking NORMAL children and drugging them to suppress their behaviors. In order to achieve such a 'result', just what is going on in this child's body? Let me go further in the issue of psychostimulants- Stanley I. Greenspan, a clinical professor of psychiatry at George Washington University states that, " The growing use of medication on their own is a worrisome trend while more and more people on Prozac or Ritalin are becoming bolder and less distractible, at the same time, more and more people are altering their moods without understanding what is happening to them or how it relates to their core personalities." He also states, "given appropriate nurturing, many affected children may not require medication." University of South Florida Professor of Psychology, Diane McGuinness comments, "The first factor of being put on drugs is to attribute your bad behavior to factors beyond your control. Drugs become a substitute for learning self-discipline. This problem is compounded when children are taken off medication and problem behavior initially rebounds to fantastic proportions. Second, longitudinal studies have confirmed that children on drugs actually deteriorate in academic performance over time. And we must consider the sense of worthlessness most of these young people experience.(McGuinness, 1985). Paul Wender, M.D. lists criteria when beginning medication, he states that a child must first understand why he is receiving medication, yet as Greenspan states above, this isnt always happening. Wender states, "Most acknowledge problems in his own behavior that he himself does not like, so that -he will not feel that medicine is being given to him simply so that other people can tolerate him more." Now, Wender is one who began the first tests on the use of methylphenidate and is in support of its use in treatment. I have had instances of being kicked, and even bitten by children going through behavioral difficulties, but at the same time, I found methods to help a child be able to deal with behaviors and to have progress while at the same time encouraging the child's own responsibility and sovereignty, and working on the creative strengths of the child. Greenspan comments, "working with the strengths of a child can create motivation." A child needs to be able to recognize and be motivated to change behaviors and work on strengths. Even Wender states that getting a child to 'label' behaviors is effective, that a child must recognize what is appropriate and what is not, and that parents should not encourage the idea that because the medication was wearing off or so forth that such excuses a level of knowledge and responsibility for certain behaviors. In my experiences, I would argue that a child often has complete knowledge of some of his or her behaviors and may develop a manipulative manner and 'test' the parent and find various triggers and weaknesses where he the parent will give in to his immediate desire. My concern lies too in that whereas some may feel medication to create some responsive in level of focus and so forth, it comes with a cost in side effects. Some may take the view that the potential for progress outweights the potential side effects. This is where I disagree, and feel it better to avoid that which would cause any side effects, that psychotherapy alone can manage the difficulties. These are some of the things that bring alarm to me. Wender states, "Most common side effects of the stimulant medications are appetite loss...difficulty in falling asleep." He suggests the use of a small dose of sedative 'major tranquilizer' an hour before bedtime to solve this in some cases. So, here a see a cycle of drugs needing to be used and thats worrisome. Wender states, "Research is being conducted to determine the -exact- effects of stimulant medication on growth." This tells me they are prescribing something which they really do not know yet what the effects are on growth. He states as well that stimulant medication IS addictive in adults, but says, "The results suggest that there is no increased risk for drug abuse associated with treatment, although -more research is needed to rule this out conclusively.-" Here again, if it is addictive to adults, I ask, why not children too, and he says that research is yet conclusive. With effects on the cardiovascular system, Barkley states, "studies have -not- specifically addressed this important issue." So, they are prescribing something for which they are unsure of the effects on growth as well as the cardiovascular system. Barkley states as well, "The side effect that shouls receive serious attention from clinicians is the possible increase in motor or vocal tics produced by stimulant medication." He continues- "It still seems prudent to screen children with ADHD adequately for a personal or family history of tics or Tourette's Syndrome." I recall having a session with a child with the mother first and being informed that he was being treated with Ritalin, I later had subsequent time with the father, and he had visible tics, this really alarmed me in reading about the issue of tics and Tourette's and I had to question not to the family but within myself if this was really the best option for the child faced with this risk. Barkley also states, "Isolated cases may arise in which parents note that a child is no longer 'spontaneous' or childlike in his or her behavior and appears -controlled- or -socially aloof-. This is concerning, and it appears that stimulants do have an affect in gaining control and conformity. Many of the stated results of the stimulant medication are too subjective., and Barkley states clearly that, "an improved ability to master increasingly difficult or higher-level academic material, such as that assessed in achievement tests, has -not- been demonstrated. here we have an example that it would not have been as a result of stimulant medication if we see academic progress. Barkley also says that 'low and moderate doses of methlyphenidate do reduce the frequency of aggression and noncompliance in groups of children but have no appreciate effect on either direction on prosocial or nonsocial behaviors." So, I will acknowledge that stimulants can help with short term behavioral inhibition, but what about long term? This is my main concern, with the side effects and without evidence of a long term result and without knowledge of long term results on growth and cardiovascular development, is this really the best option? Barkley states, " Few studies employing rigorous methodology have evaluated the long term efficacy of stimulant medication. Thise that have examined the issue have generally found little advantage of medication over no medication when evaluated over extended periods (Pelham, 1985, Weiss &Hechtman, 1993) Children who had been on drugs but were off at the time of follow-up were not found to differ in any important respect from those who had never received pharmacotherapy." Another concern is the effects in mood, I worked with one child who was already experiencing social withdrawal and was going through the trauma of losing a loved one. After receiving stimulant medication, this intensified. Wender states, "Instead of becoming high or excited, these drugs in general calm down ADHD children and sometimes they may even become somewhat sad." Barkley states, "some children may evidence various mild negative moods or emotions in reaction to stimulants...Some children descrive feeling 'funny', 'different' or dizzy as a function of medication." What about self-esteem and confidence, Greenspan acknowledges that creativity can be affected, and Barkley states, " some concern has been raised that diminished self-esteem could be a emanative effect of methylphenidate as children may attribute the source of their success while on medication to external rather than internal factors." Here, I become concerned about self-fulfilling prophecy as a result of stigmatization, and that a child can very well by develop a defeatist idea if he develops the perception as outlined above. ADHD: LIES AND DAMNED LIES F. Xavier Castellanos presented a study to the National Institutes of Health suggesting that therapy combined with stimulants was the best 'treatment' for children labeled as ADHD. This was something being preached by psychologist Russell Barkley for some time prior to this study. Castellanos concluded in tbis study that ADHD labeled children had smaller brains. The problem is that in this study they failed to mention that 93% of the ADHD group of children had received psychostimulants for an extended period. Thus, the brain atrophy had nothing to do with the childen having ADHD, and all to do with the use of stimulants. The stimulant medications caused the brain atrophy. They turned the study around to perpetuate a lie. In 1994, Paul Leber of the Food and Drug Administration said, "As yet no distinctive pathophysiology for the disorder has been delineated." In 1995, Gene R. Haislip of the Drug Enforcement Administration said, "We are also unaware that ADHD has been validated as a biologic/organic syndrome or disease." In 1998, James M. Swanson of the University of California, and leading ADD advocate, said in conference, "I would like to have an objective diagnosis for the disorder (ADHD). Right now psychiatric diagnosis is completely subjective." And even Dr. Castellanos, in spite of his extensive research, said in 1998, "I agree that we have not yet met the burden of demonstrating the specific pathophysiology that we believe underlies this condition." A child I worked with had been originally labeled ADHD and the psychologist as well as school guidance counselor made strong recommendations for the use of Ritalin. I began therapy with this child and I saw that the only problem present was some emotional immatuity and that this was a bright, creative child who with a boost could accomplish much and certainly did not need to be drugged. In expressing this view, I was told thhat I was 'crazy' "misinformed' and would do the family a 'great disservice' by not being on board with their coercing the family to use Ritalin. In my appearance on "Positive Press" Radio with Connie Giblin, I discussed this issue, and she asked me what payout this psychologist received. I do not know exactly what incentives this psychologist received, but the fact remains that many psychologists and psychiatrists have received financial gifts from the pharmaceutical companies. A PBS program reported a psychologist who offered trainings on ADHD with direct funding from the pharmaceutical company. He was asked if this funding influenced him in any way to which eh said no. Of course he would say no as he does not want to end the stuffing of his pockets at the expense of our children's well being. These folks are perpetuating a damned lie so that they can make profit child's play. People of compassion who know the truth must speak out!

AUTISTIC SPECTRUM DISORDERS AND PSYCHIATRY'S SOLUTION

There is no medication that will cure autism and Asperger’s syndrome. Some individuals have used various medications in an attempt to control behaviors, however it must be realized that this is all that the medications are capable of doing is controlling a certain aspect of behavior by blunting certain brain functions. These medications all have serious risks. “Neuroleptics (such as Risperdal and Seroquel) have their main impact by blunting the highest functions of the brain in the frontal lobes and the closely connected basal ganglia. They can also impair the reticular activating or energizing system of the brain. These impairments result in relative degrees of apathy, indifference, emotional blandness, conformity, and submissiveness, as well as a reduction in all verbalizations, including complaints or protests. It is no exaggeration to call this effect a chemical lobotomyEontrary to claims, neuroleptics have no specific effects on irrational ideas (delusions) or perceptions (hallucinations). (Breggin, 1999) These medications also carry the risk of causing tardive dyskinesia or neuroleptic malignant syndrome. Tardive dyskinesia is permanent abnormal movements of the voluntary muscles. “NMS is characterized by severe abnormal movements, fever, sweating, unstable blood pressure and pulse, and impaired mental functioning. Delirium and coma can develop. NMS can be fatalEBreggin, 1999) Common side effects of Risperdal as reported by the Physicians Desk Reference are abdominal pain, abnormal walk, agitation, aggression, anxiety, chest pain, constipation, coughing, decreased activity, diarrhea, dizziness, fever, headache, inability to sleep, increased dreaming, indigestion, involuntary movements, joint pain, lack of coordination, nasal inflammation, nausea, overactivity, rapid heartbeat, rash, reduced salivation, respiratory infection, sore throat, tremor, vomiting. The SSRI antidepressantsEare also a common prescribed medication. These drugs can produce akathisia, mania, worsening of depression, obsessive compulsive like behaviors, and severe anxiety and agitation (International Center for the Study of Psychiatry and Psychology Newsletter, Summer 2002, pg. 15) The use of responsible psychosocial approaches is far better than any short term benefit these toxic medications may provide.

A PLAN FOR TREATING THE INSANITY IN THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM- WHAT WE MUST DO

First, we must stop looking through the eyes of a medical model, where we see children as broken and disordered and attempts are made to attributing their behaviors and emotions solely to a malfunctioning brain. There is no evidence supporting the psychopathology of a number of disorders. The linkage between the pharmaceutical companies and psychiatry needs to be evaluated as well as the information that is disseminated via the research and materials provided by pharmaceutical company money. One such example is CHADD, the 'support' group for parents of children diagnosed with ADHD that has received a great deal of his funding from the pharmceutical companies. The goal should be to examine the underlying factors of a child's behavior, looking at the child with dignity and respect, and seeing the child as one in conflict rather than a person who is disordered. Such stigmatization remains indefinitely, and labels can often become a self fulfilling prophecy and will follow our children for years to come and shape the way that they view themselves and also the way others view them, particularly the educational system. We cannot look to solely the most cost effective solution when our children's lives are at stake. Indeed, providing a prescription may control aspects of behavior and be though to have a 'therapeutic effect' but never gets to the root cause, and whereas it is far less expensive to medicate than to provide ongoing psychotherapy, it is appropriate and compassionate counsel that will make the difference. Second, the realm of psychotherapy must return to its orginal roots. The word psychotherapy literally means the healing of the soul. We must return the soul to therapy, encouraging therapists to instill within themselves the principles of compassion and empathy that are crucial for any therapeutic relationship to blossom forth. Therapists need to be compassionate and creative, and willing to give additional time and effort to see that a child's needs are met and to also provide community linkages and ongoing support within their environment and to encourage the least restrictive setting for our children. The coercion of parents and families into forced 'treatments' needs to be eliminated. Third, the educational system must be willing to accomodate to meet the various learning styles of children and not seek to place them in a box of rote learning or limit them to one particulat style. Some children may falter in a visual setting and need a hands on approach, whereas others may need other methods of encouraging their effective learning. We must return time, attention, and individuality to the classroom. Fourth, parents need to continue to take an active role in the lives of their children, providing ongoing guidance, validating emotions and not taking a dismissive, disapproving, or hands off approach. Rather, parents must be involved in helping the children develop their own sense of being, and being able to assess themselves. Parents need to avoid nagging their children and becoming entrapped in the propaganda that their children are disordered and need drugs to function. Fifth, our society must change in it attitudes. We are a society where we try to find our answers to ailments within a simple pill. We are a society that has unfortunately lost sight for the welfare of our children. We are a societry where we are prosperous, yet greed often blinds us. Such disorders such as ADHD can be looked upon as a social construct. 90% of Ritalin sales are in the US. This tells us that there is something to be examined within our society that needs correction. Somewhere along the line we have failed our children. This is not to lay blame on any particular individual but to understand that our children are in crisis, and it is up to all of us to take the steps for change. We need to rely less on psychiatry and its devices to solve our problems and more on what we can do within ourselves- to take a holistic approach, to understand the child as a whole person- physical, emotional, and spiritual, and to examine in each of these areas where there may be difficulties that can be alleviated. We need to rely less on others dictating the course of our own and our children's lives and develop workable plan within our own family structure. Nothing will ever be perfect, but even in the most serious disturbances, love and compassion can heal much. We must realize that in some situations within society and within our own lives, we may never be able to evoke complete change. This is the cause of much distress, not problems themselves but how we respond to them. To battle those things beyond our control can lead us to emotional distress, but if we seek live as principled individuals, we can make a difference. What we model to our children and to others has a lasting impact.

10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

2006-11-19T09:04:00.001-08:00

10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem
By Peter Dobler

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody’s mind. It doesn’t matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don’t know exactly what you want to improve. You’re acting intuitively on external signals.

Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.

1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.

2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.

3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.

4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.

5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.

7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.

8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice…

9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.

10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Next time you meet somebody new look out for these behaviors. Put a mental checkmark on the each of the 10 tips and see how well this person scored. Chances are that the person scored very high if you tent to like her/him. On the contraire the person probably scored low if you don’t seem to connect.

The more you practice the more likely you will create a positive aura which is commonly known as charisma. To step up to become a charismatic personality it takes more than just these 10 tips.

Creating a positive aura will benefit you in every thing you do. You will create a warmer ambience with your family. You will be more successful in your career. Even while trying to meet a partner of the opposite sex you will notice a difference on how people perceive you.

Unfortunately a small article can’t do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale’s new book “The Power of Charisma”.

Peter Dobler is an active real estate investor and a successful home business entrepreneur. Learn how to become a charismatic personality in this new book.
http://www.powerofcharismabook.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Dobler

What The Most Dangerous Job In The World Taught Me About Coping With Stress

2006-11-18T06:46:00.000-08:00

What The Most Dangerous Job In The World Taught Me About Coping With Stress
By Kevin Thompson

I just got through reading some troubling news in the New York Times this morning.

62% of employees now say that work-related stress leaves them overwhelmed and overtired.

And for many of us, who bring work home from the office, the problem is even worse.

So what’s going on?

Why are most of us so stressed?

I’ll tell you what a major part of the problem is… lack of job security.

I remember as I was growing up, my father only had two jobs. He was a high school teacher for the earlier part of his life, and later on he went into the real estate profession.

Two jobs, and they spanned his entire lifetime!

And the one career change he made was something he wanted to do. He didn’t make the change because he was losing his job as a teacher. In fact, the school district wanted him to stay.

But that’s a far cry from the way things are today. In fact, the days of job stability, and working for a single employer for your entire working career are long gone.

You’ll probably change jobs at least 11 times before you retire.

Downsizing, rapid business expansion and outsourcing are terms that we’re all too familiar with.

Before I got involved in the health industry and started my own indoor air quality business back in 1996, I’d already held 5 jobs in 5 completely different industries.

I worked as a telecommunications technician (in the Army), as a framer, on the green chain at 2 separate lumber mills, as a farm hand and finally as an Alaska fisherman for seven years (which was the hardest and most stressful job I ever had).

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, “You must’ve been a problem employee”.

But the fact is, nothing could be further from the truth.

I was in fact a model employee for every company I worked for, and never left a single employer on bad terms.

For example…

I began working as an Alaska fisherman in 1988. My main motivation for doing this was the money. Quite honestly, that’s the only reason I took the job.

And if you’ve ever seen that movie “The Perfect Storm” or watched those shows on the discovery channel, you have an idea of what it’s like to fish in Alaska.

My own story isn’t much different and it taught me why being an Alaska Fisherman is know as “The Most Dangerous Job In The World”.

The winter of 1995 had been an especially bad winter in Alaska. Fishing boats and fishermen's lives were being claimed by the Bering Sea almost weekly.

I was working on the outside deck after dark and we were in an unbelievable storm. It was the worst I'd seen in my 7 years of fishing. The kind of thing you only see in the movies.

I was scared to death!

But I had my own way of dealing with my fears. I'd never look out at the horizon when we were in a storm like this because I didn't want to see the big picture. I didn't want to know how high the waves really were. So I'd just concentrate on my job, which was to get all the fish onto the boat. As long as I did my job, and didn't look up, I could almost convince myself that the storm wasn't that bad.

While this certainly wasn’t the best way to deal with stress, at the time, it was the only way I knew how.

As always, the captain was in the wheelhouse driving the boat. His job was to keep an eye on me and watch for the dangerous rogue waves that would come out of nowhere and slam into us broadside. He'd tell me if I was in any real danger.

And then it happened!

I heard the captain's thundering voice over the intercom system.

Kevin! Hit the deck!

Before I could react, I was buried under a wall of water that hurled me all the way across the deck of the boat, face first into the railing on the other side.

When the water settled, and I realized what had happened, my immediate thought was, "Thank God I'm still on the boat" The impact had knocked out my front teeth and caused serious facial damage, but at least I was still alive, and on the boat.

If that wave would have lifted me just a few inches higher, I would have been thrown right over the top of the railing into the freezing waters of the Bering Sea. And there's one thing I knew for sure. In a storm like that, there's no way in hell the captain would have got that boat turned around in time to save me. I would have died right then and there.

It was at that moment I decided my life as an Alaska Fisherman was over.

While it was a great experience, I’ve never regretted my decision to leave the fishing industry. I just didn’t want to deal with that much stress in my life.

Decades of research has linked stress to everything from heart attacks and stroke to diabetes and a weakened immune systems, and none of us want to deal with that.

I’ve since found much better ways to deal with stress, and you can too by going to www.healtharticles.org

About The Author

Kevin Thompson is a national authority on indoor air quality and health issues. His free Health Articles & News Update service gives you instant access to the world's most respected and sought after health experts in 70 categories, including Men’s Health, Women’s Health and Children’s Health just to name a few. Find out how this free service is changing people's lives and how you too can live a longer, healthier and more prosperous lifestyle... beginning today. Go to www.healtharticles.org.

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Ten Tips For Beating Depression

2006-11-17T19:59:00.001-08:00

Ten Tips For Beating Depression
By Marsha Jordan

I heard about a woman who was suffering from depression, so her concerned husband took her to a psychiatrist. The doctor listened to the couple talk about their relationship, and then he said, "The treatment I prescribe is really quite simple." With that, he went over to the man's wife, gathered her up in his arms, and gave her a big kiss. He then stepped back and looked at the woman's glowing face and broad smile. Turning to the woman's husband, he said, "See! That's all she needs to put new life back into her." Expressionless, the husband said, "If you say so, Doc, I can bring her in on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Okay, that's not how to treat depression, but I have a few other suggestions that make more sense. As a result of trial and error, over the course of thirty years, I've found ten blues battling strategies that often help me. These are not quick fixes, and this list is not exhaustive. It is also not a "must do" list.

When you're depressed, the last thing you need is a list of expectations to live up to. Don't stress about forcing yourself to accomplish all these things. They're not items to be checked off a list each day. The only one that is crucial is number one. After that, you can experiment with the others as you feel able to.

1) Get the Facts and Get Help.

Web sites and books on depression abound. Find them and do some research. You need to know what you're dealing with. Learn all you can about depression, so you can make educated decisions about your own health, learn how others cope, and find what medical treatment is available. Many books have self tests to help you determine whether you are experiencing clinical depression or temporary sadness in reaction to an event. In addition to reading everything you can get your hands on, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is seek medical help right away. Depression is much too complicated for you to solve on your own. Clinical depression is a serious medical condition that is very complicated to treat. Often it is a physical problem that requires long term medication. In my own experience, it's taken years of medication, counseling, and practicing various self help methods to slowly emerge from it, and it's still a daily battle.

Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they won't consult a doctor. If you're waiting for God to heal you, consider this: God gives scientists intelligence, which they often use to create helpful medicines; and He gives doctors wisdom to treat illnesses. Wise doctors and modern medicines are gifts from God and vehicles through which He often heals. Doctors can help you determine whether what you feel is truly depression, or if you are just reacting normally to a sad life situation.

If you've experienced depression, you already know it is not an illness you can "snap out of," no matter what others may tell you. It's not something to be ashamed of either. Depression can be a serious physical illness caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals or other factors. Like any serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated. Without the proper treatment, none of my suggested coping strategies will do any good.

2) Get Focused.

Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness pervade the life of a depressed person. The opposite of depression is a hopeful attitude. Focusing on hope and developing a hopeful heart is a must. It can be accomplished in a couple ways. One way is to search the Bible for the numerous Scriptures that tell how God has helped those who felt hopeless. It's helpful to memorize verses like these: Hebrews 4:15 (For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.); 2 Corinthians 4:8 & 9 (All-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.); Matthew 6:34 (Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.); Isaiah 41:10 (Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.); and John 14:27 (Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.).

The story of Job and the book of Psalms are the most worn pages in my Bible. While at my lowest, I've read and re-read them more times than I can count. My fridge and the mirrors in my house are covered with sticky notes reminding me of how God intervenes in the lives of His people.

Another way to focus on hope is by practicing positive self talk. This simply means telling yourself good things. I made a list for myself of positive affirmations like "God cares and understands my pain. God values me. God is giving me strength. I am made in God's image. I can choose my attitude. I choose not to put myself down. I'm a worthwhile person. I have a purpose. I enjoy life. I choose to be happy and I am competent." If you struggle with depression, I think you'll find it helpful to write down as many of these affirmations as you can think of and read them every day. Even if they're not currently true or you don't really believe them, it's okay. Say them to yourself anyway. Your mind will come to believe what you tell it, so tell it you are already the type of person you want to become. Be sure to remind yourself often that God is with you and He is pouring his strength on you. "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. ...For You are the God of my strength..." (Psalm 42:5 and 43:2 NKJV)

2 Corinthians 4:18 says we need to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Focusing on positive, heavenly things rather than earthly things will keep the feelings of hopelessness at bay.

3) Get Friendly.

Fellowship with other people is a mood lifter. Being alone is the worst thing you can do when you're depressed. Unfortunately, it's usually the very thing I want most. Depression grows best in isolation. I find it very difficult to get out and socialize when I'm depressed, but if I push myself to do it, I'm almost always glad later. Some ideas for socializing include joining a club, taking a class, inviting someone to meet you for lunch, or visiting a nursing home to chat with the residents there. It especially helps me to be with friends who enjoy the same hobbies I do. Shopping, watching movies, and rubber stamping are some of the things I enjoy doing alone, but they're twice as much fun when I do them with friends.

4) Get Giggling.

I collect cartoons and funny newspaper columns. I visit humor web sites online, watch funny movies, and read funny books. Best of all is laughing with friends. One of the reasons I enjoy my grandson so much is because he makes me laugh. I can act goofy with him and let go of my inhibitions. We dance and sing and make up silly rhymes. I have photographs of us wearing funny glasses with big black mustaches. I laugh every time I look at those. Laughing affects brain chemicals. It releases endorphins, which make you feel good. Chocolate does the same thing, but a good laugh is less fattening.

A friend of mine, who had a very frustrating job, told me that one day she was inspired by someone who had a huge, bright smile. She decided to emulate that woman and smile at everyone she encountered. Right away, she realized that smiling was addictive. It seemed to make the time pass more quickly and she found herself less frustrated and more at peace. She told me, "It sounds corny, but it really works!"

Paul wrote, "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4 NKJV) I've heard that a person can act her way into feeling better. Act happy, act glad, and it helps you to feel happy and glad. Paul exhibited this truth in his own life. Acts 16 tells how Paul and Silas were attacked, beaten, locked in stocks, and thrown into solitary confinement. Yet, at midnight, what were they doing? Feeling sorry for themselves? Asking God, "Why?" Moaning and complaining like I do? No, they were singing! Sure they were suffering, but they knew they were children of God. Paul may have even been remembering his personal encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. (Acts 22:10) They were praising God because they had been rescued from their sins, filled by the Holy Spirit, and added to God's family. No jailer could take that away. That was worth being grateful for, no matter what else happened to them. Even if they were to be killed, it would only send them to heaven. So why should they fear? That's some awesome faith, isn't it?

5) Get Rhythm.

When I feel a case of the gloomies descending, that is not the time to play melancholy music. Positive upbeat tunes are in order -- the sort of music you might hear at a parade or a circus. Music gets your toes tapping and your blood flowing. It makes you want to sing. Singing and dancing sends a message to your brain that you're happy. Your brain is an actualizer. Whatever it "thinks" is true, it works to bring about. This is why positive thinking works. You tell yourself, "I'm happy" often enough and your brain accepts it as fact. It actualizes that truth, making it happen. I've found that when depression takes hold of me, I tend to ruminate on negative thoughts. Listening to good, Christian music with positive lyrics helps to pour good things into my brain and crowd those negative things out. There's a list of good things to ponder in the fourth chapter of Paul's letter to the Philippian church. It says to think about whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, noble, right, or admirable. Philippians 4:8 says, "If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." Christian music helps me accomplish this.

6) Get Busy

We all need to feel like we're involved in something significant. We need to participate in something outside ourselves. You might consider volunteering at a local women's shelter or food pantry. I've enjoyed both and discovered that when I stay busy helping others and concentrating on their problems, I get a break from focusing on my own troubles. This is how HUGS and HOPE began. It started with a small effort to make a difference for one family and it grew. I've learned that joy boomerangs. When you give it away, it comes back to you. Helping others gives you the heart-warming satisfaction of knowing you are making a difference in the world. That will elevate your mood as well as your self esteem.

7) Get Physical

This is two-fold. Physical exercise is good for us, but physical contact is equally important. Our bodies need to move to be healthy, and going for a walk is the easiest exercise for me to do when I'm depressed. It doesn't require as much energy and motivation as other activities. Breathing the fresh air and looking at the beauty of nature can be helpful, and taking my dog along is even better. Just watching his ears flop as he bounces down the road in front of me often brings a smile to my face.

Exercise affects brain chemicals, and the healing touch of physical closeness does too. If you're depressed, hug somebody - anybody, everybody! A hug is good medicine. It reduces stress and tension and it boosts your immunity to illness. Hugs raise self esteem and lower blood pressure. They feel good and make people happy. And they're free! Hugs are the universal language that communicates love and acceptance. They're healthy for the "hugger" as well as the "hugee."

8) Get Quiet

I need to lean heavily on God's word and spend time with Him. When I pray, I talk things over with God. When I read the Bible and meditate on it, I hear Him speak to me and I contemplate what He says. I've found this to be one of the best anti-depressants there is. However, I need to add a word of caution here. Too much solitude can worsen depression. Isolating yourself and avoiding people can make depression grow. Don't use meditation time as an excuse to avoid human contact. Time with God is of the utmost importance, but balance between quiet time alone and time spent with others is essential.

9) Get Forgiveness – And Give it Too!

I've read that many psychiatrists agree that depression is guilt or anger turned inward. David is an example of someone whose guilt led to depression. After committing adultery, he wrote, "When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer." (Psalm 32:3-4)

Sin makes you feel bad, but when you receive God's forgiveness, your guilt is removed; and often depression is removed too.

Depression can sometimes be caused from the need to forgive someone else or yourself (whomever is making you angry). Grudges cause feelings of frustration, which aggravate the hopeless feelings of depression. When we forgive, we let go of past hurts and give up bitterness. Then depression has no negativity on which to feed. If you free yourself from feelings of hate and open yourself up to feelings of love, you may feel as if the depression is physically lifting off your shoulders.

My friend Nance went through a difficult divorce, which left her bitter about the past, anxious about the future, and miserable in general. She harbored a lot of grudges and guilt, and she worried constantly. She felt the need to control everything in her life, yet she knew she couldn't. After attending a women's retreat, Nance realized what her negativity was doing to her.She released her worries, fears, anger, and resentments at the foot of the cross. Then she felt a renewal in her heart. She was happy and at peace.

When she was dying, Nance told me that the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do was forgive – both her ex-husband and herself -- for past mistakes. She said forgiving was even harder than dying!

Forgiveness isn't a simple one time event. It's a process that often takes time (sometimes years), but it's an important step to healing.

Jesus taught forgiveness when he said we'd be forgiven in the same way we forgive others, and when he told Peter we should forgive, not seven times, but seventy times seven. Of course, Jesus also lived forgiveness. While hanging on the cross, he looked at his torturers and said, "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)

10) Get Thankful.

When I'm depressed, I need to make a conscious effort to count my blessings. An attitude of hopelessness and discontent has a hard time competing with an attitude of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:28 says, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." It's important to remember that depression is not fatal and it doesn't last forever. You WILL survive! Remind yourself that this cloud of despair will pass eventually. It may seem like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but trust that there is; and be thankful for that, as you wait for the light to appear.

So, while kisses from your husband (or a psychiatrist) may be great, they can't cure depression. But along with medication and the proper treatment, now you have some practical steps you can take for your own well being. There are times when one of these strategies may be more helpful than the rest. Other times, it may seem that none of them makes a huge difference. But I keep practicing all of them anyway, because I know they are steps toward a healthier lifestyle. Following them on a regular basis may not eliminate depression forever, but they help me to minimize their severity.

These tips can be helpful for people who are not depressed too. They can be useful for anyone who is a little discouraged, a little blue, or needs to refocus on more positive things in life.

I hope that by trying these ideas you may find yourself on the way to experiencing more joy.

******************

Author Marsha Jordan is founder of a nonprofit charity called Hugs and Hope for Sick Children (http://www.hugsandhope.org). More of her articles on depression are in her book, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter, a compilation of essays illustrated with drawings by critically ill children. A wonderful mix of the serious and the zany, this book warms the heart and lifts the spirit. PROCEEDS BENEFIT SICK KIDS! This book was written to encourage anyone who faces disappointment -- which is EVERYone! Some essays in the book include "What Did I Do To Deserve This?" "What Was God Thinking?" and "More Than I Can Handle." Order the book or learn more at http://www.hugsandhope.org/book.htm

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THC Patch and Gum Right Around the Corner?

2006-11-17T14:44:00.000-08:00

THC Patch and Gum Right Around the Corner?
By David Maillie

Doctors have long known that marijuana can be useful in the treatment of emaciated and anorexic patients from diseases like chemotherapy and AIDS. Many doctors have and still prescribe marijuana - yes it can be obtained legally through a prescription. Now, the government is doing research into a patch or possibly gum, along with the Marinol pill and other similar treatments to treat more malodys like gulf war syndrome, migraine headaches and similar.

The Food and Drug Administration has recently granted several researchers from large universities and research centers from Harvard to Maryland approval to study the effects of THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol) in various delivery methods. Some of these The oral methods have recently been approved and released for treatment of chemotherapy and AIDS related weightloss issues. They, along with injectible and patch and gum or lozenge methods of delivery are now being researched for treatment of migraines, psychological associated diseases (Gulf War Syndrom and similar), and even ADD and ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and mental and psychological abnormalities. The list of research the U.S. Government has recently backed continues to grow.

The U.S. government is giving in to the undeniable fact that marijuana does have medicinal properties that can help patients with various conditions and that it should be made more readily available. Recently marijuana and THC have been brought down to a class 3 drug under the DEA. This will make it easier for doctors to prescribe THC and marijuana and get it to those who need it. The National Institutes of Health and an affiliate of the National Academy of Sciences have concluded that the active ingredients in marijuana can ease the pain, nausea and vomiting of cancer and AIDS (courtesy National Academy Press). Even charitable organizations that long withstood the attributes of marijuana have changed their views:

"The American Cancer Society has always been on record against people smoking tobacco and marijuana," said Allen St. Pierre, executive director of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws in Washington, D.C. "This is a way to assuage opponents." The American Cancer Society is currently funding a three-year, $361,000 grant for research at the Albany College of Pharmacy.

There is currently only a few choices smoking, oral (Marinol) and injection (Sumatriptan). According to patient research the smoking method is still preferred as the patient feels more comfortable in determining what amount of "high" they receive. The complaints with the pill is that it takes too long for it to have effect. Then when it does take effect the patient is rendered useless for a period of time. This seems to be a delivery problem and being that there are no competing manufacturers the doctor and patient have little choice.

A THC patch or gum could easily solve this problem as these delivery methods, similar in property to smoked marijuana, can easily be removed when the patient feels comfortable and is sufficiently medicated. This would put control back in the patients and doctors hands with more choices. It would also make these medications less expensive and more apt to be accepted by society. The patch and gum are currently in use for smoking control and cesation and are very effective in this delivery method. This is not to mention the cancer factor from smoking is removed making it much safer and acceptable.

It would be believable to assume a THC patch and possibly gum will be available and through the clinical trials in the next few years. As more acceptance for the medicinal use of marijuana and THC grows it is possible that it may gain universal acceptance for medicinal use.

David Maillie is an alumni of Cornell University and specializes in biochemical synthesis for public, private, and governmental interests. He holds numerous patents and awards for his research. For more useful information please visit: http://www.bestbraindrain.com

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Alcoholism Stages - 3 Stages of Alcoholism You Should Know

2006-11-17T02:54:00.001-08:00

Alcoholism stages can be categorized into three stages of alcoholism -- early stage, middle stage and end stage alcoholism or late stage alcoholism. Alcoholism stages generally take years to develop. Alcoholism is a disease where alcoholic beverage consumption is at a level that interferes with physical or mental health, and negatively impacts social, family or occupational responsibilities.

Consuming no more than one or two drinks per day for healthy men and a drink a day for healthy non-pregnant women are generally considered acceptable alcohol consumption without health risks. However, as the amount or frequency of drinking increases, the earliest of the alcoholism stages can develop as a result.

Early Stages of Alcoholism

In the early alcoholism stages, a person begins to depend on alcohol to affect their mood. They drink for relief from problems, and they begin thinking more and more about alcohol. The person and others around them may not recognize that they are in the earliest of the stages of alcoholism. A gradual increase in tolerance happens, meaning, it takes increasing amounts of alcohol to achieve the desired mood-altering effects. Often, the person can consume large amounts of alcohol without appearing impaired.

In the early alcoholism stages, the body has adapted to increasing amounts of alcohol. In fact, how a person functions will likely be improved with drinking as blood alcohol levels rise. For example, they can think and talk normally or walk a straight line with no problem. However, with continued alcohol consumption over time, the body begins to lose its ability to deal with high alcohol levels. As this occurs, when the alcoholic stops drinking and their blood alcohol level decreases, their thinking, talking or walking functions deteriorate, and they are moving into the next of the stages of alcoholism.

Middle Alcoholism Stages

The need and desire to drink gradually becomes more intense. Drinking larger amounts and more often happens as well as drinking earlier in the day. The alcoholic is losing control over drinking, and the body is losing its ability to process alcohol like it did in the early stages of alcoholism. Their tolerance decreases as they become intoxicated more easily. Withdrawal symptoms begin to become more severe if alcohol is reduced.

The person may now secretly recognize there is a drinking problem, and others may begin to notice as well. Unfortunately, the alcoholic no longer can judge how much alcohol their body can handle. Typically, the drinker denies to themselves and others that alcohol is a problem so they won't have to deal with their inner turmoil. Hangovers, blackouts and stomach problems can now be physical symptoms that occur on a regular basis.

End Stage Alcoholism

As alcoholism progresses, the alcoholic has become obsessed with drinking to the exclusion of nearly everything else. Everyone can tell there's a major problem. During the late alcoholism stages, the mental and physical health of the alcoholic are seriously deteriorating. Many of the body's organs have been damaged which lowers resistance to disease. Relationships at home or socially may have been severely damaged, and there can be mounting financial and legal problems due to the alcoholic's powerlessness over alcohol.

Every alcoholic will suffer from malnutrition. Alcohol in large amounts interferes with the digestion process and the passage of nutrients from the intestines into the bloodstream. Liver function has been damaged, further limiting the conversion of nutrients into a usable form that the body can assimilate. The damaged cells are not receiving the needed nutrients, they cannot repair themselves and the damage continues. Nutritional deficiencies cause a host of related problems to become worse. For example, vitamin B-1 deficiency common in alcoholics can result in loss of mental alertness and appetite, fatigue, confusion and emotional instability.

And if the alcoholic continues drinking, alcohol will cause the death of the alcoholic in one way or another. From suicide, accidents and related injuries to direct damage to the body's organs and systems, death will likely be the final outcome of end stage alcoholism.

Are there warning signs of alcoholism? Yes! Understand the signs and symptoms that indicate that alcohol consumption is becoming or is already a problem. There are resources available in a variety of ways to help deal with alcoholism stages and the serious consequences of this disease.

Copyright 2006 InfoSearch Publishing

Learn more about alcoholism signs you should know. David Buster is VP of InfoSearch Publishing and webmaster of http://www.safemenopausesolutions.com - a website of natural health articles and resources.

What Are The 5 Most Hypnotic Words You Can Use Today?

2006-11-16T15:34:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I went to my home town, to attend the surprise 40th birthday of one of my school friends sister. She was (and still is) older than us and I can remember her beating me up when I was younger and so it was lovely to see her with a husband and teenage children of her own now.

While we were there, my friend and I were talking about how our Dads used to huddle together throughout each winter when we were kids, watching us play football. My friend's Dad used to chain smoke cigarettes. He was a man of no other vices and very few words. He was also a very big man, so when he did say a few words, generally we listened.

My school friend and I were joking about when we would be playing at his home listening to music in his bedroom and his Dad would come in from work and in his very deep, booming voice would often shout "David" to my friend (that is his name) and we would fear the worse.... However, the majority of the time, we just laughed as he wanted to check what we were up to.

I want to talk to you about the power that certain words have in this world. I am going to give you what I consider to be the 5 most powerful words known to anyone that can have a hypnotic effect on everyone you encounter.

Pretty much, the most powerful word on the face of the earth is your own name. When you were much younger, you heard your name repeated often. You unconsciously linked it with getting attention and we enjoy that attention and the feelings that went with it as a youngster.

What is the name that you were identified with the most? That is the name that has the most profound hypnotic effect on you. For most people it is their first name, or as my Mum would say, your Christian name, that carries the most impact.

This is not just my opinion by the way. Research has been conducted on this subject and it has indicated that if you appropriately use a person’s name at the very beginning or at the very end of a sentence, the likelihood of being influential and hypnotically engaging this person is increased dramatically. How powerful it is to get on first name terms with anyone.

As a teenager, without knowing this information, I always got on first name terms with my girlfriends parents and it stood me in very good stead. I still use this with all my clients and potential clients. I use it in written and verbal communication and it has such a profound effect.

Just a few months ago, I noticed that a friend never used his girlfriend’s parent’s names at all. He shied away from it for whatever reasons. I noticed this and mentioned it to him. He then started using their names to great effect, got comfortable with it and has bonded even more greatly with them all.

This does not mean that you should repeatedly use their name over and over to make a sale or influence more or get that date or help a client. I tend to say things like:

- John, do you think I have told you enough information about hypnosis now?
- If my hypnotic audio programme can greatly advance your sales this year, would you want it Jenny?
- Jeff, would you be good enough to send me on that proposal as soon as you can?
- You look pretty good in that dress, don’t you think Helen?

This is really communicating with that person intimately and hypnotically and is a very positive thing to get associated with you.

I have spoken and written often about words and the way in which we choose to use them, which ones we use and I have spoken about language formation. I am being simpler than that today and just suggesting some words that do really have a very hypnotic effect upon people, such as the use of their own name.

I think it is important to be hypnotic within your communication at all times. This means that you are resonating with the deeper aspects of some. So, onto the second hypnotic word, use the word “Because” in your hypnotic communication: You should invest in Adam Eason's audio programmes because…. he is a best selling author, well-known hypnotist, expert, researcher, very handsome etc, etc… " ;-)

The reason for using the word "because" is wired into our brains from a very young age. I can remember asking my Mum what certain things mean that I had heard or seen and when she explained them, I would ask "why.." and then when she explained again, I would ask "why..." and eventually she just said "because..."

Did you ever ask one of your parents if you could stay up late (maybe to watch a TV show that all your friends said they watched!) and when they replied “No,” you asked why and then they said “Because…”

To this day, we know the word because makes a huge difference when communicating hypnotically with people. I use this word in my advertising, in my marketing and in therapy because it is so hypnotic.

My third hypnotic word is the word “now.” Someone that all us hypnotists and hypnotic communicators refer to a lot is prominent hypnotist, psychiatrist and Godfather of modern hypnosis, Milton Erickson. He used the word now often and lots of people use it wisely and hypnotically now as a result.

Back to our previous example: "Mum can I stay up late tonight?" You got the reply "No." You subsequently give lots of replies and deliver your argument or show your frustration, and then Mum would say “go to bed NOW”… and off we trotted. Now makes any sentence into a powerful command.

Imagine yourself being a hypnotic communicator, Now. The now used carefully can become a surreptitious command to their unconscious mind, even when used carefully and softly.

Look at the differences in these two statements:

There are many advantages of my hypnotic sales programme.

NOW, let's look HERE at the many advantages of my hypnotic sales audio programme.

I did not even use it at the end of the sentence and it was made infinitely more powerful, wasn't it?

Fourthly then for today, use the word “Imagine.” Imagine yourself confidently communicating hypnotically. You see, here I am not claiming that you can do that as a result of reading my ezine or listening to my audio programmes, I am just asking you imagine it. Your mind has to process that thought and imagine the outcome in order to do so. This is key to good hypnotic communication. Get anyone to paint a picture in their mind by imagining the wonderful outcome of seeing you, or buying from you or whatever.

Finally today, even though these are collectively 3 words, I am counting them as one because of their effect. Use the words “Please” and “Thank you.” People do not just take things from you, they ask “Please can I borrow that…” and you subsequently become obligated to do it, when they say thanks, the process is complete. You learned from birth that please and thank you got you the results. You got to do so much if you used please and thank you as a youth. People pretty much always respond to please and thank you. I use this in my advertising copy, in my verbal communication, on my website and wherever I can.

So there you go, some food for thought today on the unconscious associations that we have with 5 very special and hypnotic words that do, when used wisely and elegantly, create a very hypnotic effect in those hearing them or reading them. Have some fun seeing how you can make people feel good just by you using these words more often.

Adam is a best selling author, consultant and speaker please visit his website for a vast range of personal development resources and to receive your free, instantly downloadable hypnosis session and amazing ebook: http://www.adam-eason.com Thanks.

10 Ways to Take Back Your Time

2006-11-16T02:58:00.001-08:00

I've divided my tips into two sections - 5 ways to manage your time and 5 ways to take back your time. Both offer daily or regular practices to try out in your life right now.

The first section focuses more on easing the time pressures in your life, to deal with all of the things you've gotten yourself into ;)

The second section focuses on making overall changes to your life. When you take back your time you also take back your CHOICE. When we're feeling time pressured and stressed out it's easy to forget that we have any say in the matter. And we do!

5 WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR TIME

1. Choose specific times to look at email during the day - seeing emails as they come in can really distract you from what you're trying to accomplish and you'll end up losing time as you go back and forth between activities.

2. The 15-minute strategy. This not only helps motivate you by breaking down large jobs into smaller pieces, it also makes good use of your time. The strategy is to spend 15-minutes on a task and then move on the next. You can come back to the first one as many times as you need to until it's done.

3. Find a system that works for you for making and meeting deadlines and appointments - a calendar or day-timer. I use a Palm Pilot and have been really happy with it.

4. Plan and cook meals ahead of time. A huge time-saver and also makes it much easier to eat healthier. It could be as simple as cooking an extra portion of dinner and having it for lunch the next day, or you could plan out seven days at a time (which is what I do).

5. Keep up with things - whether it's tidying up your papers, doing the dishes or working on a report, doing things a bit at a time (see tip #2) instead of letting them pile up to the point of taking you all day, is much more manageable.

5 WAYS TO TAKE BACK YOUR TIME

1. Set and keep your boundaries - if you work for someone else, be clear about over-time and taking work home with you. If you work for yourself, establish the times of day that are no-work zones; good places to start are breaks for meals and deciding when you will start and stop work for the day.

2. Make one day a week "timeless" – rise and shine when you feel like it, eat when you're hungry and let your inner child (or your actual child!) plan your day's activities. Warning: This may conflict with the tip below ;)

3. Cut your t.v. time - try limiting it to one hour per day. Or try cutting it out completely for one week.

4. Buddy up and find someone to take back time with. Whether it's your spouse, best friend, family member or work colleague, if you're both committed you won't let each other bow out.

5. Take your holidays! Whether you're self-employed or work for someone else it's important to take time off to rejuvenate. You will be more productive for it in the long run.

Where do you need to take back time in your life? Where do you need to manage your time better?

(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, is the author of “The Everyday Self-Care Workbook”. To receive one of her free monthly newsletters, subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/newsletter.html

How Body pH Can Affect Your Energy Levels

2006-11-15T14:41:00.000-08:00

WHAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE; WE ARE BIO ELECTRICAL ENGINES

In order to accomplish all the many millions of complex functions that occur over the course of the day, your body has to be able to communicate with itself… all the way down to the cellular level. And do you know how it does this? Through pulses of electricity. That's right, electricity.

Your body operates on an electro magnetic current. Believe it or not, all of the organs in your body emit these fields of electrical current. In fact, nerve signals are nothing more than electrical charges.

What creates this electrical power in your body is a very fine balance that exists in your bio chemistry. And of all the systems in your body that depend on this delicate, bio chemical balance, one of the most important is your blood stream. This is where pH comes into play. But what is pH?

WHAT PH IS AND WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO ALL YOUR BODY FUNCTIONS

PH is a scale that measures how acidic or alkaline a substance is. The scale ranges from 1 to 14 with 1 being very acid, 7 neutral and 14 very alkaline.

So what does pH have to do with you and your blood? Well, the pH of your blood is extremely important. The ideal pH level for your blood is right around 7.35 and your body goes to enormous lengths to maintain this level.

Why? Because if your blood pH were to vary 1 or 2 points in either direction, it would change the electrical chemistry in your body, there would be no electrical power and in short order you would drop dead. As you can see, maintaining the right pH level in your blood is pretty important!!

With this in mind a good way to avoid upsetting this delicate bio chemical balance would be to take a look at those things that can compromise the maintenance of the ideal pH level in your body. And what is the main culprit in this case? The answer is the creation of acid in your body.

Before we look at what causes acid, here's a graphic example to give you an idea of what can happen in the blood when your pH drops to less than ideal. Red blood cells are how oxygen is transported to all the cells in your body.

As red blood cells move into the tiny, little, capillaries, the space they have to move through gets pretty small. In fact, the diameter of the capillaries gets so small that the red blood cells sometimes have to pass through these capillaries one red blood cell at a time!

Because of this, and because it's important for the red blood cells to be able to flow easily and quickly through your body, they have a mechanism that allows them to remain separate from each other. This mechanism comes in the form of the outside of healthy red blood cells having a negative charge. This causes them to stay apart from each other, sort of like when you try to push the negative ends of two magnets together. They resist each other and stay apart.

Unfortunately, acid interferes with this very important mechanism in a pretty frightening way. Acid actually strips away the negative charge from red blood cells. The result is that your red blood cells then tend to clump together and not flow as easily. This makes it much more difficult for them to flow easily through the bloodstream.

But it also makes it harder for them to move freely through those small capillaries. This means less oxygen gets to your cells. Acid also weakens the red blood cells and they begin to die. And guess what they release into your system when they die? More acid.

I could describe a whole list of processes that occur when your system becomes and remains acid but I think you get the idea. The point is that aside from the acid that is secreted into your stomach to aid digestion, acid in your body is bad. Really bad.

In regard to producing energy in the body, here's an easy question for you. What do you think happens to a person's energy level if over time their system becomes more and more acid, their biochemical balance is disrupted and their red blood cells can't deliver oxygen and nutrients as efficiently to all their cells? The answer is simple. Their energy level drops. Dramatically.

Are you beginning to get the picture here as to the importance of pH in your body? Good. Now let's take a quick look at what causes acidity in your body and then look at steps you can take to get your body pH back to an ideal level.

WHAT CAUSES ACID IN THE BODY

The primary cause of an acidic condition in your body is from what you put in your mouth. In other words, what you eat and what you drink. And it isn't how "acid" something may seem when you eat or drink it. It has to do with what is left over when you digest it.

Specifically, does eating or drinking something leave behind an acid or alkaline "ash". For example, I don't know about you but I love seafood. Scallops are one of my favorites. However, when your body digests scallops, it leaves an extremely acid ash. In fact, scallops are one of the most acid foods you can eat.

Unfortunately, a lot of the things most people put in their mouths create an acid ash. These include alcohol, coffee and a lot of flesh protein in your diet. Interestingly enough, stress also tends to create an acid condition in the body.

STEPS YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY TAKE TO IMPROVE YOUR PH

Fortunately, it is pretty easy to immediately change your pH for the better and make it more alkaline. The first step is to understand which of the foods you are eating and the drinks you are drinking are acid and which are alkaline. Then it's simply a matter of eliminating some of the more acid foods you are eating and adding in more alkaline foods.

However, before you start, it's important to get a baseline of what the pH is in your body so that you can see how you are improving or if you need to continue to eliminate more acid foods and add in more alkaline ones.

You can do this by testing the pH of your saliva on a regular basis. This is really simple to do. More details on how to do this are provided on some web pages I have created for you to help you out. A link to these pages is provided below.

In addition to decreasing the amount of acid foods you eat and increasing the amount of alkaline foods you eat, one of the best ways to immediately begin changing your pH is to drink "green drinks". You can make these by simply adding a powder that is made up of a whole host of vegetables that are highly alkaline to a glass of water. Information on suggested green drink powders to use is included on pages that I have a link to below.

RESOURCES WHERE YOU CAN LEARN MORE

Clicking on the following link will take you to some pages I created that have more information on alkaline and acid foods, how to test your own pH and what to look for in green drinks.

http://www.ajpip.com/resources/site_map.htm

Start taking the steps described above and you may very well find your energy levels increasing over time. Mine certainly have.

- Andy Long

After years of extreme fatigue, severe digestion problems and frequent sickness, Andy Long now enjoys energy levels that allow him to windsurf in 30 mph winds for 3-4 hours at a time.

He now shares with others what he did to completely regain his health through his health related web sites and newsletter.

To see a list of the topics covered in Andy's newsletter, click on the following link: http://www.ajpip.com/rbopi/ancrb.htm

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

2006-11-15T02:42:00.000-08:00

(excerpted from the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan)

Jim Rohn's Second Pillar of Success: Goal-Setting, Part Three - S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Hi, Jim Rohn here. As you know, we are focused on the Second Pillar of Success this month - Goal-Setting.

We have introduced the four main components of Goal-Setting:

1. Evaluation and Reflection.
The only way we can reasonably decide what we want in the future and how we will get there, is to first know where we are right now and secondly, what our level of satisfaction is for where we are in life. As we focus this month on goal-setting, our first order of business and our topic two weeks ago was evaluation and reflection.

2. Dreams and Goals.
What are your dreams and goals? Not related to the past or what you think you can get, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? This isn't something that someone else says you should have or what culture tells us successful people do or have. These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your own heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Last week we showed you exactly how to find out what you want from life.

3. S.M.A.R.T. Goals.
S.M.A.R.T. means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-sensitive.

Specific: Don't be vague. Exactly what do you want?

Measurable: Quantify your goal. How will you know if you've achieved it or not?

Attainable: Be honest with yourself about what you can reasonably accomplish at this point in your life - along with taking into consideration your current responsibilities.

Realistic: It's got to be do-able, real and practical.

Time: Associate a timeframe with each goal. When should you complete the goal?

We will spend time this week looking at how to apply the S.M.A.R.T. test to your goals to make sure they are as powerful as they can be!

4. Accountability.
Think of the word "accountable." It means to "give an account." When someone knows what your goals are, they help hold you accountable. Whether it is someone else going through this program with you (have you thought about inviting a friend to join you on this one-year journey?) or just someone you can give the basic idea to, having a person who can hold you accountable will give you another added boost to getting your goals! Next week we will show you how to set up an accountability partner.

This week we will be discussing point 3 - S.M.A.R.T. Goals.

S.M.A.R.T. means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-sensitive.

I really like this acronym S.M.A.R.T., because we want to be smart when we set our goals. We want to intelligently decide what our goals will be so that we can actually accomplish them. We want to set the goals that our heart conceives, that our mind believes and that our bodies will carry out. Let's take a closer look at each of the components of S.M.A.R.T. goals:

Specific: Goals are no place to waffle. They are no place to be vague. Ambiguous goals produce ambiguous results. Incomplete goals produce incomplete futures.

When we are specific, we harness the power of our dreams and set forces into action that empower us to achieve our goals. We then know exactly what it is we are shooting for. There is no question. As we establish our priorities and manage our time, we do so for a specific goal to achieve the results we expect. There is no wondering or guessing. The future is locked into our minds and we see it - specifically - and that is powerful! Never underestimate just how important it is to have very specific, concrete goals. They act as magnets that draw you toward them! A S.M.A.R.T. goal is specific.

Measurable: Always set goals that are measurable. I would say "specifically measurable" to take into account our principle of being specific as well. Our goals should be such that we know when we are advancing and by how much. Whether it is by hours, pounds, dollars or whatever, we should be able to see exactly how we are measuring up as we proceed through the journey of life using our goals. Could you imagine if you didn't measure your goals? You would never know which way you were going or even if you were going anywhere! A S.M.A.R.T. goal is measurable.

Attainable: One of the detrimental things that many people do - and they do it with good intentions - is to set goals that are so high they are unattainable. Yes, it is very important to set big goals that cause your heart to soar with excitement, but it is also imperative to make sure that they are attainable. In the next section we talk about being realistic. So what does it mean to be attainable? An attainable goal is one that is both realistic but also attainable in a shorter period of time than what you have to work with. Now when I say attainable, I don't mean easy. Our goals should be set so they are just out of our reach; so they will challenge us to grow as we reach forward to achieve them. After the next paragraph, I will give you an example of a goal that is both attainable and realistic. A S.M.A.R.T. goal is attainable.

Realistic: The root word of realistic is "real." A goal has to be something that we can reasonably make "real" or a "reality" in our lives. There are some goals that simply are not realistic. You have to be able to say, even if it is a tremendously stretching goal, that yes, indeed, it is entirely realistic -- that you could make it. You may even have to say that it will take x, y, and z to do it, but if those happen, then it can be done. This is in no way to say it shouldn't be a big goal, but it must be realistic. This is to a great degree, up to the individual. For one person a goal may be realistic, but for another unrealistic. I would encourage you to be very honest with yourself as you do your planning and evaluation. Perhaps it would be good to get a friend to help you (as long as that friend is by nature an optimist and not a pessimist). This can go a long way toward helping you know what is realistic. A S.M.A.R.T. goal is realistic.

Example of Attainable and Realistic: Knowing that perhaps you could use a bit of help differentiating attainable and realistic, here is an example: You are overweight and have 150 pounds to lose to get to your proper weight. Is that goal attainable? Yes, considering that you also make it realistic. For example, it isn't realistic to think you can do it in 5 months. 18-24 months would be realistic (with hard work). Thus, losing 150 pounds in 2 years is both attainable and realistic, while losing 150 pounds in 5 months is neither attainable nor realistic.

Time: Every goal should have a timeframe attached to it. I think that life itself is much more productive for us as humans because there is a timeframe connected to it. Could you imagine how much procrastination there would be on earth if people never died? We would never get "around to it." We could always put it off. One of the powerful aspects of a great goal is that it has an end, a time in which you are shooting to accomplish it. You start working on it because you know there is an end. As time goes by you work because you don't want to get behind. As it approaches, you work diligently because you want to meet the deadline. You may even have to break down a big goal into different measured parts time frames. That is okay. Set smaller goals and work them out in their own time. A S.M.A.R.T. goal has a timeline.

Be sure to spend some reflection time this week to make sure your goals fit the S.M.A.R.T. parameters. Go through the reflection questions below and the action points associated with them. Doing so will put a real engine in your goals and make them charged with power to help you accomplish your dreams.

Until next week, let's do something remarkable!

Jim Rohn

Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn's Weekly E-zine.
Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved
worldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn's Weekly E-zine, go to
http://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com

4 Rules to Creating Powerful New Year's Resolutions

2006-11-14T13:12:00.001-08:00

Every year you promise yourself things will change – you’ll shed a few pounds, organize your office, get rid of clutter - maybe change the world (well, sort of…). Then it happens – apathy. What began as a grand idea disappears like a puff of smoke.

Why is that?

When we make New Year's resolutions, are we inevitably setting ourselves up for failure? Sadly, the answer is commonly, “yes.”

It’s not that our intentions aren’t honorable – we honestly want our lives to improve and we desire to eliminate things that aren’t working. The reason we fail is that we don’t plan the plans properly.

If you think New Year’s resolutions are just a modern day ritual, think again. The tradition of New Year's Resolutions can be traced back in history to 153 B.C. when the Romans selected Janus, a mythical king to be the leader of the calendar.

Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and the Romans asked their enemies for forgiveness and gave each other gifts before the New Year.

The greatest benefit about the commencement of a new year is that it gives us a chance to ‘begin again', and eliminate bad habits of the previous year.

New Year’s resolutions aren’t just about giving things up - they’re also about replacing poor habits with great ones. This is not an easy process - it requires commitment and perseverance and being aware of our self-defeating behaviours.

The most common resolutions include: losing weight, quitting smoking, saving or earning more money, being more tolerant of others, getting organized, exercising, eating well and being a better person.

By now you’ve probably reached that point where you don’t want to set any resolutions for fear they won’t come true. You know the feeling – the resolution to lose 20 pounds and it’s the end of the year and you haven’t lost weight, or the dream of exercising three times a week and getting in shape and you’re still soft and pudgy.

There’s another way to look at resolutions – you need a new approach. This begins with four rules for resolutions.

The first rule is to focus on one resolution at a time. If you start the New Year thinking, ‘I will lose weight, exercise four times a week, be a better person, make more money, etc.’ you’ll be overwhelmed and won’t focus on anything. Start with one specific goal that’s important to you (your most painful problem) at the present moment and develop a detailed plan of action for success.

The second rule for resolutions is to record them on paper or a computer; this way the goals won’t be forgotten or changed. You’ll find it easier to continue with your plan when it’s written out on paper or your computer.

The third rule is that you must be held accountable for your resolutions, otherwise you’ll ‘let the goal go’ when it gets tough. Designate a friend, mentor or a coach to monitor your progress, offer support and hold you accountable.

The fourth rule is you must be persistent; no goal will happen unless you keep working. This can be the most challenging rule – especially if you’re trying to lose weight and you don’t see immediate results.

This is where you need to use the third rule – have someone help you be accountable. You might ask your best friend to phone you weekly to check your progress on weight training. You might hire a coach to help you be accountable for setting financial goals in your company. If you belong to a business network, the members might email you and touch base weekly to help you complete your marketing goals.

If the thought of resolutions still doesn’t inspire you, consider keeping it simple and focusing on spending your New Year doing things that give you joy.

This might include: spending more time with family, friends, doing hobbies, exercising, traveling – whatever makes you happy and gives your energy.

Remember in the larger scheme of things, life is meant to be enjoyed – living by impossible lists and resolutions isn’t living, it’s existing.

Wishing you much success in the year ahead!

Lisa Rickwood, "Small Biz Stress Relief Coach," is a visual artist, coach/speaker and author of Escape The Pace: 100 Fun And Easy Ways To Slow Down And Enjoy Your Life. She helps small business owners master stress to enjoy professional and personal success. Get her free report – 10 Simple Secrets for Business Success by visiting: http://www.escapethepace.com

Quit Smoking With Nature's Help

2006-11-14T02:49:00.001-08:00

Smoking is very dangerous to your health. Most smokers feel that there is nothing that they haven’t tried in order to quit. However, they may not be aware of the many natural means available which others have used to finally end this very destructive habit. It is possible to quit smoking, if you devise a plan, cleanse and support the body and use natural methods to curb nicotine cravings.

Most, if not all, people in the United States believe that smoking is unhealthy. Why then do people smoke? The answer lies in the addictive nature of nicotine. Over 80 percent of smokers declare that they want to quit and plan to do so at some point. Even heroin addicts admit that nicotine is truly the hardest drug habit to kick. (Haas, p.964)

Almost one-third of cases of pancreatic carcinoma can be attributed to cigarette smoking. Most lung cancers are caused by cigarette smoking. (Smokers are five to ten times more likely to suffer from lung cancer than nonsmokers). The more cigarettes you smoke per day and the earlier you started smoking, the greater the risk of lung cancer.

Children of smokers have an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome, respiratory infections and lung cancer.

"Children of smokers have a much higher incidence and severity of asthma, bronchitis, colds and ear infections. They also have impaired lung development and reduced lung function tests." American Journal of Public Health, p. 209, Feb. 1989)

If you eat a balanced diet, drink a lot of clean water and take a vitamin supplement daily, you may feel that you are generally healthy. However, if you smoke, this is typically not the case. Heavy smokers do not get as much of a benefit from a healthy diet. Blood levels of Vitamin C are much lower in smokers. Zinc, Vitamin A and folic acid are often depleted in the bodies of smokers.

Now that we have covered just a few of the negative effects of smoking on the body, let’s figure out how to quit - and without drugs! It may come as a surprise to you that there is a way to be free of this horrible addiction without using prescription medication for help.

Let’s now cover some ideas on how to actually go about quitting.

Have you tried to quit before and failed? Did you quit for awhile and then start again? You may feel that because you tried and failed, that it proves that you can’t quit. However, this is not the case. In reality, you get points each time you attempt to quit. You inevitably learned something each time you tried, which gets you that much closer to being successful in quitting. Most quitters did not do it on their first try. So just think of it as your "practice" run! (3)

A main part of your quit smoking plan, is to figure out which interventions you will use when you are hit with a craving to smoke. Try to avoid being around other smokers. Learn some deep breathing exercises that you can use to de-stress. Exercise is also a great way to limit stress and keep you busy.

Something to consider once you have decided to quit smoking, is how to get the toxins out of your body. One theory is that many dependencies originate in the liver. Cleansing and detoxifying the liver is a crucial first step toward breaking free of these addictions. Detoxifying the liver will reduce the cravings for nicotine. (ESP, p. 279)

You can use echinacea to help flush the nicotine out of the lymph system and lungs. Vitamin C is a great chelator of toxic substances in the body. (Which means it will "grab" the offenders and flush them out through the waste system). A usual dose of C is 1000 mg four times per day. N-Acetyl-cysteine 1000 mg, two doses of glutamine 1000 mg, four capsules of Evening Primrose Oils and 20 Sun Wellness Chlorella tabs are a good regimine for removing nicotine toxicity from the body. (Page p. 548)

It is important during your detox and quitting time that you "avoid junk foods and sugar that aggravate cravings" (Page p.548) Ginseng can help you to normalize sugar cravings, as can stevia, stevioside or FOS. Trace mineral and mineral deficiencies can play a part in some addictions. Magnesium, potassium, calcium and zinc should all be included in the diet when trying to quit smoking. (ESP, p.279)

The main concern when quitting tobacco are the cravings! There are many choices when it comes to this issue. Essential oils, vitamins and herbal teas are all on the list of items in the "cravings" category.

Eating a diet which promotes body alkalinity is said to show less desire for tobacco. To calm your nerves, try Magnesium 800 mg daily, stress B-complex 100 mg daily, valerian/wild lettuce drops in water. (Page, p.548) Young Living Essential Oils offers a blend called "Peace and Calming" which, some people have reported, was all they needed during their quitting time.

Oil of clove is also reported by many people to be extremely effective in their war with nicotine cravings. In Stanley Burrough’s “Master Cleanser” book, he states "For those who wish to quit smoking, place a small amount (of clove oil) on your finger - place it on back of the tongue and you immediately lose your desire to smoke. This is an easy way if you really want to quit." Peppermint oil has also been reported to be effective. Just a touch of it on the tongue, in the same manner as you apply the clove oil will do it.

Single oils which may be helpful in smoking cessation in addition to clove and peppermint, are cinnamon and nutmeg. Other blends of oils recommended for reducing addictive behavior are Harmony, Thieves, Exodus II, Peace and Calming, JuvaCleanse and JuvaFlex. These can be directly inhaled or diffused, applied topically on the temples and/or back of the neck four times daily, or used as a warm compress over the liver.

Quitting smoking is not an easy task to undertake. However, if you give your body the right tools, you can repair the damage done by smoking, you can reduce your cravings and YOU CAN QUIT! Try some of these simple, natural and effective helpers. Nature is the best medicine, so believe in yourself and watch it happen!!

Some resources for people who would like more information:

Young Living Essential Oils, http://www.fragrantfamily.com/sadiesgift

Easyway by Allen Carr order at www.half.com or www.amazon.com

American Lung Association, www.alamn.org (then click “quit smoking”)

Committed Quitters, www.committedquitters.com

National Cancer Institute, www.smokefree.gov

The Stop Smoking Center, www.stopsmokingcenter.net

The Master Cleanser by Stanley Burroughs, order at www.half.com or www.amazon.com

Bibliography:

1. Haas, Elson. Staying Healthy With Nutrition . Berkeley: Celestial Arts, 1992.

2. Essential Science Publishing(2004). Essential Oil Desk Reference, 3rd Ed., www.essentialscience.net

3. American Lung Association pamphlet Quitting For Life, 2003

4. Linda Page, Ph.D. Healthy Healing: A Guide to Self-Healing for Everyone, 12th Edition. Healthy Healing, Inc., 2004

5. Retrieved March 4 , 2005 from http://www.getoutraged.com/facts_top_pg2.html

Renee Suchy has been a Health Unit Coordinator for seven years, and is currently working toward earning both a Bachelor of Natural Health Studies degree and a Doctor of Naturopathy degree. She has also been studying aromatherapy for over a year. You can visit her site for therapeutic grade essential oils at http://www.fragrantfamily.com/sadiesgift

Free Tips To Improve Self Confidence

2006-11-13T15:23:00.000-08:00

1. DRUNK!

At the age of sixteen I was invited out for the evening on a Saturday night to celebrate a friend’s birthday. This for most people would be something to look forward to, for me it was something to dread. Socializing and ordering drinks for somebody who has a stutter is bad enough, but I regularly seemed to bare the brunt of the evening’s jokes about me height, weight and occasionally my bald patch. Even though my friend’s were not doing this to be cruel, I was very paranoid about myself at that age and this banter would hurt.

I had often been out for evenings where I drank alcohol, however up to this point had never been drunk. On this particular night the drink flowed and before long I found myself a little worse for ware. The results of which would later change my life.

I found myself talking to lots of different people, some of which I did not know, even girls! My whole character and personality started to change, I was telling jokes and when someone made a comment about my weight for example, I laughed and even came back with a derogatory comment about him, joining in the banter and seemingly enjoying it.

My attitude changed, for example instead of thinking that a certain girl might not want me because of my weight, stutter or height, I thought to myself, she will want me, I’m a good person and could make her laugh. My whole outlook was far more positive and my confidence was buzzing. It was a superb and very enjoyable night.

The next morning I awoke not feeling the best with a bad hangover. One of the highlights of the previous night was that I had been given a phone number from one of the girls I had met. I told her that I would phone her to arrange a date, however I was now sober, back to my normal self and no did not have the confidence to ring. This girl thinks I am fluent, how would she react if I stutter, I wondered.

I went to bed most disappointed with myself but started to analyse the differences between when I had been drunk to when I was sober. The conclusion was obvious, when drunk I can talk, I don’t care about my weight, lack of height etc. When sober I have a lack of confidence and am paranoid about certain aspects about my person. I knew that I could not be drunk 24/7 and that what I needed to do was to become a harder person, less paranoid etc. I had to be mentally drunk all of the time without being physically drunk. I knew this would be hard to achieve but in the future possibly when I was older would be a must.

This attitude is hard to achieve, however using some of the following methods became a reality for me a number of years later.

2. YOU HAVE TO START TO LIKE YOURSELF!

At the age of twenty-two I decided to as already stated deal with and try to overcome some of the issues in my life. I started to read various books, like mind over matter and positive thinking type books.

In one such book it had a line which read:

“You need to start to like yourself”

I put the book down and starting to think and realized that I didn’t actually like myself. I hated being overweight, shorter than average, having a bald patch and especially having a speech impediment.

I carried on reading and it went on to say:

“There are various things about one’s self which even though we don’t like we are unable to change, therefore we have to accept them. Other aspects we can change therefore we have to work extremely hard with determination to eradicate them.

Once again I put the book down and thought about this. Firstly my height, am I ever going to grow any taller? The answer is no, there is nothing I can do to increase my height at the age of twenty-two therefore I have to accept it. From reading more of the book later I realized that I was being over-sensitive about this and some of my other issues. There are a lot of people out there a lot worse off than I am. Does my current height hurt me in anyway or affect my life in any major negative way, again the answer is no.

Secondly, the bald area on my head. As with the above hair is not going to start growing in that area of my scalp, I have had the bald patch since birth and therefore have to accept the fact and even try to like it.

Then there is my weight. This is something that I could change, therefore I have to work hard to lose the weight. I have to accept certain sacrifices; such as to eat less fatty foods and be disciplined to reach my target weight, however long it might take.

Finally there is my speech impediment. I had had a stutter since the age of four and for me this was the most important of all of my issues. I was not sure if I would be able to achieve fluency, however in my mind believed I could. If I can talk when I am drunk I should be able to talk when I am fluent. I was not going to accept having a stutter for the rest of my life until I had worked hard to eradicate it. Work hard I did and eventually I overcome this major issue in my life.

I advise people that the above were my own personal issues and that each individual has to identify there own. It is then a case of accepting the issues which can not be changed and working hard to overcome the ones that can.

3. ATTITUDE

I was somebody who wanted to be like by everybody. If anybody criticized me or called me names, I would easily be offended and my confidence would drop. As an example from the age of about seventeen I would go out with my friends most Friday and Saturday nights to public houses and sometimes to a night club. I remember one Saturday morning, aged about eighteen, waking up feeling quite ill, very hung over. I had consumed far too much alcohol on the previous evening. I looked in my wallet and had also spent far too much money. I decided that I would stay in on the Saturday night, just for a change. During the afternoon I had a phone call from a friend called Phil. He asked me where we going that night. After telling him that I was not going out, he called me boring on numerous occasions, offering to lend me money, saying that I had changed etc. I didn’t want him to think of me in this way however stuck to my guns, eventually he put the phone down on me in a mood. Within a few minutes another friend phoned asking why I was not going out, also calling me various names including boring. I ended up going out.

At this age I did not have enough respect for myself, I was too concerned what people thought of me and was easily persuaded into doing things and going places that I in didn’t want to.

After reading some of the books as mentioned above I realized this and asked myself a question:

“Am I boring”

I have lots of interests, theater, cinema, eating out, chess, football, snooker, golf, horse racing, tennis, music to name a few. By this age I was becoming bored of going out drinking alcohol. I decided to be strong and stated to my friends that I was now only going out drinking once a month. Originally, every Friday and Saturday night people would phone asking me if I was going out, if I declined I was criticized, your so boring for example. My new found attitude, though hard at first to adopt and follow through meant that I didn’t really care and I certainly didn’t bow to pressure.

One particular friend, Phil, was particularly verbally aggressive and demanding, calling me different names. He was seemingly in shock that someone was standing up to him. On one afternoon I fought back and said to him:

“Whatever you say, whatever you call me, I am not going out tonight, however I will go out with you on Tuesday night if you want to”

He agreed to this so I asked him if he wanted a game of snooker, or golf, or a trip to the cinema or theatre. He thought all of these options were “boring”. I mentioned other interests of mine such as chess, again all of the options I mentioned he didn’t find interesting. I said to him:

“OK, where would you like to go?”
“What about the pub for a few beers?”

I laughed at Phil and said:

“I’m sorry mate you’re the one who is boring not me”.

I then put the phone down on him for a change.

My attitude was beginning to change for the better. I was becoming harder and stronger mentally. A few years later I met my present fiancee and I soon realised I was a long way off the level I wanted to be. Her name is Sharron and a couple of weeks after we had met she invited me to a night out with some of her friends who she said wanted to meet me. I knew I had to go even though in reality it was the last thing I wanted to do. I was worried what her friends might think of me etc. I did attend and managed to cope, however I was very quiet, felt uncomfortable throughout the evening and felt very nervous. I was glad to get back to the safety of my own home! A couple of weeks later I was invited to meet her parents and immediately I had the same feelings as above and the night passed in a similar way with me having a distinct lack of confidence etc.

About a month later Sharron agreed to accompany me to a wedding in Birmingham where I was born. On this day she would meet most of my friends and family for the first time. As we were driving on the motorway I thought she must be a bit nervous. I asked her if she was OK and if she was slightly nervous. She replied:

“What have I got to be nervous about?”

“Well your meeting my family and friends later. Are you not concerned what they will think of you?”

“Steve, I don’t care what they think of me. It’s what you think that counts and I know you like me!”

This was not a front she was putting on. Suddenly I realised how far I was away from the attitude to life and attitude to people I wanted to have. Sharron has helped me to reach that level. Being around positive people at this stage was very beneficial to me.

Stephen Hill helps people to gain confidence. He has a website at http://www.gain-confidence.co.uk.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Hill

Overcome the Top 10 Causes of Workplace Stress

2006-11-13T02:49:00.000-08:00

Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing
corporate America a fortune. Some estimate that
80% of health care costs are stress related, and
these expenses go right to the bottom line.

According to CNN-Money.com, Americans spent more
than $17 billion for anti-depressants and anti-
anxiety drugs in 2002, up 10% from the year before
and nearly 30% over a two year period.

The Institute for Management Excellence reports
that American industry spends more than $26
billion each year for medical bills and disability
payments with another $10 billion for executive's
lost workdays, hospitalization, and early death.

In addition to these staggering figures, stress
takes its toll through the added costs of quality
control, legal challenges, lost opportunities,
poor performance, bad attitudes, and training.

We cannot do much about the skyrocketing costs of
medical care and prescription drugs, but we can
take immediate action to control the top ten
causes of stress as identified by The Global
Business and Economic Roundtable on Addiction and
Mental Health.

The countdown is:

10. "Workload" – Employees report that they are
often stressed when they have too little or too
much to do. Managers need to divide
responsibilities and help employees prioritize
work that must be done. Make sure you understand
the impact before shifting responsibilities. Take
into account the cost of stress before you
increase anyone’s workload or hire more people.

9. "Random interruptions" - Telephones, pagers,
walk-in visits, and spontaneous demands from
supervisors all contribute to increased stress.
Time management, delegation of responsibilities,
and clarification of expectations can reduce these
stressors. 8. "Pervasive uncertainty" – Stress
levels increase rapidly when people are confronted
by new requirements and procedures. Keeping
people informed controls stress and increases
productivity. Put details in a memo so they can
review the facts following your explanations.

7. "Mistrust and unfairness" - These situations
keep everyone on edge, create bad attitudes, and
lower productivity. It is important to keep an
open line of communication to avoid
misunderstanding and know what people are thinking
about your decisions. Managers must consistently
build trust and give equal treatment - just do the
right thing.

6. "Unclear policies and no sense of direction" -
Lack of focus causes uncertainty and undermines
confidence in management. You need more than a
well-written policy manual. Enforcement of
policies and clear communications are essential.

To make sure everyone gets the message, you can
repeat your explanation in a variety of ways –
repetition and feedback are important. Reinforce
policies through memos, articles, bulletin board
postings, personal meetings, and small group
discussions.

5. "Career and job ambiguity" - If people are
uncertain about their jobs and careers, there is a
feeling of helplessness and of being out of
control. In addition to the trusted job
descriptions and annual personnel reviews, people
need to understand a broad range of issues that
affect the company.

News of mergers, consolidations, plant closings,
and restructuring contribute to a feeling of
helplessness. Management must keep people informed
about situations that will affect their jobs, or
the rumor mill will add to an already stressful
situation.

4. "No feedback - good or bad” – People want to
know whether they are meeting expectations.
Consistent, written and verbal, personalized
feedback is required. Some people need more
attention than others, but everyone’s performance
is enhanced if leaders frequently affirm
individual efforts.

3. "No appreciation” - Failure to show
appreciation generates stress that endangers
productivity throughout the company. There are
many ways to demonstrate appreciation, but the
most effective is a sincere comment about how much
the person means to you and the company.

2. "Lack of communications" - Poor communication
leads to decreased performance and increased
stress. Management memos and announcements work
well for distributing information, but two-way
conversation improves communication and solicits
ideas and suggestions while reducing stress and
complaints.

1. “Lack of control” – Workplace stress is at its
greatest when employees have no say regarding
things that affect them. You can decrease
sensitivity to all the other stressors and give a
sense of being in control by involving employees
in operating and administrative decisions and
acting on their input. Frontline employees know
what they are talking about. Listening to what
they have to say reduces stress and increases
productivity.

Effective managers understand that stress control
is a leadership responsibility and give it just as
much attention as any other management function.
For those who want to explore stress control
further, a free 3-session e-course is available by
email request at stresscontrol@sendfree.com

Grasping the concepts and reducing stress one step
at a time can have an amazing impact on your
bottom line --and on the lives of those who do the
heavy work.

Dale Collie - professional speaker, former
US Army Ranger, CEO, and a Fast Company top
50 innovative leader. Author of "Winning
Under Fire." (McGraw-Hill) collie@couragebuilders.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dale_Collie

The Most Courageous People in the World

2006-11-12T18:14:00.000-08:00

Who are the most courageous people in the world? Armed services? Coastguards? Astronauts? Firepersons? Explorers? Mountaineers? ……Sports? For us, the most courageous people in the world are those who are committed to discovering how they can get the best out of themselves. Individuals, who are committed to learning about and changing, their habits and beliefs in order to fulfil their dreams. Individuals, who are fighting the dreaded disease of complacency.

Complacency is one of the deadliest diseases you face in your life. It stifles growth. Kills companies. Destroys the economy of your Country. Changes and destroys your relationship with your partner, friends, children and colleagues.

If you:

have a feeling of self-satisfaction.

find you are low in energy and enthusiasm.

have become unaware of danger, trouble, or controversy in your life.

find it difficult to accept positive criticism and acknowledge your mistakes.

take ages making a decision, especially those that will change your future or may be unpopular.

go through the day with an attitude of ‘ that’s good enough’ or ‘that will do’.

Then, in a nutshell, complacency has you in it’s hands and is destroying you.

Complacency is taking away your spirit.

How do you overcome complacency? What’s the treatment?

Napoleon Hill says the treatment is: Control Your Own Thoughts.
“You are searching for the magic key that will unlock the door to the source of power; and you have the key in your own hands, and you make use of it the moment you learn to control your own thoughts.”

The magic key is NOT to focus on and control your negative and wasteful thoughts but to develop your necessary and positive thoughts.

Negative and wasteful thoughts, like blame and worry, have no useful purpose. Their job is to reduce your energy and your potential. To make you weaker than you really are. Therefore DO NOT concentrate your thinking on your weaknesses because the more you think negative and wasteful thoughts the further and further you will get from your potential. You cannot change negative thoughts to positive ones.

So, what can you do?

There are two strategies that you can adopt to be successful:

1. Focus on your necessary and positive thoughts.
Necessary thoughts: those that keep your life working naturally and Positive thoughts are those that move you forward with the intention of forming win/win relationships. Both are invaluable. They bring you energy and success. They are your seeds to a successful life. They drive your feelings, words and actions. The more you can think in the positive the more your feelings, words and actions are positive and you are successful.

2. Stop asking yourself ‘why’ whenever you don’t get the results you want..
‘Why’ only causes you to respond with ‘because’. And any sentence starting with ‘because’ means that you are now defending your past behaviour and change is impossible. Instead ask yourself; ‘what caused it to happen’ or ‘how did it happen’. Now you have something strong to base your future on.

These strategies are the antidote that finishes complacency and give you freedom.

You have the freedom to choose your behaviour. You don’t have to continue following others and what others say to you. All you have to do is focus on your natural and positive thoughts. These give you power and enable you to find what you are truly capable of.

The most courageous people in the world are those who overcome the disease of complacency and strive to be all they are capable of being.

"Only those who risk going far can possibly find out how far one can go"
(TS Eliot 1888 - 1965)

Graham and Julie
www.desktop-meditation.com

To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to:
http://www.desktop-meditation.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Graham_Harris

Overcoming Addiction: Addiction + Denial = Out of Control

2006-11-12T14:00:00.001-08:00

My addiction used to control me. It overwhelmed the person inside of me, and I became a stranger to my family, and to myself. All I cared about was having another drink. All I thought about was where and when I was going to get my next drink. My mind was totally and completely absorbed within my addiction, and I didn’t even know it. I was proud, haughty and selfish. I was an alcoholic.

Do you have an addiction? Some of us overeat, over drink, smoke, look at porn, gamble, do drugs, or become abusive. We can even be addicted to our feelings. When we let our negative thoughts control us to do wrong, we are under the power of our thoughts and feelings. Addiction controls several aspects of our character that keep us from coming to our full potential. I know these things first hand; I have been there and done that.

Mentally the addiction affects the way we think and feel, and how we live our life. The addiction will literally stunt the growth process, and the addict will remain childish, selfish and insensitive to the needs of others. Psychologically the addict remains in denial, and will do just about anything to justify bad behavior to others while under the control of their addiction. Addicts are basically selfish people who only care about themselves even though they are real good at manipulating others into believing otherwise.

Emotionally the addiction makes the addict become overly defensive to anyone who tries to take away what he or she so desires. Addicts have a difficult time suppressing their negative emotions and are immature and childish. If they become too dependent on the addiction, they will justify reasons of why they think they are better people when abusing their substance of choice. Their low self-esteem keeps them very sensitive to how others feel about them. They are prone to finding faults in others to get any attention off of them.

Spiritually the addict is at a loss. He is desensitized to the spiritual self within him. The addiction keeps the addict from becoming the whole and complete person that God intended him to be. True potential is stunted. The addict does and says things that he normally wouldn’t if he were living his life without the neediness of addiction. The addict is missing out on so much in his life that he “wants and needs” too much, making him unable to give of himself.

In the days of my disease, I reveled in my negative feelings, denying my weakness and sins. My feelings literally fed my constant unhappiness. If I accepted the fact that God was my source for REAL happiness, I would have to admit my failings, something that a spiritually bankrupt person is unable to do. In essence, the addict desperately needs to have trust enough in God first to quit their addiction and then begin to grow out from the selfish aspect of their rebellious personality.

Alcohol and drug addiction affects the whole family. Family members are affected in different ways, especially the person who loves the addict and enables the addiction. This person is called the enabler because they sweep things under the rug, so to speak, pretending there isn’t a problem. Unfortunately, the enabler usually gets the brunt of the abuse from the addict because the addict expects so much from them. If the enabler doesn’t come through with the addict’s neediness and constant requests for things, the enabler had better watch out! The enabler is just as sick mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as the abuser. They both need help.

The enabler is the rescuer of the addicted person. As long as the problem is continually swept under the carpet by the enabler, the addiction will continue to progress further because no one believes there is a problem! Denying the problem exists runs rampant in homes where addiction is fed. The longer the addict continues to use, the worse it will be for everyone involved.

What happens to the person who is controlled by addiction? Many things take place, but some of the things that control the addict are not always apparent to anyone else. Usually what we notice first in the addict is the emotional imbalance of the mental and spiritual capacity, and the decline of health. But what isn't apparent about addiction is actually the most important element of who a person really is. And that is the lack of spiritual realism in the addicted person. He or she through their addiction denies the spiritual Christ to intervene within the framework of who they are. As long as the addicted person remains unspiritual they will remain a slave to their addiction. Unfortunately, it usually takes something very drastic and horrific to happen to the addict before they actually give up their addiction and ask God for forgiveness and help. This is called the “end of the addicts ropes”, or “bottom out effect.”

On the outside some addicts look like everyone else. They go to church, acknowledge God, raise families and have careers. But through all of this, they still lack the spiritual maturity and godly wisdom to realize the impact, and the consequences of their addiction. These things aren’t ‘t important to the addict. For the addict just being able to continue on with their lives without anyone realizing they have a problem gives the addict more justification and credibility for remaining in their addiction. They themselves remain in denial, talking them selves out of having a problem. They must bottom out! The setback with that is, the enabler keeps rescuing the addict’s behavior and so they never bottom out!

The addict one way or another must come to grips with his REAL source of who he is and with the potential of his existence. But if the addict is in denial, this is going to be difficult for him to do. The addict is usually a selfish and arrogant individual who hasn’t come to grips with who he or she is and so how can they know, understand, accept, and believe in their creator for guidance?

Enablers can do something to help the addict, but they’re afraid that it will somehow change the addict, or that the addict won’t love them anymore. In essence, the enabler needs to get help first, so he can then help the addict.
The three main reasons the enabler keeps saving the addict is below. The three main reasons the addict can’t stop using are below.

(1)Fear = panic, trepidation, apprehension, terror, afraid of the unknown, etc
(2)Denial = mentally refuse to believe, and emotionally refute, disclaimer,
(3)Spiritual loss = proud, haughty, unbeliever, rebellious, arrogant, self-righteous,

The addiction takes hold of the mind with such force the addict is afraid to even think of living without the addiction. Addicts try to stop, but their bodies and mind tell them they can’t. They are filled with fear and terror at the thought of not getting their next fix, afraid they will not be able to cope in life, but this just isn’t so!

At first abstaining from an addiction that has controlled the mind, body, and soul for so long does make us feel insecure and self doubting, but the addict can endure and overcome those fears through the help of God. But first before any of this will have any real impact on the addict he must WANT TO QUIT THE ADDICTION!!

By trusting in what God says is true, you can believe in the power of Gods words to help guide you away from your fears and into God’s truth and love. God’s words are the addicts comfort and refuge. Gods breath-filled words, and spiritual presence over-powers evil and reveals the truth in the addict. The evil is the addiction, and God's loving kindness is stronger and more powerful than any addiction.

Alcoholics Anonymous teaches to believe in a higher power because addicts are powerless to change on their own. This statement is very true. Why do you think addicts quit for a while only to go back to it again? They thought they had enough strength and will power to quit on their own.

All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."
2 Timothy 3:15-16

When the addict feels scared, fearful, and insecure, or just plain weird in their body, they need to go to the scriptures. If they are tempted to go back to the addiction, they need to go to the scriptures, and ask for the Spirit of Jesus Christ to intervene for them in their temptation. They must trust in God with all their heart, mind and soul, and He WILL deliver them from the evils of addiction!

I know that God delivers people away from their addictions and sins, it happened to me! I prayed to God with all my heart and mind to guide me out of my addiction to alcohol. I also prayed that the craving for alcohol be taken from me for good. I have been sober for over twelve-years now, and I have not ONCE craved the desire to drink. As a matter of fact, when I see others abusing alcohol I feel so unpleasant inside, and deep sorrow for them because I know exactly how they are feeling, and what they are going through. It’s not good.

The addict has got to really want to stop his addiction before God will intervene. God wants to know that you are for Him and not against Him. When we abuse our minds day in and day out, we have no spiritual awareness to even acknowledge the existence of Him who created us! God wants you to acknowledge Him, and ask Him to help you overcome your addiction.

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." Romans 1:16

Addicts are powerless without God! The Spirit of Christ is the stronghold to your future. It is the foundation for your life! Do you want to stop beating yourself up? Humble down your proud and arrogant ways. Let go of the old sinful selfish person to God. Let go of those heavy burdens. Believe in yourself and know what a better person you can become serving God without the weight of addiction upon your shoulders!

Come to Jesus Christ! "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13

"For God did not give us a Spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

Jesus Christ is the power that overcomes all things that hold us in bondage. The foundation of truth, wisdom, and love is our stronghold! Take a hold of it now and let addiction go for good!

Copyright 2005 Angie Lewis

Author: Journey on the Roads Less Traveled http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com
ISBN 1413788904 Writer for online Christian/spiritual ministry, Heaven Ministries.
http://www.heavenministries.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angie_Lewis

Live Your Life To The Fullest

2006-11-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

Do you sometimes feel that you're living a boring life? You
just can't seem to find anything exciting.

You wake up in the morning, then do the same old rituals.
You go to the office or to school. You meet the same people,
do the same job, travel the same road, booooring. Next
day, same story.

Do you want a change in your life? The solution is YOU!
You're the master of your destiny. You decide if you want
to have a change or not.

Take the situation of a high school graduate. He have 2
choices - to continue through college or earn money working
as a clerk.

He's intimidated by the difficulties of studying, thesis, etc.
He doesn't think he will pass the exams because he thinks he's
below average. He doesn't like to take the risk of failing
college and earning no money at present.

So he works as a clerk earning meager income. He's happy
because he's earning money at such a young age while his
friends are having a hard time.

But then his friends graduated and got high-paying jobs. He
envies them. If only he have sacrificed a few years and
faced all the challenges of college, then he could've had
a better life. If only he had taken the risk!

There are also some people who want to improve their lives,
but they're just too afraid to come out of their comfort
zones and explore the endless opportunities out there.

Yes, there may be challenges and problems; but if you try
your best to move forward, you'll get more out of life.

Explore and diversify. Take a different route to work,
eat exotic foods you've never tasted, do something
outrageous (not dangerous).

Life could be exciting. It's your choice. Are you
satisfied with your life right now? If not, then you
need to do the things that you think will make your
life complete and meaningful.

You've got only one life to live. Maximize every opportunity.
Go out and do those things which will leave lasting memories
in your mind. Live every day as if it's your last.

Seize every moment!

Michael Lee is the author of "How To Be A Red Hot Persuasion
Wizard," an ebook designed to fully improve your relationships,
multiply your profits, win negotiations, and help you attain all
the desired freedom and power you could ever dream of. Go to http://www.20daypersuasion.com now and grab a sample chapter.

Holosync Meditation - Does It Really Work?

2006-11-11T20:44:00.000-08:00

Chances are, if you are on a quest for self-improvement, you've already heard of the Holosync Meditation CD's.

What It Is:

Developed by Bill Harris in the late 1980s, the Holosync Solution is an audio program designed to bring your brain waves to the alpha (and lower)levels automatically just by listening to the cds. According to Bill: "Holosync is a way to create deep meditation easily, precisely and consistently."

Beyond The Hype:

I thought it was about time someone talked about what it's REALLY like to use the Holosync cds. I've been using the program for 2 years fairly consistently. That means sitting down almost every day, putting on my headphones and doing nothing else for an hour. It's a huge time commitment and there were times I wondered if it was worth it.

In The Beginning:

Unlike the other testimonials you may have read, I did not experience profound changes after listening to the first cd. In fact, for the most part, I fell asleep! But that's okay, because the more I listened, the less sleeping I did. Truth be told, I still doze off when I'm starting a new level. Each new level takes you into deeper meditative states and requires an adjustment.

As Time Goes By:

Here I am, two years later, still making the time and financial commitment to stick with it. Why? Because I'm amazed at the person I've become. Over the course of the two years:

I'm calmer

I rarely get angry.

I have a more positive attitude.

I've become more spiritual.

I'm happier - negative thoughts creep in, but they don't stay.

Would I have experienced this growth without Holosync? Maybe, but I believe it would have taken much longer.

Have I reached the "nirvana" state while meditating? A couple of times I have experienced that deep all-encompassing sense of peace, but for the most part, my thoughts tend to drift. I try to start each session with an affirmation or goal statement, but often I'll end up working out a problem or thinking about other things. It seems to work anyway and I always feel refreshed and calm at the end of a session.

What About Using Other Programs?

Absolutely! I've used and still incorporate other programs into my Holosync meditation. I mentioned affirmations, but other types of releasing programs work well, even different meditation techniques can work with Holosync.

Self improvement should be a never-ending quest. You can usually gain some new insights by listening to a different point of view.

If you are interested in learning more about Holosync meditation, click on the link at the end of this article. You'll be directed to a products review site.

GiGi runs a self help products review site that includes books, audios, movies and software. Many free resources! The Holosync Solution

Procrastination - Understanding & Overcoming it

2006-11-11T07:11:00.001-08:00

Whenever I've worked on 'de-cluttering' my living or working space, I've always found that it's the unfinished project – whatever I’m procrastinating about - that takes up the most room.

Physically, it's a constant reminder of something I tell myself I SHOULD be doing.

Mentally, it consumes my thoughts and diverts my attention from the present moment.

Emotionally, it weighs down my heart and nicks away at my confidence.

In this article, I invite you to consider how procrastination, as a form of self-sabotage, shows up in the different areas of your life.

Understanding Procrastination - Why do you procrastinate?

Maybe your physical surroundings and your 'systems' of organization are getting in your way. For example:

~ My workspace is too messy

~ I'm too busy

Maybe distracting or debilitating emotions or thoughts are getting in your way. For example:

~ I'm afraid - afraid to fail, afraid to succeed

~ I'm overwhelmed

Maybe your physical body and its level of well-being is getting in your way. For example:

~ I'm too tired

Maybe your thoughts about the other people in your life are getting in your way. For example:

~ They might not like it

~ It won't be as good as _____, so why bother?

Procrastination is a habit like any other. If you can envision how you want to be instead and look honestly at what forms of self-sabotage you usually use, you CAN compensate for your procrastination.

Overcoming Procrastination: What type of procrastinator are you?

Are you a Do-er or a Stew-er?

Do-er

A “do-er” will do anything to avoid the task at hand – the dishes need washing, the dog needs walking, the mail needs sorting, the bills need paying, the files need organizing, etc.

Action Plan for Do-er’s

Set a timer for 15-minutes and tell yourself that as soon as it goes off you can do whatever else you want, but until it does, you must sit in that chair and work on the project in front of you.

Train your self

Keep it short

Stay in your chair

Stew-er

A “stew-er” will sit and “stew” about the thing you’re not doing. Your mind will spin round and round about different possibilities, you will plan elaborate things for when you do get around to working, you’ll be thinking so far into the future that you’ll never catch up to yourself.

Action Plan for Stew-er’s

Focus and calm your mind with meditation, affirmations and mind-body work such as breathing.

Clear your mind

Ground your thoughts

Pause and breathe

Whether you’re a “do-er” or a “stew-er”, when we can accomplish our creative goals IN SPITE of having so many reasons to put them off, the rewards are even sweeter.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I need to remember that all I have to do is the next thing. A few next things later and I've tackled quite a bit!

It’s important to consider the bigger picture of this “thing” that you’re trying to do. There’s always the possibility that you don’t really want to do it or that you’re not meant to be doing it. If this is the case, a part of you knows that and is trying to tell you, so listen up (just make sure it’s not fear or self-doubt in disguise).

Lastly, remember to celebrate what you HAVE accomplished, no matter how small. The more you focus on what you HAVE done, versus what you HAVEN’T, the more confidence you’ll have and the more momentum you’ll build towards the next thing you’re going to do.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. To receive one of her free monthly newsletters, subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/newsletter.html